Mom's pride: my child is an excellent student. Is this always a reason for joy? Do you have to be an excellent student? — Is every child capable of achieving success?
Olesya, thank you for your comment. Let's try to separate two different concepts - the volume of tasks and the obligation to complete them.
Children may be given different amounts of work on different days. As a rule, towards the end of the working week, on the weekends they are given a little less work than usual, because... Children get tired and there is no point in setting impossible tasks for them; material on a tired body, of course, is poorly absorbed. Sometimes, at the discretion of the teacher, different amounts are given - they didn’t have time to study something in class, so they gave it home a little more than yesterday... There are no particularly strict rules, and the human factor always takes place.
Another thing is whether it is necessary to complete tasks... There is no single approach - each teacher has his own tactics for organizing the educational process. In our school, in the first grade, parents were allowed not to do homework if the child was very tired... we were asked not to “put pressure” on the children...
But there is one caveat! Children MUST have an explanation of what is happening! “You are so tired that you are not able to complete your assignments. I will let you rest today, but know that tomorrow the teacher can still ask you in class and scold you for uncompleted assignments! Therefore, let this be a single exception.” Now I tell my daughter this: “You must decide for yourself whether to do your homework, and HOW to do it. Because you will learn the result of your efforts tomorrow in class. Failure, as well as success, depends only on you!” This very well develops a sense of responsibility in the child)))
Some psychologists argue that sometimes a child should be allowed to fail homework so that he understands what consequences follow from this (reproach from the teacher, bad grades, misunderstanding of the material covered, etc.). But, you see, there are children who don’t care whether they scold them or not, the main thing is that if you want, you can do your homework, or you don’t have to...
Therefore, I personally am against such tactics. Once I allowed my daughter not to do her homework in the first grade (she forgot about them, got too busy playing, and only remembered closer to night, when she had to go to bed). I felt sorry for her child’s body, which needed to rest, and not do homework, looking at the night. My cunning daughter quickly realized that this tactic could be used in the future. And subsequently, similar situations began to arise - she was stalling for time until the bitter end and before going to bed she remembered that she had forgotten to do her homework... I had to use a harsh method - force her to do her homework until one in the morning and instill in the conversation that from now on there will be no more connivance.
It is best to teach children to be responsible in relation to their lessons in kindergarten or in preparatory courses before school. It is the parents who must show the importance and significance of fulfilling the tasks assigned to the child. In the garden they give various tasks - as a rule, these are crafts for exhibitions jointly with parents. During the preparatory courses we were also given small homework assignments.
In the school educational process, the role of parents is not limited to just keeping track of grades in the diary or determining whether the teacher is good or bad! Of course, we are the first to teach our children to study!
Organize your child’s daily routine so that there is mandatory time for doing homework, and control this process! Good luck to you!))))
The question often arises: how to make an excellent student out of a child or, in other words, is it the parents’ merit that their son or daughter is an excellent student? It must be admitted that there are not so many children who would treat their studies exclusively responsibly without special instructions from adults. Basically, those children whose parents have made some efforts to achieve this become excellent students. And the point here, as you understand, is not at all about the fact that they were looking for an approach to teachers, but about the fact that they tried to give their child a good knowledge base even before school, and most importantly, they instilled perseverance in him!
Patience and independence are the key to success in studies
If you look at the statistics on the performance of primary and secondary school students, you will notice a certain pattern: there are more excellent students among junior schoolchildren than among high school students! Where did those smart kids who showed great promise go? It’s simple: neither they nor their parents had enough patience, who over time weakened control over how their children completed their homework and what grades they received from school. This means that parents who want to see their children excel are faced with a difficult task: on the one hand, the child must be controlled, and on the other hand, this must be done unobtrusively, so that the little schoolchild gets used to the idea that homework must be completed regardless of whether they are checked parents or not; that he needs to get good grades because this is the “norm”, and not because he will be especially praised or scolded for it.
The child must have motivation
If for us, adults, it is so important that our work is appreciated financially or at least marked with praise, then what can we say about children: it is very important to motivate them to achieve excellent grades. Attitudes can be the following: “you must be the best”, “you must be an excellent student”, “you will succeed”, “we should be proud of you”, “you cannot let us down”, “we believe in you” and so on . Gradually, the child will get used to the idea that, no matter how difficult it is for him, no matter how much he sometimes wants to be lazy and not prepare for lessons, he should not let his parents down!
Books, books and more books
If children grow up in a reading family, we can assume that for parents the question of how to raise an excellent student and what to do specifically for this has already been almost resolved. A child brought up in such an atmosphere will read a lot himself, which means he will know a lot! He will be an order of magnitude ahead of his non-reading classmates: his oral answers will be distinguished by depth, breadth and expressiveness; written work will be literate not only because he has learned by heart all the rules of spelling and punctuation - his visual memory will not allow him to make a mistake, because when reading books, he automatically remembers the spelling of many words, including dictionary words that do not follow the rules.
The status of an excellent student obliges you to always be on top
Parents need to try to make every effort on their part in the first years of school: to teach their child to learn. What does this include? The child must complete all homework, including oral; his notebooks, diary, textbooks - everything should be in exemplary order; During lessons he must always be collected, attentive and actively work. If a child gets used to being among the best students in the class, he will do his best to maintain the image of an excellent student: ambition will not allow him to study worse!
The question often arises: how to make an excellent student out of a child or, in other words, is it the parents’ merit that their son or daughter is an excellent student? It must be admitted that there are not so many children who would treat their studies exclusively responsibly without special instructions from adults. Basically, those children whose parents have made some efforts to achieve this become excellent students. And the point here, as you understand, is not at all about the fact that they were looking for an approach to teachers, but about the fact that they tried to give their child a good knowledge base even before school, and most importantly, they instilled perseverance in him!
Patience and independence are the key to success in studies
If you look at the statistics on the performance of primary and secondary school students, you will notice a certain pattern: there are more excellent students among junior schoolchildren than among high school students! Where did those smart kids who showed great promise go? It’s simple: neither they nor their parents had enough patience, who over time weakened control over how their children completed their homework and what grades they received from school. This means that parents who want to see their children excel are faced with a difficult task: on the one hand, the child must be controlled, and on the other hand, this must be done unobtrusively, so that the little schoolchild gets used to the idea that homework must be completed regardless of whether they are checked parents or not; that he needs to get good grades because this is the “norm”, and not because he will be especially praised or scolded for it.
The child must have motivation
If for us, adults, it is so important that our work is appreciated financially or at least marked with praise, then what can we say about children: it is very important to motivate them to achieve excellent grades. Attitudes can be the following: “you must be the best”, “you must be an excellent student”, “you will succeed”, “we should be proud of you”, “you cannot let us down”, “we believe in you” and so on . Gradually, the child will get used to the idea that, no matter how difficult it is for him, no matter how much he sometimes wants to be lazy and not prepare for lessons, he should not let his parents down!
Books, books and more books
If children grow up in a reading family, we can assume that for parents the question of how to raise an excellent student and what to do specifically for this has already been almost resolved. A child brought up in such an atmosphere will read a lot himself, which means he will know a lot! He will be an order of magnitude ahead of his non-reading classmates: his oral answers will be distinguished by depth, breadth and expressiveness; written work will be literate not only because he has learned by heart all the rules of spelling and punctuation - his visual memory will not allow him to make a mistake, because when reading books, he automatically remembers the spelling of many words, including dictionary words that do not follow the rules.
The status of an excellent student obliges you to always be on top
Parents need to try to make every effort on their part in the first years of school: to teach their child to learn. What does this include? The child must complete all homework, including oral; his notebooks, diary, textbooks - everything should be in exemplary order; During lessons he must always be collected, attentive and actively work. If a child gets used to being among the best students in the class, he will do his best to maintain the image of an excellent student: ambition will not allow him to study worse!
Photobank lori.ru
The workload on children in schools has recently increased, and maintaining the high status of an excellent student is becoming more difficult. How to ensure good grades in the diary without forcing your child to sit in tears over homework and without developing an aversion to studying “under pressure”? There are several “guerrilla” methods.
Green ink method
This rarely happened with my essays, dictations and tests, but I still shudder when I remember the teacher’s generous strokes in red ink. I remember that teachers at our school usually wrote marks in the diary with blue ink, but “twos” (and sometimes “threes”) always used red ink. It feels like they wanted to focus our attention on failures: “I was wrong!”
Photobank lori.ru
Tatyana Ivanko, a famous mother on the Internet who runs a blog about raising children, practically did not take her daughter to an early development school, preferring to study with her at home on her own. Checking how her daughter drew hooks, circles and other shapes in her notebook, Tatyana used green paste instead of the classic red paste. She did not highlight the mistakes, but, on the contrary, circled the hooks that her daughter worked best with the words “Perfect”, etc.
According to Tatyana, when a child’s attention is focused not on mistakes, but on what was done well, he receives completely different emotions, a charge of motivation, and wants to do what he does well again and again. Developing love instead of aversion to learning is just the tip of the iceberg. The ability to focus on successes and not worry about mistakes will most likely help you to endure difficult situations and move towards your goal, no matter what, in your entire subsequent life.
To be or to seem?
People are subjective, and school teachers are no exception. There is one old educational film - “Me and Others”. It shows several experiments, during one of which students are shown a photograph of a man and asked to create a psychological portrait of him. The photo is always the same, but students are given different introductory information. The experimenter tells some participants that the photo is a repeat offender, while others introduce the man as a famous scientist. As a result, psychological portraits vary greatly - from “a cunning and ruthless sadist” to “a nice person who probably loves children.”
An excellent student often has the same “psychological portrait.” Teachers have their own favorites in their classes - their failures and incorrect answers are often attributed to overwork, illness, or “the wrong day.” There are also so-called chronic losers - the correct answer of such a child at the board can be perceived as “you guessed right” or “the task was easy.”
Photobank lori.ru
I’m exaggerating a little, but similar phenomena are often observed within the walls of schools. And the parent is exactly the person who can influence them. A big role is played by how you communicate with the teacher, how you present your child, what image you create. We are not talking about completely compensating for the lack of knowledge with good relationships with teachers, it’s just that the student begins to look different in the eyes of the teacher, and gets a higher chance of realizing his potential.
Your child needs a goal
The ancient Greek myth of Sisyphus tells of the cruel and senseless punishment to which the founder and king of Corinth was subjected in the kingdom of shadows. Sisyphus had to roll a huge stone to the top of the mountain over and over again, after which it would immediately fall down.
“Sisyphean labor” is a phrase that is often used to describe meaningless work with no purpose. This is how many children perceive school. Why do you need to get up early in the morning, go to school, sit in your pants at your desk, and do boring homework in the evening?
If you want to interest and motivate your child and make him strive for good grades, show him the goal. Let him know what all the efforts are for, what he strives for. A good goal is admission to a prestigious university, the opportunity to master a desired profession in the future. Let the child understand that he is taking the first step right now, calculating the discriminant in his algebra homework.
Photobank lori.ru
More mundane targets will also work. Does your child want a new bike or roller skates? Let him close the school year for “four” and “five” for this purpose.
The power of self-education
They say that the best way to become an erudite and versatile person is to travel more. You can get a lot of knowledge from school textbooks, but they are often dry and boring. It’s one thing to read about the feat of Minin and Pozharsky, and quite another to see a monument to two heroes on Red Square, or look at real chain mail of those times in a museum. Knowledge takes on colors and becomes interesting when it is alive, you can look at it and touch it.
Photobank lori.ru
It has been proven that a person remembers information that is interesting to him better and more willingly. The child needs to be taken more often to museums, zoos and other places where he can learn about the world in a fun way. You should not limit yourself to the school curriculum, reading paragraphs “from now to now.” It is much more valuable to instill in a child a love of self-education - then the school curriculum will be easier.
I consider my physics teacher Yuri Mikhailovich Afonin to be one of my best school teachers. This extraordinary person taught our class not only his subject, but also how to perceive the learning process itself. We came to learn Newton’s second law, and received a wealth of knowledge that still helps us in life.
Once, on the day of the test, Yuri Mikhailovich asked me: “Well, did you teach?” To my affirmative answer, he shook his head with displeasure: “But there’s no need to teach. You need to understand." This idea ran like a red thread through all our physics lessons, and now I feel its value more and more. Photo bank lori.ru
In my opinion, it is this approach to learning that allows you to present knowledge in the most interesting, easy form, often in the form of a game. And it will be much easier for a child to learn them than a set of incomprehensible numbers and facts.
Raising an excellent student is not easy. But first you need to answer the question: “Why?” Very often parents pursue their own personal goals. They are trying to realize their own dreams through a child. Being an excellent student is a serious burden. And it has long been proven that “A” in the diary does not affect success in adult life.
It should also be noted that there are always exceptions. Families of illiterate people produce children endowed with enormous talent and learning abilities. Or in the family of professors, the kids bring C's from school with minuses. Therefore, each child must initially have an individual approach. And if studying was easy for you, then you should not assume that your children will not have problems learning the material.
Under no circumstances should you force your little student to sit day and night over textbooks. The educational process, first of all, should arouse interest. And, of course, homework should never be accompanied by shouting, scandals and threats. Even if you want with all your might to raise a real excellent student, pressure on your part will only harm the child. You run the risk of permanently discouraging him from studying, and in addition, such a situation in the house can provoke the onset of childhood depression. Therefore, study is study, and the child’s state of mind should always be in balance.
Don't forget about nutrition. A small body needs fruits and vegetables, and meat and fish. Avoid school breakfast cereals and sandwiches. Otherwise, it will be difficult for the child to concentrate his attention and learn new material. In addition, the little student needs to be in the fresh air as often as possible and get a good night's sleep. Even if he did not have time to do his homework, he should not be allowed to sit with textbooks until 12 at night or later. Create a daily routine that all family members must follow.
Sometimes many parents try to bribe their child. Of course, money or gifts always serve as a good motivation for children, as well as for adults. But here we are talking about the fact that such “salary can spoil the character and implant the wrong priorities in the subconscious” of the child. It is completely wrong to tell him that for every task he learns he will receive a chocolate bar, and if he does not skip class, then two. Very soon the child will feel that he can easily manipulate his parents. In this case, all the work will be nullified.
But there is another way of material motivation. Try setting a price for ratings. So, a “five” in a quarter costs, say, 100 rubles. Here we are talking about small amounts, so that the child knows the value of money and understands how hard it is to earn it himself. The student has a choice whether to study or not. And this choice is only his. When the quarter is over, the little future excellent student receives his salary. With this money he can buy himself a gift. It is advisable that during the quarter itself, mothers and fathers do not give the baby various toys. Then his new purchase will be even more desirable, and a stronger motivation to study will be formed. Soon the child will no longer work for gifts, but to maintain his reputation as an excellent student. But carefully monitor the situation so that it does not get out of control.
Never do your child's homework. He must deal with it himself. But at the same time, if he cannot find a solution to a problem, help him. Make sure that your control over your child’s progress is constant, but unobtrusive. If you notice that your child is having difficulty learning or understanding any subject at school, be sure to hire a tutor.
Don’t forget that sometimes “threes” or even “twos” will still appear in the diary. You cannot scold a child for them. It is necessary to find the reason for their appearance. So, perhaps, a new teacher appeared at school or a quarrel arose in class with a classmate. Sometimes a topic in a lesson is presented in such a way that it is incomprehensible to the child. The most important thing is that the child retains the desire to learn, in which case, soon, with an orderly step, the “fives” will again enter the pages of his diary. Good luck!