The husband was present at the birth of the doctor. Dad in labor. The story of childbirth through the eyes of a man. A man should have a clear visual understanding of how all this happens before giving birth

Legal and organizational aspects of partner childbirth with a husband, mother or even best friend :)

Many women are afraid to give birth. They can be understood - this process is painful and mysterious, especially if a woman gives birth for the first time. In addition to pain and uncertainty, many women are frightened by the fact that in Russia it is customary to give birth alone - a loving husband and his strong shoulders at the time of the birth of a child are usually worried at home. Some are afraid of the helpless position they will find themselves in during labor and the fact that they will not be able to prevent the possibly incompetent actions of doctors.

I want a loved one to be nearby, to support, to help... besides, before my eyes there is a picture from Hollywood films, where a happy father hands a newborn baby to the mother.

Fortunately, all this is quite doable. If desired, it is quite possible to register the presence of your husband at the birth (or the presence of another loved one, we will write about this below).

We will discuss how to weigh the pros and cons of childbirth with your husband in another article.

In this article we will try to describe all possible organizational and legal issues related to partnership childbirth, which will allow you to prepare for this important event.

So, who can legally be present at childbirth?

Let's turn to Russian legislation. It contains a law on the presence of the husband at childbirth, which directly regulates this issue:

Federal Law of the Russian Federation of November 21, 2011 N 323-FZ “On the fundamentals of protecting the health of citizens in the Russian Federation”

Article 51 clause 2. The father of the child or another family member is given the right, with the consent of the woman, taking into account her state of health, to be present at the birth of the child, with the exception of cases of surgical delivery, if the obstetrics facility has appropriate conditions (individual delivery rooms) and the father or other family member does not have infectious diseases . The exercise of this right is carried out without charging a fee to the child’s father or other family member.

and

paragraph 3. 10 of the Order of the Ministry of Health of Russia dated November 26, 1997 No. 345 “On improving measures for the prevention of nosocomial infections in obstetric hospitals.”) “The presence of a husband (close relatives) during childbirth is possible in the presence of conditions (individual maternity wards), absence of visiting person with an infectious disease (acute respiratory infection, etc.), with the permission of the doctor on duty, taking into account the woman’s condition..."

Let's clarify. In Russia, close relatives are:

In accordance with Article 14 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, close relatives are relatives in a direct ascending and descending line. These are parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren, full and half (having a common father or mother) brothers and sisters.

That is, according to current legislation, in addition to your husband, your mother and even (if desired) your older children, grandparents or sister can be present at the birth. In reality, of course, any company other than a husband or mother is rare.

The law also provides for the visitor's absenceinfectious diseases, however, what exactly these diseases are is not specified in the legal act. This part is determined by the medical institution itself where you decide to give birth. This is exactly what the next one is about. chapter.

Previously, before amendments to the law on partner childbirth came into force, the husband’s presence at childbirth was often formalized as the presence of a proxy. It should be noted that in this case, the person present at the birth does not necessarily have to be your relative. This registration mechanism is still effective and may be suitable for patients of “stubborn” clinics, where they do not want to hear about letting another person into the delivery room.

A proxy is a person to whom the patient delegates the rights to represent his interests when communicating with medical personnel. Proxies are usually used by those who find it difficult to exercise their rights independently (for example, parents are proxies for children), but even in the case of an adult woman in labor who entrusts her rights to her husband, this is quite legitimate. The legal background of this action is such that the authorized person has the right, instead of the patient, to consent/refuse voluntary medical intervention (for example, to place an epidural anesthesia or not). Since a large number of medical interventions are carried out during childbirth, the proxy must be in constant contact with the patient in order to be able to protect his rights. Refusal of the authorized person to see the principal is a violation of the law and (in the event of complications in the mother or child) an unambiguous basis fordisciplinary, civil and/or criminal liability. (Article 185 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, on obtaining the status of a legal representative, clauses 7, 8, 12 of Article 30 “Fundamentals of the legislation of the Russian Federation on the protection of the health of citizens” - the patient’s right to have access to a lawyer or legal representative).

This is what a power of attorney looks like. It is better to have it certified by a notary:

Sample power of attorney:

POWER OF ATTORNEY “___” _____________ 20___ city _____________________ I, _________________________________________________________, passport series ______ No. _____________, issued ________________________________ __________________________________________________ date ___________________. Living at the address: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________, I trust the citizen _____________________________________________________ passport series ______ No. _____________, issued on ________________________________ ___________________________________________________ date ___________________, residing at the address: ________________________________________________ ___________________________________________, to exercise on my behalf all the rights of the patient provided for in Articles 30-31 of the Fundamentals of Legislation of the Russian Federation on the protection of the health of citizens,” in particular, the right to choose a medical institution and a doctor, the right to give informed voluntary consent and refuse medical intervention, the right to receive any information about the state of my health, the right to get acquainted with all medical information related to my health documents, to receive copies of them, - the right to choose persons to whom, in my interests, any information about the state of my health can be transferred, - the right to make complaints and statements on my behalf to any officials, as well as to represent my interests in matters of providing me with medical care in any medical and administrative institutions of the Russian Federation, conduct civil cases in all judicial institutions with all the rights granted by law to the plaintiff, defendant, third party and victim, including the right to end the case amicably, to recognize or waive claims in whole or in part , changing the subject of the claim, appealing a court decision, obtaining a writ of execution.

The ability to choose not only a relative as a confidant leads to another type of partner birth - childbirth with a birth assistant, or doula. This movement, quite popular in the West, is currently not very widespread in the CIS countries. A doula is a woman, most often a psychologist or physician by training, whose vocation and profession is helping women during childbirth. This help is not medical, but rather psychological and organizational. Due to workload, the medical staff of the maternity hospital usually cannot devote 100% of their time to each girl. A doula experienced in obstetrics will remain with the woman continuously, she acts as a personal caregiver. A doula can calm an anxious woman in labor, give a massage and help “find” contractions. Some maternity hospitals offer doula services from the clinic, but if you want to bring your own assistant, you will need to register her as a proxy.

It is also necessary to understand that the presence of any visitor is possible only during natural childbirth. During a planned caesarean section, as well as if complications arise during normal labor, presence is not allowed.

But how does it actually work out? The presence of the husband at childbirth in Russian realities.

In fact, regulation of the process of presence during childbirth occurs at the level of the maternity hospital itself. Basically, for the presence of the husband, it is necessary to have a separate maternity ward, a change of clothes and shoes for the visitor, and a minimum set of certificates (most often they require fluorography and tests for AIDS hepatitis).

However, conditions vary greatly from establishment to establishment. Patients in paid maternity hospitals and those who go for a paid birth in a regular hospital usually do not have problems. However, it is still necessary to discuss everything in advance with your attending physician, and possibly the head of the department, so that problems do not arise at a crucial moment.

It should be noted that charging a separate fee for the presence of the husband during childbirth is absolutely illegal (in accordance with the sameArticle 51 paragraph 2. “...The exercise of this right is carried out without charging a fee to the child’s father or other family member.”)

Those who give birth normally may experience problems. Hospital staff, brought up on the old system of obstetric care, when outsiders were not allowed to attend the birth or even visit them, have difficulty adapting to the idea of ​​​​the presence of another person in the delivery room. However, by law they are obliged to allow a partner to give birth if the woman wishes, so if they refuse you, you have the right to insist.

Here are a few simple things to do before you go to the hospital:

Once you have chosen a maternity hospital, contact them and let them know that you want a loved one to be present at your birth. If there are no problems with this in a given maternity hospital, you will be told what steps will need to be taken.

First, you will need to find out what tests you need to take. At a minimum, the woman’s exchange card must include information that the future father has undergone fluorography. As already mentioned, they also take an analysis for the most dangerous infections and sometimes also a certificate from a therapist stating that he examined the husband and did not find any dangerous health problems. Sometimes the clinic also requests other tests, which must be taken in advance at your place of residence or in the outpatient department of the maternity hospital.

If you give birth under compulsory medical insurance, then with the onset of labor, dad goes to the emergency department of the maternity hospital, where he changes into clean clothes and shoes and then goes up to the maternity ward. In some places, an application to be present at birth is also required, sometimes it also requires the signature of the head doctor of the maternity hospital (naturally, it is better to sign such an application in advance; check the requirement for this application when calling the maternity hospital).

What happens after childbirth?

The husband or other visitor is with the woman in labor at all times, leaving the ward only at will, by mutual agreement or in emergency circumstances.

After the birth, dad can stay with mom. He, of course, remains in a regular ward only for a short time after the birth. However, some hospitals have a family room where dad can stay with his wife until discharge.

Bottom line

That's all. In fact, despite the apparent complexity of the registration, most visitors at the birth do not need anything other than a change of clothes and a minimum of tests. Recently, more and more families are deciding to give birth together, and the father’s desire to be present at the birth of his child is no longer perceived as a strange whim. In any case, remember that if you decide to give birth together, you have every right to do so.

During childbirth, most women feel emotionally uncomfortable, and many feel anxious. Primipara women feel it especially acutely. Even the best medical staff cannot replace the support of a loved one, therefore, today many women want to give birth together with their husband. However, before you decide to take such a step, you need to weigh everything carefully.

Partner births. How can a man help during childbirth?

The presence of a husband gives a woman psychological confidence that everything will be fine. For the man himself, being present at the birth gives him the opportunity to feel like a father a few minutes (not days) after the birth of the child. It should be taken into account that partner childbirth will be successful only if the spouses have a trusting and close relationship. In cases where future parents do not understand each other well, there is no point in taking risks, because at such a crucial moment in the life of mother and child, disagreements are simply not acceptable.

During childbirth, a man can do the following:

1. Provide psychological assistance to a woman. Support her in every possible way and ensure peace of mind;
2. Help relieve pain. It will be useful, together with the expectant mother, to attend courses for pregnant women, which will show various movements, positions and massage techniques that will relieve pain during contractions;
3. Treats what is happening with understanding, that is, behaves correctly during different periods of childbirth. During labor, help from the father is the key to a woman’s psychological peace, however, from the moment the pushing begins, many mothers ask their husbands to leave the maternity ward. If a woman asks for this, the man must immediately fulfill her request. And no disputes or insults! All the same, during pushing, the medical staff plays the main role, and dad can only be an outside observer.
4. Being close to your wife and newborn baby after childbirth. A woman after childbirth is very weak, so caring for a newborn can be a serious challenge for her. In addition, caring for a newborn from the first moments of life, a deep psychological connection is formed between father and child for life.

Partner births. What is needed for this?

If a man has been preparing for the upcoming birth with a woman throughout the entire pregnancy, then his presence at the birth is absolutely natural. Such men are not indifferent to what will happen to his wife, how she will feel. However, there are times when the expectant father wants to be present at the birth, but the woman objects to this. In such cases, the man must give in, because the main thing is that the expectant mother feels calm and confident during childbirth.

In developed countries, partner childbirth has long become commonplace. In our country, most maternity hospitals also allow and even encourage the presence of the future father at the birth. Exceptions are cases where urgent surgery or caesarean section is necessary.

If future parents decide to have a partner birth, they need to find out what tests their spouse should take. As a rule, future dads should undergo fluorography and undergo a bacteriological culture for staphylococcus from the nose and throat. Other tests may be ordered. Also, each maternity hospital has special requirements for the future father, the presence of which should be known in advance.

The birth of a child is a big event not only for a woman, but also for a man, so you should not deprive yourself of the opportunity to help your beloved woman at such a difficult moment. In addition, the presence of the father at the birth creates an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding, which the newly born baby will certainly feel.

Every year, the presence of a husband during the birth of a child is becoming more and more popular. This practice is relatively new and raises a lot of questions. However, there are quite a lot of supporters of partner childbirth. Can my husband be present at the birth? How to prepare for this process? How is it like having a baby with your dad? The answers to these questions are further in the article.

What is partner childbirth and how to get permission for it

Partner birth is the process of giving birth to a child, which is accompanied by the presence of a partner in the delivery room.

As a rule, the husband is most often the partner, but you can take along your mother, mother-in-law, sister and any other relative with whom you want to share this moment.

From a psychological point of view, partner childbirth plays an important role in bringing spouses closer together and in the relationship between child and father.

The birth of a child in the presence of relatives is a new phenomenon for maternity hospitals, so in some provincial perinatal centers they sometimes refuse this service, because there are no special rooms.

Modern legislation stipulates that this service should be free, but often it is included in the “paid package” of childbirth.

In order to obtain permission for partner childbirth, you must:

• consent of the husband or other partner;
• a statement from the expectant mother, certified by the signature of the chief physician or deputy of the perinatal center;
• test results of a relative for AIDS, syphilis, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, fluorography.
• the husband must have with him a set of clean change of clothes and shoes;
• It is necessary to undergo training in joint childbirth or independently.

In order to attend the birth together with the expectant mother, it is enough to provide the necessary health documents and an application addressed to the head physician.

Psychological preparation is not a mandatory step, but skipping it is not recommended. The partner must be prepared for what he is about to see.

How to prepare for a partner birth

Preparation for a partner birth consists of several stages:

• mutual decision and agreement;
• psychological preparation;
• confirmation of health status.

The consent of both parties to be present together during childbirth is a fundamental issue. You definitely need to discuss with your husband all the pros and cons of giving birth together. And only after that make a decision and the possibility of his presence.

Sometimes women try to convince their husband to be with her at the time of the birth of the child through manipulation and pressure. This is obviously a wrong step. A man may not be psychologically ready to see this process and this will become a serious test for him.

If the spouse at the first stage agreed to a partner birth, then you need to thoroughly study the process of childbirth and prepare for it.

Currently, there are a large number of benefits for joint childbirth. This could be a book, brochure, video, or school training for young parents.

It is advisable to study the real stories of those couples who have already gone through this.

It is worth paying special attention to what men say about childbirth, who have already been with their wife in the process of bringing a child into the world.

Confirmation of health status requires passing a mandatory medical examination. It includes tests for sexually transmitted diseases, hepatitis, and fluorography.

Sometimes a physician's opinion on admission to the maternity ward is required.

Necessary examination of a partner for admission

Each perinatal center provides its own list of tests that the husband must undergo before being present at the birth of the baby.

Typically these include:

• fluorography;
• blood test for syphilis;
• blood test for AIDS and HIV;
• hepatitis B test;
• blood test for hepatitis C;
• analysis for staphylococcus;
• therapist's conclusion.

This list may be more or less, so the expectant mother must check it with the maternity hospital.

Benefits of joint birth

The presence of the husband at the birth has a number of advantages over the usual birth of a child:

1. The expectant mother feels more confident and protected in the presence of her husband or other relatives. In turn, this relieves muscle tension, and they stretch more easily.
2. As a rule, doctors behave more kindly in the presence of a husband.
3. The husband provides direct assistance to the woman in labor during the first stage of labor. He records the time between uterine contractions, performs massage, and assists in organizing proper breathing.
4. The father has the opportunity to be the first to hold the newborn child in his arms. This often forms a very strong emotional bond between them.

In addition to the positive aspects, it is worth paying attention to the negative aspects of childbirth with your husband:

1. A woman’s embarrassment due to her unaesthetic appearance during childbirth.
2. Sometimes a man is not ready to see this process even after a joint decision. In such situations, a man can experience severe stress, lose consciousness, and experience disgust.
3. Sometimes partner births become the cause of future problems in the intimate life of spouses.

The role of the husband during joint childbirth

Many argue that a man or other relatives should not be with a woman in labor, because they will only interfere with medical personnel. This opinion is wrong.

Partner assistance during childbirth:

• moral support for a woman;
• help maintain contact between the doctor and the laboring woman;
• protecting the interests of women and children;
• providing natural pain relief techniques in the form of massage and breathing;
• assistance in caring for a newborn baby.

How does a partner birth work?

In order to provide all the necessary assistance in full, you need to know how partner childbirth takes place.

They include 3 periods:

1. Start of contractions. At this stage, it is recommended to actively change your position, choosing the one in which the painful sensations appear less. It is not recommended to lie down for a long time, because... this slows down the process. During this period, the partner can provide active assistance in the form of massage and moral support.
2. Start pushing. open the active phase of fetal expulsion. At this point, the woman should take a position so that the obstetricians can comfortably deliver the baby. If desired, during this period the husband can leave the delivery room and return after the baby is born. After the baby is born, the spouse can cut the umbilical cord and take the newborn in his arms.
3. Birth of the placenta. At this moment, the woman no longer feels severe pain. The process takes place under the supervision of doctors. Dad can go out or be with the child.

In situations where a complication occurs during the delivery process or is required, the partner is asked to leave the delivery room.

Numerous psychological and medical studies have shown that some men are better off refraining from being present during the birth of a child. You should not go to childbirth with your wife if:

1. There are bad or difficult relationships between the spouses in the family. In such a situation, instead of the expected support, a woman may receive an outburst of negativity and irritation.
2. The spouses are not officially married. In this case, the woman’s sense of instability may worsen and conflict may arise.
3. A man does not perceive the sight of blood, does not tolerate pain and other medical situations that are devoid of aesthetics. In such a situation, the spouse may behave inappropriately and interfere with the process.
4. The man is a dictator. Most likely, a woman in such a situation will not receive support, but instructions and instructions on what she is doing wrong.

If one of the listed phenomena is present in the family, then partner childbirth is not the best solution. You should not expect that a bad relationship with your husband will improve after his stay at the birth. Most likely, the woman will be disappointed and the problem will worsen.

Partner birth is a modern trend in perinatal practice. They are quite important aspects of building family relationships and strengthening the bond between father and child.

In order for the process to be successful and leave only tender memories, you need to know well what is needed for a partner birth and prepare for it.

If your spouse is not ready to participate in this event, you should not insist or put pressure on him. Only a joint decision and voluntary desire will make this process successful.

Useful video: partner childbirth - what exactly the husband needs to do during childbirth

When, after graduating from college, the guys tried to persuade me to go kayaking, I, like a mossy city dweller, at first resisted. Then I thought: am I not a man, or what? It was the same with the presence of the wife in the ward during childbirth. I just said to myself at some point: I’m kind of like a representative of the stronger sex! If women can handle it, I can handle it too.

Roundtrip

By the time Lena started having real contractions, the process of getting ready for the maternity hospital had both become automatic. Because quite weak “harbingers” have appeared several times already. And every time at night. My missus pushed me away at the very moment when I was dreaming of something especially interesting, and, widening her eyes, said in a tragic whisper: “That’s it! I’m giving birth!” And I, yawning and bumping into walls, packed slippers, a toothbrush and cigarettes. We warmed up the car, drove to the maternity hospital, woke up everyone we could... So what? The contractions have subsided, there is no dilatation, and I, quietly gnashing my teeth, am taking the cheerful, cheerful Lenka back home. Not life, but the work of Mr. Tolkien: “The Hobbit, or There and Back Again.”

And now she once again begins to “give birth”, I automatically deliver her to her destination, mentally preparing to take her back. But instead of a cheerful wife, a busy young midwife comes out of the examination room: “Three fingers dilated, the water has just broken. Call your doctor."

And now we are already in the room - waiting for the doctor to arrive. Not a trace of Lenka’s cheerfulness remained: she turned pale, her lips were shaking. And in contrast, I have a surge of unhealthy gaiety. He started talking nonsense and telling jokes. In the end he made his wife laugh until she cried. When our doctor entered the room, Lena was jumping on the fitball and laughing. They didn’t even immediately believe us that we had actually started giving birth.

Inhale-exhale

When the contractions became more frequent, it became no laughing matter. Lena and I walked around the room and breathed in chorus at the doctor’s command: one-two-three-four - inhale; one-two-three-four-five-six – exhale. From time to time she stopped and grabbed my elbow with a death grip: a contraction. I hugged her, rubbed her place below the waist - the sacrum; supposedly this should make the pain less painful. Lena squeaked slightly, somehow shrank all over and bit her lips. Then she was released, and we hit the road again: inhale-exhale, inhale-exhale. We took a break: the doctor gave her some kind of suppository, supposedly to soften the cervix. She checked the dilation and told me to walk around some more.

We walked and walked, and suddenly my wife seemed all twisted. She lay down on the couch and said, “I’m thirsty.” The doctor shakes his head: you can’t drink now. And he gives me a wooden stick, the kind you use to eat ice cream, and on it a cotton swab moistened with water to lubricate your lips. “Give me something to drink!” – Lena wheezes. Well, I think because of the Gestapo, they don’t give water to a person. He began to wet her lips; seems to have quieted down. But not for long. Soon the contractions came one after another; my wife tightly grabbed my shoulder with her fingers (the bruises remained!) and moaned quietly. The doctor looked at her again and said: “Let’s get into the chair, let’s start now.”

"I'm afraid!"

Helped her climb onto this “throne”. I can’t imagine how pregnant women with their bellies, and even during fierce contractions, get there without the help of their husbands. I practically lifted Lenka onto the chair in my arms. The doctor kept repeating: “Don’t even try to sit down, you’ll sit on the child’s head!” And Lena, in my opinion, didn’t care anymore whether she was sitting, lying down, or hanging upside down.

They settled her on a chair, and the midwife ran up. I was placed at the head of the bed, and the doctor and midwife stood at Lena’s feet. Another thought flashed through my mind - what a funny pose my wife has: in life she wouldn’t hurt a fly, but here she rested one foot on the doctor, the other on the midwife, as if she was going to kick.

“The dilation is good,” says the doctor. “You should push three times in one contraction.” And I must say, I read so much literature about this “push”, and still didn’t really understand what was going on. But standing by the chair, I seemed to feel something. Maybe the doctor and midwife were portraying well, maybe there is a special magic in the maternity rooms... From the outside, everything probably looked quite funny: it seemed like one woman was giving birth, and four were pushing - inhaling deeply, holding their breath, turning red, bulging their eyes... And one one of them, mind you, is a man.

And then Lena screams: “I’m afraid!” The doctor and midwife began to fuss. I’m standing there, whispering in her ear something like “everything will be fine, don’t worry,” and suddenly I hear: “The headache is gone!” While Lena was so loudly afraid, our baby's head was born! I immediately looked “over there”, and there was something round and black...

Red hero

Then everything happened pretty quickly. My wife somehow immediately came to life, tensed up - and now they showed me this wet little lump. They don’t even show you, they just shove your manhood in your face!
“Man,” I say.
“It’s a boy,” the midwife corrects offendedly.
-Why is he so red? - I ask.
- He's pink! – the doctor is indignant.
But no. Maybe in their medical language this color is called pink. I declare with full responsibility that my son immediately after birth was quite red. And huge! That is, it seemed small to me, but after weighing it turned out - four three hundred, although my wife is by no means a giantess.

Lena looked so happy! Tired, disheveled, but so happy! And beautiful, like Madonna. That is, not beautiful in the sense that even now at a social event, but as if glowing from within, so a little magical, so dear. And all mine. And when they put our boy on her stomach, pressed her to her chest, and without thinking twice he smacked his lips, I, frankly, burst into tears.

P.S

According to doctors, this was not all. They explained something to Lena about the third stage of labor, about the placenta that was about to be born, about the fact that she needed to push again. But, in my opinion, she did not listen to them - she lay there with such a blissful look, like a cat who had secretly eaten sour cream. I was strictly asked to influence my wife. I stood at her head again - the baby was just being examined by a pediatrician - and tried to push again with her. Lena did something like that and broke into a happy smile: “No, nothing’s working out...”
In short, no matter how hard she strained, under my guidance, under the sensitive gaze of doctors, no placenta came out. The doctor said that in this case the baby’s place would have to be removed under anesthesia. Our baby was temporarily sent to the children's department, promising his wife that he would lie with her in the postpartum ward, and I was told to “take a walk somewhere.” I went out into the corridor - and only then did I realize how badly I wanted to smoke! Even my hands were shaking. I caught the first sister I came across, explained the situation - they say, I was present at the birth, I was tired, where did they smoke. She looked up at me with such respect, with which they probably look at heroes who have accomplished a feat - and took me to the courtyard...

What can I say? It’s nonsense that childbirth is not a man’s business. To support your beloved woman in the most difficult moment, to be close to her - isn’t this worthy of a man? And the moment when I held my son in my arms - even before my wife! – was probably the most beautiful thing in my life.

Magazine “I Want a Child”, Narrated by Sergey B.

I asked the daddies on the forum:

Dear dads! Please tell us about your impressions of being present at the birth of your babies. Is it worth dragging your husband to the birth? Are there anyone who regretted going there? This information will be extremely useful for us, future mothers and fathers. Thank you!

1. Oh, how many times have I already talked about childbirth with my wife. But at the “request of the workers” I will repeat my story. I walked, didn’t faint, I think I was useful. I cut the umbilical cord (of which I am modestly proud). There was no trance. If there is a next child, we will go to give birth together again. All my close friends (about 5 people) gave birth with their wives. Everyone has strong families, no one got divorced. They (friends) love to talk among men about how “they” gave birth. In a word - who was cooler? And the first moments of a baby in this world are an incomparable experience. I'm glad I didn't miss it. In conclusion, I note that in many nations women have long given birth to men. Finnish women, for example, gave birth on their husband's lap. Well, where can you run for a midwife if you live on a remote farm and work from dawn to dusk? Well, never mind, they gave birth. So this is not a new invention, but a centuries-old tradition. Keshin's dad

2. Advice from a dad who gave birth together with his wife - The impressions are very different, the hardest thing is to watch when your loved one is having contractions, but when the actual process itself is already underway - it’s easier, it seems like the light is already visible at the end of the tunnel :) Basically, wife She said that I helped her a lot. For example, I don’t remember driving home after giving birth. So it’s up to you... Personally, I would advise you to think twice about the decision to give birth together.

3. The impressions are strong. But we gave birth not in a maternity hospital, but at home with a midwife, so my participation was necessary and very active. :) I worked as a nurse, a husband, support in every sense, a massager, a stool, a hanger (for my wife, not for clothes)... I worked hard, but we all (especially the wife) got a lot from it. :) And to be present... If you don’t know what to do and how to help, stand helplessly and watch what the doctors are doing? IMPORTANT, screw it, it’s better to do something useful at home. Here the question needs to be posed differently - if your wife needs it, and you are ready to support her, and even more so you know how and with what - then of course yes... Ivan Ionov

4. Ruslan:“I already have two children, and I was not at the birth. I wouldn't want to be present and see all the details. Otherwise, I will treat my wife differently and will not touch her again. And what excites me there will be in a slightly different form.”

5. We gave birth together. At first I didn’t feel much enthusiasm for the idea of ​​going together, rather the opposite. The situation was changed for the better by excerpts from the forum that Galya read to me - first of all, that my presence would force doctors to be extremely attentive and do everything in a modern and proper way, and that she would like this from the point of view that “she It will be very difficult and scary if there are only strangers around.” And in the second, oddly enough, there is another passage “that there is no need to insist on presence, and that this should be decided by the husband.” After that, I finally calmed down and made a decision that I absolutely do not regret. Moreover, I can no longer imagine that I could practically leave my wife alone at a difficult moment for her (and this can probably be called that way if the wife wants her husband’s presence). Although we probably also have to start from the nerves of men, fear of blood, etc. (they say there are some who are afraid. In general, I’ll sum it up - if your wife wants your presence, and you have enough nerves for this, go together.

6. It all depends on how strong your husband’s psyche is and what kind of relationship you have. I can tell you about my experience. I was with my wife during the birth, almost from beginning to end. At the sight of needles, scissors, blood, etc. nothing shakes in me, I don’t faint. The worst thing for me is the torment of a loved one, the fact that nothing can be done... If I had been waiting in the corridor, I would have gone crazy from the unknown. And so - still nearby, even if he pressed the call button, held him by the shoulders, ran to wet the gauze with cold water, tried to help in any way he could. All this is trivial, of course, but what can you do, men are not given the opportunity to give birth. I’m glad that I was at the birth, that I immediately took Danya into my arms – I could barely hold back my tears. And relationships are much more affected by everyday life, housing issues, etc. Whether or not your husband is present at the birth must be decided by two people - you and your husband. No violence, imposition, maximum openness - this way you will avoid possible “cons”.

7. I was also dissuaded, they said that you wouldn’t see anything good there, and psychological problems might arise. I did not agree with all the advisers and was present at the birth, helped, which I do not regret at all. There is nothing scary, dirty or anything like that there. Everything is quite natural and normal. There are no traces of any psychological problems. He began to treat his wife even better. So, if you really want it, then why not.