If you can't forget a person for a long time. Psychologists have explained why it is so difficult for us to forget our exes. We forgive. First of all, yourself. Making peace with the past
I believe that if feelings do not go away, then you are leaving clues for yourself - the illusion of reciprocity on the part of the other person. If the brain thinks about a person who is indifferent to you, then this is not just like that: there is hope of getting something. But as soon as you understand (understand not just at the level of reason, but feel) for yourself the unpleasant truth that they do not love you, and, perhaps, even experience hostility, how all love will burst like a soap bubble.
My answer will be banal and boring.
You won't be able to forget. Not at all. Of course, if you have memory problems or get Alzheimer’s disease (not pain), then you can forget, and not only him.
So, what you need now is to weaken your attachment to this person. How to do it? When I had unrequited love and blah blah blah, I went to work and study. You need to force yourself to think only about those two things above, it will become easier.
If it doesn’t help, and this won’t help fully, then your next step is to be around people. Constantly communicate with new or old people and friends. Have fun, dance, sing, if you can’t have fun, then share with a close friend how bad you feel, be sad. Helps.
But the main thing you need to make things easier is time.
Only it will cure your pure love, erase the person who rejected you from your memory into dust.
Don't be sad, you are not alone in this matter. 🙂
Clearly understand that he does not love you. Every time thoughts about him arise, imagine a cold, indifferent, stranger, and not a dear and warm image. It is necessary. No nostalgia or pleasant memories. No thinking about past signs of attention. Bring yourself back to the idea that the person doesn’t care about you, he’s busy with his own business, and you’re worried and thinking about him. And get angry, or something. Better for yourself. It will work out because a person without your emotions - both without love and without hatred.
And don’t discuss it with friends!
Keep in mind that you are doing the right thing by staying away from him. This is the only right decision, the only way you can do it.
You're holding on, I hope? If yes, you're great. If not, then you won't forget a damn thing. Be sure to keep your distance, no contacts or correspondence, even friendly ones. Friendship later, when you cool down, if you want.
Pay attention to hobbies and friends, play sports more intensively. I made a discovery here - kickboxing works very well, it helps to shed negativity. And if this is still within the framework of intense interval training, you have no time to think about anyone at all, you concentrate on the exercise technique and breathing (and on how not to die, my God). I recommend it in general.
In general, you need to have less free time and go to bed earlier - it’s always sad at night. At the same time, you will get better sleep, and everything will be good for your body.
Get busy with your work, take on new tasks for yourself. If you get fucked properly at work, you no longer have the strength to be blue.
You will forget, in general. Hang in there. It’s hard at first, but you will definitely get out!
After the girl’s refusal, I realized that if I continued to communicate with her, see her page on VK, photos, etc., I would simply go crazy) this state could not be prolonged. Especially at first, emotions are very strong and you are tossed to and fro, feverish, and you can’t find a place for yourself.
To reduce the tension, it is best to cut off all ties with this person.
1) Delete your VK page and create a new one. Only add friends who are not related to the object of your affection. Try to contact those with whom you are connected using roundabout ways: phone call, SMS, other social networks. You don’t have to get involved at all unless there is an urgent need. Do not subscribe to general public pages so that you cannot be found if something happens. In a word, you need to lie low.
Give yourself a directive, NEVER GO TO THIS PERSON’S PAGE. The first month or two will be difficult, but then it will let you go. You can download an extension to your browser in advance that blocks the page addresses entered into it. Well, this is in case of breakdowns. I have written so much about social networks, since they are the main source of fuel for your negative emotions.
2) Talk to your best friends. You need to speak out. In the end, your pussy suffering will fuck you up) Ironicize us with your situation and your behavior. The jokes your friends make at you can also make you think and rethink your situation.
3) Look for activities that will distract you from your thoughts.
For example, I forced myself to visit a classmate. I met her neighbor. We watched all sorts of films and cartoons all night. I drank tea with different flavors. Just talking. After that, I began to move away from my depression. There is no need to isolate yourself.
4) On the Internet, watch either funny content or content that causes aggression. Helps me release my emotions.
5) Find a hobby. Sign up for a sports section.
Everyone may face a situation when they need to change their usual lifestyle, parting with a loved one. Breaking up is not easy, and it can be just as difficult to stop thinking about past relationships.
Often thoughts and worries interfere with work, doing household chores, and moving on. In this case, advice from psychologists can help.
How to forget a person you love, but he doesn’t love you?
Before you start reading the tips, you need to understand that coping with the problem will not be easy. The advice will only help if you are serious about getting rid of the oppressive state.
Some people find it easier to close themselves off and cherish unfulfilled dreams for the rest of their lives. They always complain about injustice, about the fact that nothing helps them forget their loved one.
The truth is that such people themselves do not want to forget him, blaming the wrong psychologists, environment, family. Therefore, the mood to find a way out of the current situation is an important point.
The next thing psychologists advise you to do is to think about your future behavior.
What not to do?
You should not be led by your thoughts and make decisions based on emotions. Since they may not drown out the pain, but only intensify it.
If your heart is broken, you should not:
- Plunge into a depressive state, over and over again thinking about what happened
- Trying to harm yourself, thinking about suicide
- Damage relationships with family and relatives
- Look for a replacement for your loved one as quickly as possible
These actions will not bring anything good except negativity. You don't need to waste a minute on them. Instead, psychologists advise starting to change habits.
Change for the better: three simple steps
Changing your usual lifestyle will help you get distracted. First of all, this concerns the things of the deceased person. You don’t have to throw them away, just put them in a closet or put them in the attic.
It is advisable to ask friends and acquaintances not to mention. If they consider this a reason for jokes or bullying, then you need to think about changing your environment. With new friends new experiences will come, and there will be no time left for sadness.
There is also no need to go to places that may remind you of the past and deliberately seek meetings with your ex. This will only hurt your feelings more.
You can also change:
- Hairstyle. Get a different haircut, dye your hair a bright color, contact a stylist
- Clothes. Buy an expensive branded item that you have had many dreams about. Throw away your old, worn-out business suit and replace it with a nice new one.
- Hobbies. Sign up for computer courses that were interesting at school. Take up dancing, yoga, Pilates.
- Food cravings. Start eating right or going on a diet. Receive joy from losing excess weight and improving digestion.
- Communication habits. Spend more time with your family, visit your grandmother, send a postcard to your sister.
By keeping yourself busy with something new, it will be easier to get rid of bad thoughts. You can even take a vacation and go on a trip or, on the contrary, work overtime.
If you have had a long-standing dream, now is the time to make it come true. Whether it's buying a pet or writing a cookbook.
In other words, all free time should be spent on interesting activities. But what if the image of your loved one cannot leave your head? How long does it take for this to go away?
Time cures?
How many times during your life do you hear about the miraculous effects of time? They say that it puts everything in its place, heals mental wounds, and gives a lot of opportunities. Can time help you forget your loved one? The answer from psychologists is clear - maybe.
Of course, in the first days it seems funny. Pain, despair and disappointment drown out the voice of reason. Bad thoughts are spinning in your head, and your heart feels like it’s broken into millions of pieces. Even new hobbies don't help.
In this case, you need to stop focusing on the same thing. You can do this with a pen and notebook:
- Take a notebook and write down every day on the first page for the rest of the week.
- Below them we write what we want to do at this time
- At the end of the week, we open the notebook and write down what we managed to do and what we didn’t.
- Then we write that all this happened without the participation of your loved one, that you were able to live a whole week and did a lot of useful things over the past time
You can keep such a diary until you feel relief and realize that life does not end with one failure.
You will soon realize that you are capable of achieving a lot and it is unwise to waste time on sadness.
However, if the love was unrequited, you need to act a little differently.
Unrequited love
If, you should not impose or pursue a person. You need to realize that he does not accept you, does not value you, and will never accept you.
You won’t be able to forget him right away; looking at his social networks will help at first. Over time, you will understand that he is happy without you and is not worth the wasted tears and nerves.
In addition, you can forget a person with the help of spells and prayers.
The magic of words: spells and prayers
Sometimes you just don’t have the strength to wait a long time to forget your loved one. Changes in life save him, but thoughts still return to him.
Then you can try to say a special spell or prayer. This method will work if you really believe in its effectiveness.
Conspiracies to forget the person you will never be with
With a candle
The next conspiracy needs to be said and thought about how light you will feel when you become indifferent to the object of your love.
For the conspiracy you will need to go to church and buy 13 candles. Already on the way out, turning back, say: “I give all my melancholy and sorrow to this place, let all my mental wounds go away. Amen!".
All the way home, think about a happy life without your loved one. At home, light candles and, looking at the flame, imagine a thick brick wall between you and your lover (oops).
Next, proceed to the second part of the plot: “It will be as easy for me as it always was before. I don’t accept any suffering, I save myself from all problems. The flame will burn everything bad in the soul, and clear the memory of bad thoughts. Everything will happen exactly like this. Amen. Amen. Amen". Repeat several times, then extinguish the candles and discard.
During the conspiracy, you can burn a photo of your loved one, if you have one. The ritual should be repeated after 13 days.
With photo
For this plot, you need to take a photo of a person and turn it 180 degrees. Place it in this position next to a piece of black bread. Look at the photo and say:
“God's servant (name), remain in this form.
The bread is black, stay there and not get stale.
Memories go away and don't come back.
So that I, the servant of God, forget,
How life taught me
What I used to be like.
I have such a strong feeling for the servant of God (her) (name),
Which I will forget and let go. Amen".
After this, crumble the bread and throw it to the birds. You need to repeat the spell once a day for a week.
Simple conspiracy
This is the one for which you just need to go outside at nightfall and look for any star in the sky. Looking at her, you need to say:
“So bright is this star. It burns high in the sky and does not think of disappearing. As soon as the sky begins to brighten, that star leaves and goes out forever. So my feelings burn and don’t want to go out. I wish that morning would come in my life, and all feelings would disappear from my soul, as if the stars had gone out in the sky.
May this love that is alien to me let me go. May I be open to new feelings. Just as new stars light up in the sky every night, so new feelings will light up in me. So be it. Amen".
This conspiracy has enormous power, so one pronunciation is enough for it to take effect.
Prayers
You can pray before going to bed for several days until you feel relief. To do this say:
“The dawn calmed down and left,
So I, God’s servant (name), would calm down
I didn’t grieve for (name),
Didn't cry, didn't grieve
Neither at night nor in the morning,
Not this day, not this evening.
My tears wouldn't flow
My torment would subside.
My soul would not suffer,
The zealous heart did not flutter.
A star rose to the sky,
The longing for (name) would subside.
God help me,
God bless.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".
You can use old prayers taken from your grandmother or mother. Pray to several saints, tell them about your grief.
You can also pray in your own words. Put into your prayers everything that you lack, talk about how tired you are of torturing yourself with vain hopes, how you want to find peace and happiness.
Remember that conspiracies and prayers will work if they come from the heart.
If you can’t forget a person for a long time, it means that in his heart he still won’t let you go... Do you think so too?
If you can’t forget for a long time, then you remember for a long time. The man is no good here
No, personal experience confirms this.
When you still love a person, you think about him, but he has long since given a damn about you or your feelings.
You should not engage in self-deception, justify your weakness by saying that He (She) does not let go. It’s better to allow yourself to be weak and whiny, to sob it all out so that later you feel sick from it all. It helped me.
Self-deception, he doesn’t need you for a long time. You yourself will let him go.
The most interesting thing is that he hasn’t been able to sleep or even in spirit for a long time, but you still “don’t let go”
"Not renounce loving! “If a person is dear, you think about him, you can’t forget, then there is some kind of understatement in your relationship. You just need to dot all the i's one day. What kind of self-deception is this?
Well, I really want to believe that he won’t let go
In fact, you don't let go and still hold onto the grudge.
No, this is just self-deception and low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence.
if you can't forget a person. . If you don’t want to forget him, then don’t let him go. and do and do so that he does not leave.
This means that you like to suffer and have too much free time. Well, when you’re young, this is forgivable, but with age, it’s time to stop toiling around with this bullshit, by God.
No I do not think so. This means you haven't let go yet, not him...
And if he doesn’t even suspect about your tender feelings or, God forbid, has passed on to another world, then what? No, Fairy Tale, when we cannot forget someone, it is we ourselves who do not want to let him go.
Damn, well, of course it’s self-deception. Enough with loading one person at a time.
This means it's time to look for someone else and not bother!
Source:
If you can’t forget a person for a long time, it means that in your heart he hasn’t let you go yet.
If you can’t forget a person for a long time, it means that in his heart he still won’t let you go... Do you think so too? If you can’t forget for a long time, then you remember for a long time. There is no side to the man here,
http://sprashivalka.com/tqa/q/1151727
If you can't forget a person, is this really true love?
If you can't forget him for the first time in your life. even though before this, everyone who didn’t love was forgotten - somehow they fell out of love, they didn’t want to, but if you can’t forget for the first time - is it Love?
not necessarily, maybe wounded pride.
yes, most likely (I think that I let go of past relationships quite easily and were forgotten right away - that means he’s not your person..
This is “incomplete relationship syndrome”
maybe love, or maybe just human sympathy.
Not necessary. Love is a rather altruistic feeling in its essence, and it may simply be a dependence on the positive emotions that a person has given and an addictive desire to receive more of them.
This is wounded pride.
nothing is clear! who loved whom, who did not love whom. where is Love? from your/his side? who forgot who? author, more details!!
Most likely yes, this is love. But what is the use if the object of love is not available? You can suffer like this for years.
I also completely agree with 1 and 3
This is the author's wounded pride. When I was still a little stupid girl, I was abandoned by a guy with whom I had no relationship, only sex a couple of times) and I was still running after him!) Now I’m sooooo ashamed and I still can’t forget him!
although I’ve been with my martyr for a long time and love him!)
but it seems to me that yes.
no not always. sometimes it's just a habit
Think. depending on what age.
if at a young age, then hardly. this is the first experience of the senses.
if mature, it’s probably love. I had more than enough experience and impressions in my life. If you are so touched, you obviously love her with your soul and heart. But you reject it with your head. Otherwise they wouldn't ask.
I have such bullshit. Is it a love addiction? I've loved someone all my life. I like the “euphoria” from this feeling when you imagine yourself with him.
Love is an abstract concept. Its symptoms are also varied in content. It's difficult to figure it out. There are no standards or GOSTs here. If you think you love, then you probably love. Not to mention the fact that everyone still loves in different ways.
I agree with Drunk Drunks - this may simply be an obsessive desire to experience something again with this particular person
Illness and unfinished relationships
it’s just that no one got it better - so you can’t forget
if I met someone better, they would forget how cute she is)))
I strongly advise you to try with all your might to forget and not to cultivate a cult of this ex in your brain and “oh, I can’t forget him, he’s probably true love”
otherwise you’ll get stuck in this for a long time and delay your meeting with your destiny
If a person loves, it means love, why talk about bullshit, come up with all sorts of terms, especially since you can’t look into a person’s soul.
Illness. Yes, love is a disease - a clinical mental disorder.
If you can’t forget, it means you love.
22, it’s not true, sometimes you know that person better than everyone else, but you love this one.
if you can “love” by calculating who is better and who is worse, then this is no longer love, but calculation
I agree with 3. It could also just be a sense of ownership.
only mutual feeling can be called love..
This is when there is nothing else to do, money) But something needs to be done, as in the joke, dad and son are running after the train, but they all didn’t have time to BOOM, the father hit the son, the son WHY? father, but something needs to be done!
10 years have passed. I'm married and have a child. I'm happy, I love my husband. but very often I dream, I think about the past. whom I loved very much, but fate separated us. or maybe not fate but goats.
30 years have passed. I'm married to someone else and have a big child. And I never forgot that distant love. And now I remember, quietly, tenderly, everything present is preserved in the heart, it cannot be forgotten.
maybe love..how long does it last for you? If it’s 1.2 weeks, then that’s nonsense. But if it’s six months or a year..then yes..love..
Personally, I think that this is love. The question is, what do you think?
Buhi, how did you get to Nick like this?
The user of the Woman.ru website understands and accepts that he is fully responsible for all materials partially or fully published by him using the Woman.ru service.
The user of the Woman.ru website guarantees that the placement of materials submitted by him does not violate the rights of third parties (including, but not limited to copyrights), and does not damage their honor and dignity.
The user of the Woman.ru site, by sending materials, is thereby interested in their publication on the site and expresses his consent to their further use by the editors of the Woman.ru site.
Use and reprinting of printed materials from the woman.ru website is possible only with an active link to the resource.
The use of photographic materials is permitted only with the written consent of the site administration.
Placement of intellectual property objects (photos, videos, literary works, trademarks, etc.)
on the woman.ru website is permitted only to persons who have all the necessary rights for such placement.
Copyright (c) 2016-2018 Hirst Shkulev Publishing LLC
Online publication “WOMAN.RU” (Zhenshchina.RU)
Certificate of registration of mass media EL No. FS77-65950, issued by the Federal Service for Supervision of Communications,
information technologies and mass communications (Roskomnadzor) June 10, 2016. 16+
Founder: Limited Liability Company "Hurst Shkulev Publishing"
Source:
If you can't forget a person, is this really true love?
If you can't forget him for the first time in your life... even though before this, everyone who didn’t love was forgotten - somehow they fell out of love, they didn’t want to, but if you can’t forget for the first time - is it Love?
http://www.woman.ru/relations/medley4/thread/4151577/
How can I get my loved one back?
Asks: Julia
Replies on the site: 18 Conducts trainings: 0 Publications: 2
I once asked what he was trying to achieve with all this, and he replied that he wanted me to suffer.
and at the same time you ask a question
Why does he contradict his feelings?
What feelings? The desire to make another suffer has little to do with such a feeling as love. This has more to do with resentment, perhaps self-serving.
Why can't he believe that I love him.
If your goal is for him to believe in your feeling, then what should follow? A person (in this situation, your ex-boyfriend) driven by the desire to cause suffering is unlikely to appreciate your love.
How can I get my loved one back? It’s not for nothing that they say: “If you can’t forget a person, it means he won’t let you go.”
In your case, it’s just the opposite - you don’t let go. And your ex-boyfriend gives you direct messages that he does not want to be with you.
I want to support you with a completely different statement Gabriel Marquez, which, in my opinion, is closer to the truth: If you love it, let it go, if it’s yours, it will definitely come back, if not, then it was never yours.
You are a young girl and everything in your life will be wonderful, just believe in it. If you still want to receive more detailed psychological help, you can contact me.
Source:
How can I get my loved one back?
To the question: How can I get my loved one back?, psychologists with higher psychological education answer
http://www.all-psy.com/konsultacii/otvet/54473/
Quotes pictures about love
A person cannot be forgotten. You can start to treat him differently, but forget... Never forget.
They say that when you can’t sleep at night, it means someone is dreaming about you.
I just don’t understand who has been watching the series about me for a month now?
They say that when you can’t sleep at night, it means someone is dreaming about you. I don’t understand - who has been watching the series about me for a month now?
If you cannot explain why you forgive all the antics of a certain person, then you truly love him.
If you can’t finish the topic, then the topic has already finished you.
A person cannot be forgotten. You can start to treat him differently, but forget... Never forget
People say, "Just forget it"
But. it’s not that simple, it’s not just when you remember moments with this person that made you smile.
And usually, only those you value very much say this. I didn’t want to lose, I’ll have to endure, forget, but it’s impossible to forget a person, remove him from the heart, if he even once appeared there, then he will remain there. Even if someone closer appears. he will. Always. forever. near.
When they say: “Jews,” I am a Jew.
When they say: “Kakly”, I am Ukrainian.
When they say: “Katsapy”, I am Russian.
When they say: "Pendos", I am an American.
When they say: “Black dropout”, I am a black man.
When they say: “Nazis,” I am not one of them.
When they say “racists,” I am not one of them.
When they say: “Executioners,” I am not one of them.
When they say: “Rapists,” I am not one of them.
I am human. And you?
If you can’t forget a person for a long time, it means in your heart he hasn’t let you go yet!
They say that when you can’t forget a person, it means he still holds you in his soul.
Don't keep a person in your head when you can no longer hold their hand.
If you give up on a person for a while, then you can give up on him forever...
But it’s true. When you hear the name of a dear person, everything inside seems to turn over.
I still can't forget you..
A person cannot be forgotten. You can start to treat him differently, but forget about it. never forget!
If you can live a day without asking a person how they are, then you can live without that person your whole life.
Don't keep a person in your head when you can't hold his hand anymore...
When you hug your loved one, your soul becomes warmer and calmer than ever...
They say when you can't forget a person,
It means he still holds you in his soul.
79xxxxxxxxx: good morning! I still can’t forget you. We had such a good time these two months. In my opinion, you are the best! Handsome, smart, gentle and affectionate. I don’t even know where you might fail.
Me: um. along the way, in memory.
A person cannot be forgotten. You can start to treat him differently. And forget. Impossible to forget.
It has become very easy to be disappointed in people. Even in those who were once so dear. Either they leave you again, or you just can’t forgive them for what they once did. You really want to... You try to forget, to forget, saying: “this is a dear person, he can be forgiven for everything,” yes, but it seems that this is not about me. It so happened that I cannot forgive severe pain. As much as I don't want it. I can not.
A person cannot be forgotten. You can start to treat him differently. And forget. Impossible to forget..
They say when you can’t sleep at night, it means someone is dreaming about you. I don’t understand who has been watching the series about me for a month now?
When you hug your loved one, your soul becomes warmer and calmer than ever.
How to forget a person? No way. He must be forgiven for his mistakes, he has every right to them. You must forgive him for not living up to your selfish desires to possess him, he is a free person and has the right to choose the best for himself. And thank him every day for appearing in your life. He brought you experience. People should be appreciated for this.
They say when you can’t sleep at night, it means someone is dreaming about you. I don’t understand who has been watching the series about me for a month now?
Let them talk about You.
So it’s not so easy to forget about You.
If you can’t forget a person for a long time, it means that in your heart he hasn’t let you go yet.©
They say when you can’t sleep at night, it means someone is dreaming of you. I don’t understand who has been watching the series about me for a month now?
If you give up on a person for a while, then you can give up on him forever!
— They say that when you dream about someone, it means that the soul of this person, wanting to see you, leaves the body and comes into your dreams.
- Damn, Johnny Depp remembered me.
You may not be complete
But I have to lose weight even in my heart
Now that you are not tied to the earth
You can calmly soar to the sky
When there is bad weather in your soul
When there is bad weather in your soul,
Hurry up and visit our website -
You'll tone up in no time.
Who needs what? Choose:
There is fresh humor in jokes
The poems contain lyrics and obscenities.
And the parodist is always worried:
Looking for dirt on Muse!
There is literature for the soul
There are aphorisms, there are stories.
And there's even a caricature
And there are countless comedians here!
You may even doubt:
What and where to put the score?
But, I believe, you will begin to smile:
No wonder I visited the site!
Akindryn 5.10.08
You can't win, you'll outwit
If you can't outwit, forget it
If you can't forget, masturbate.
At the initial stage, it is difficult to get rid of the man you love. This is a painful feeling that you have to face. It doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup, it will be hard for both. So how to forget the person you love? Guided by the clues, the answer to the question will disappear.
What to do?
- Don't blame yourself. The role of care is played by the personality of the chosen lover. Anyone can fall in love or make mistakes. The partner honors kindness and intelligence, and later reproaches you for a small offense. There are many reasons. Learning a lesson and accepting your lover's choice will be the smart thing to do.
- Get your self-esteem back. Criticism remains an integral part of society, but sometimes it can reach too high a level. There is no need to give in to her. Improve yourself to please yourself. Find a source of inspiration, ideally a mentor. Then the likelihood that you and everyone around you will like you will increase.
- Take on more responsibilities. The solution is risky, but it might work. Because it’s easier to start solving all job difficulties than just trying to get rid of personal difficulties. With a successful outcome, work will help emotional stability. And most likely it will open the door to a successful career.
- Cut off all contacts. An effective way to forget the feeling of the past is to break contacts. You will need to get rid of everything. Habits of calling, writing, visiting pages on social networks. Any connection can aggravate feelings.
- Have a bachelorette party. Invite a friend to your home, buy something sweet, have a party. Talk about the breakup. The role of the vest is to listen, express an opinion, give advice. The evening spent will remain beneficial, the feeling of sadness will subside, and determination will return for new victories.
- Make yourself a new friend. A good option is to let yourself have a pet as a new friend. A sense of need and attention can ease the loss. Take a walk, play, give love exactly as given to your ex-lover.
- Find a hobby. You can always go in for sports, sign up for fitness, dancing. When you break up, tension remains. And sport will help get rid of negative emotions. Pick one thing and bring yourself back.
- Give free rein to your emotions. Let out all the sadness you feel. Lock yourself in your own room, give freedom to your personal emotions, cry. Your comrades will be much more pleased to see you renewed than to see a girl who has spent all her ambition.
- Throw away everything you don't need. Get rid of all the things your lover gave you. If the item is expensive, give it to someone who needs it more. There is a risk of returning to the past, and this should not be allowed. Leaving everything behind increases the risk of feeling negative.
- Notify all your friends. It is difficult to always be able to store the entire story. Listen to your friends' recommendations. Due to the huge amount of advice, you will feel the feeling of getting rid of them, losing the habit of attachment to your lover.
- Shopping. Saving money for a special occasion? Maybe let him buy himself something bright and memorable. Perhaps you will find a fresh image for yourself, and most importantly, you will find yourself again.
- Leave. Do you feel like changing everything? Buy a ticket near the beach. And if you are tired of the heat and want a cold winter, go to the ski resort. A fresh environment, a change of climate, an exciting company will help get rid of loneliness.
- Change yourself. Update your wardrobe, change your hairstyle, manicure, get rid of habits that you didn’t like. Development has no boundaries, which means it is possible to use the lesson for a long time.
- Go on a date. You are free, therefore, you have absolutely every right to communicate with the opposite sex. It will be difficult at first, but you need to overcome this whole feeling within yourself. A successful approach will give you a renewed sense of self-confidence.
- Live for today. Living today is more difficult than it seems. Memories take over, it’s difficult to concentrate on yourself. Make a list of activities and stick to it.
- Love yourself. A large number of diseases and depression are expressed in uncertainty after separation. He suffers and treats himself carelessly. Kind words will help you get rid of all negative feelings; go to the mirror and voice compliments.
- Make an appointment with a psychologist. There is nothing wrong with turning to a specialist. A psychologist will listen to everything, give instructions, and help get rid of emotional fatigue.
- Find his flaws. Every personality is made up of flaws. Try to find them in your lover. The illusion of the ideal will disappear, and you will begin to live again.
- Write a goodbye note. In many cases an effective method. Write to yourself about the experiences that made separation an inevitable solution. Pour out everything in its entirety, understanding that the letter will not reach the recipient. Thanks to this, it will become much easier, you will be able to note what you did not dare to express before. After that, get rid of the message. This will be the final stage in your relationship.
- Avoid addiction. The desire to return to the past may not get rid of feelings, but only aggravate the problem. To end the case of depression, try to devote more time to yourself and your family.
What not to do
- Hold a grudge for an action. You can't return the past. There is no point in blaming your lover for everything you have done. In the first hours it is absolutely possible to feel rage and anger. However, if everything turns out to be on the young man, in the future you will begin to repent of your action.
- Drink alcohol. After drinking alcohol, it is impossible to stop the depressed feeling. The percentage of drinks will increase. Then inquire about all the calls composed by SMS directly from your lover.
- Wait for your return. Waiting for the long-awaited opportunity to return is unthinkable. An absurd story of comprehending a mistake - the return of a lover - is possible. But still wait for the triumphant moment of return or rely on yourself? Get rid of the waiting.
- Settle scores. It’s difficult to get over all the unrequited feelings. It is necessary to get rid of bad thoughts. Drive away ideas of revenge, because such behavior makes you weak and complicates your emotional state. Come to terms with the action.
- Lead a cheeky lifestyle. There is no need to do anything rash. Dancing, drinking, everything can be seen by the leader, father, mother, comrades, former lover. Any incident can ruin everything. After all, some find a risk to their health and begin to seek reassurance in casual relationships.
Mutual love elevates, often allows oneself to successfully conquer goals much more effectively, but not mutual - it gives feelings the completely opposite effect. Anyone can become the initiator of a break in a relationship, and the opposite result can make one win over oneself - forgive one’s partner. You should definitely remember that this situation can happen to anyone.
After breaking up with a close partner, you should immediately give yourself a real chance for a completely new future. After all, our surrounding world is a gift given to us by living nature. Destiny could be waiting anywhere. At the same time, fate will unexpectedly turn out to be bright, rich, and will quickly be able to travel an important path together with you.
Separating from a beloved partner is quite difficult news for any person. Why did this happen? Each ex-couple will give their reasons. Someone broke up because feelings cooled down. Someone broke up because of a big quarrel. Someone was caught, so there was a break. On an external level, people break up. However, love can remain in the hearts, which does not cool down only because someone cheated, deceived, became ugly or fell out of love. In such a situation, it becomes difficult to forget the partner whom you love, but not reciprocally.
For any reader of a psychological help website, the need to break up with a partner would be a blow. Even if we don’t like him very much, we are already used to him. If a person is not the initiator of the breakup, then it is difficult for him to part with his partner. Difficulty even arises when a person was forced to break off an alliance with a partner due to his betrayal, since on the external level the right actions were committed, but in the heart the love did not subside because of this.
Both men and women suffer from relationship breakups. Everyone experiences a breakup differently. It’s only good for the person who doesn’t love, has already stopped loving, or has been preparing to break up for a long time. And everyone else suffers anyway.
To quickly forget a former partner, a person is given a lot of advice. We will not say that there are effective and ineffective methods, since everything is individual. It’s better to try everything that will help rid your heart of unnecessary love. Let's consider all possible tips and rules of forgetting further.
Typically, a person is offered the following in an effort to forget his beloved partner:
- Start meeting new people.
- Become interested in something new or old.
- Immerse yourself in work or study.
- Walk more.
- Fill your life with new impressions and images.
- Attend trainings on self-improvement and balancing your psyche, for example, “How to become happy?” or “How to gain self-confidence?”
Some people suggest not fighting your own feelings at all. The more you try not to notice or forget them, the more they take root and hurt the soul. It’s better to suffer, get angry, cry until your heart gets tired and calms down, which happens, of course, over time.
But the surest option for forgetting a loved one is time. Over time, everything is forgotten, even the most painful and unpleasant things. You just have to wait and try to devote as little time as possible to unpleasant memories. Continue to live as you are, and over time, unnecessary thoughts and experiences will certainly pass. Sometimes years pass when love is forgotten. But this is all individual.
How does it prevent you from forgetting the person you love?
What prevents you from letting relationships go? You, some time has passed, and you still can’t forget what once happened. Why is this happening?
The root reason that a person cannot let go of something in the past and start a new life is the unwillingness to realize that the past cannot be returned. Many people, having collapsed relationships with partners, suffer for a long time only because they do not want to accept the fact of the non-existence of a love union. They constantly replay in their memory how the relationship existed, how they diverged and came together with their partners, and therefore continue to think that nothing is over yet. At any moment, he/she may knock on the door or the name of a loved one will appear on the phone, asking for forgiveness and offering to renew the relationship.
It is the unwillingness to accept the reality that the relationship has broken down that leads to the constant expectation that everything can still be restored. Expectations in the depths of your soul about the return of your loved one force you to continue to keep in mind what happened between you, to remember all the passions and desires of your partner.
Don't keep your past relationships in your mind. Realize the fact of their absence. You broke up with your loved one, which means you can forget about what was connected with him. Don't expect or expect anyone to come back to you with a desire to rekindle the relationship. Better stop thinking about the past, start thinking about your current life when you are alone, and about the future (how will you achieve happiness on your own?). There is a whole life ahead that you have not yet seen or lived. You will have many acquaintances with other people with whom you can build loving relationships. All this will allow you to quickly forget about your past relationship.
If you accept the fact that you have been abandoned (which has happened and will happen, despite the desire to love forever), and get rid of the hope of getting the relationship back, then the process of forgetting your loved one will speed up. Psychologists give the following recommendations:
- Take care of your health and appearance. Surely something has been neglected: either you have gained weight, or you need to get your teeth fixed, or go in for sports. Be that as it may, put yourself in order so that you can like yourself.
- Start living a new life. Do something with your free time. Let these activities or people be interesting to you, which will help in starting a new life.
- Remove things that remind you of your ex from your eyes. It is advisable to throw them away altogether. However, if you use something, then at least don’t remember where you got it from. But it is better to either remove or liquidate the photographs.
- Change your surroundings. After spending a little time alone, pull yourself out of this state. Go where it will be interesting. Go somewhere you've never been and would like to be. New impressions, people and emotions will fill your thoughts, gradually crowding out memories of the past.
- Promise yourself to get through this stage with dignity. It will be difficult at first, but at least don’t let yourself down. Support, encourage, please yourself with something to help get through an unpleasant period.
If you cannot cope on your own, then you should not ignore the help of a specialist - a psychologist. He will listen, find the reason for your fixation, offer options for getting rid of love - isn’t that what you want?
Let's be honest with ourselves. If you say that you love and want to forget, while at the same time you are looking for meetings with your ex-partner in every possible way, go to his page on the social network, do not erase the phone number in the hope that your loved one will call, then you are deceiving yourself. Either you do everything to forget, or you continue to love and hope. Honestly decide on your desires so as not to waste time on unnecessary actions that simply will not produce results in a contradictory situation.
Anyone who really wants to forget about their love is recommended to:
- Make yourself the most valuable person to yourself. After all, as long as you love, you put your loved one above yourself. It's time to change places: value yourself more than anyone else. Realize your own worth!
- See your partner's flaws. He's not that perfect. As long as you love, it seems to you that this person is the most suitable for you. Actually this is not true. There are many shortcomings in any person, you just don’t want to notice them. And the most important drawback of your ex-partner is that he does not love you, betrayed you, deceived you, abandoned you.
- Believe in your happy future. Start dreaming. Imagine a future where you are happy, but without your ex-partner. He is not in your future. You are surrounded by other people, including a loved one whom you have not yet met. Believe that everything will be fine with you - only this faith must be real.
How to forget a person you love, but he doesn’t love you?
In an effort to forget the person you love, but he doesn’t love you, people often make two main mistakes. Trying in an intuitive way, mixed with a stereotypical model of behavior in such situations, to forget about an unfulfilled union, a person is not just trying to overcome something that cannot be destroyed, but also to force his own memory to suddenly stop remembering the events that happened to him.
What kind of people make mistakes in their desire to let relationships go into the past?
- The first mistake is mixing anger and love. A person's natural reaction to a breakup is anger. He is upset that the desired union has collapsed, and plans for the future may never come true. And here a person begins to combine two completely opposite feelings - love and anger. The person he loves begins to hate. He blames, he sets himself up to believe that his partner is not worthy of his love. In other words, he is trying to turn his love into hate in order to let the “enemy” (former lover) go into the past.
But where have you seen a person be able to overcome his own feelings? You can live with feelings, you can come to terms with them, or you can simply survive them. But man has never gotten rid of what he fiercely fought against. While you are struggling with something, you pay a lot of attention to it. And how can you forget about something if you constantly remember it?
- The second mistake is quickly starting a new relationship. Many people say: “Wedge is knocked out with wedge.” But they forget one thing. It is really possible to forget past relationships and your ex-partner, if only a new relationship is started with a partner who will really interest you and who will be mutually loved. Often, a hasty new relationship is an escape that only aggravates the pain of the person himself. The fact is that an individual “running from a past relationship” transfers his feelings, experiences and emotions to a new partner. It’s as if he’s been dating him for a long time, demanding from him love, affection and the same plans for the future that were made in the previous union. A person tries to end a past relationship in a present one. But in this case, only one end is possible - the breaking of the next union.
You should not be mistaken and run somewhere in an effort to let relationships go into the past. Often you just need to wait and experience the feelings that you still have. This may take several months.
However, this is the time that will give you the opportunity not only to calm down and let go of the past, but also to reconsider your own mistakes, correct them and start a new relationship only with someone with whom it will not end quickly and tragically.
Bottom line
Forgetting a person with whom you are in love, but he is not in you, is quite possible if you stop shedding tears and feeling sorry for yourself. You should start living after you have said goodbye to your ex-partner. You were sad for a couple of days, but now continue to live, because no person deserves to make others suffer and lose vital energy because of him. It may be good that you broke up, because this person could not make you happy.