What a man cannot forgive. What will a woman never forgive? Why is it harder for men to forgive?
Women men
As a unit of reference, let’s try to take a woman who, first of all, respects herself, secondly, does not lack male attention and will never enter into a relationship with a man according to the principle “even if he’s inferior, he’s mine.” That is, a woman who has clear requirements, certain principles, good upbringing, self-sufficiency and, of course, the presence of a brain.Communication with such a lady requires adherence to a code of honor, and if minor offenses are forgiven and forgotten (God be with them, socks thrown under the bed and the toilet seat not lowered), but there are things that cannot be forgiven under any circumstances. What is this?
Emotional dullness
Everyone has known for a long time that ladies are characterized by such qualities as sentimentality, deep soul-searching and reflection. Therefore, crying, suffering and killing are normal leisure activities, especially if there is a man who encourages such pastime. For example, a man does not call or come with oranges at a time when you are sick or you are very sad and lonely. That is, when you laughed merrily at a party and danced passionately with him in a club, everything was fine. But everything changes when you become helpless and need support. Or you have a problem, a nuisance, and the man pretends that he had nothing to do with it or, even worse, instead of supporting you, he makes claims to you or provokes a conflict. This is emotional stupidity that cannot be forgiven. And there is no need - it will only get worse. You can make a mistake at such a moment only once; usually a man does not get a second chance to “cleanse karma”.
Aggression
No matter how upset a man is, drunk, tired or fair (the most common excuses for causing bodily harm), he has no moral right to show his strength in dealing with a woman. It is not necessary to immediately fight with stools; sometimes rude words and insults in an aggressive form can destroy even the best relationships. Although, how good are they if a man allows himself such antics? This cannot be forgiven. Once you cross this border, there is always a chance that the situation will repeat itself, and in a much worse form.
Loserism
What could be more disgusting than a whining man who constantly blames others, including you, for his failures and mistakes? “Wow, the boss is an asshole, Vasya is a freak, and you’re a fool too.” Horror. It is clear that there are situations when a man cannot force events and there really are people to blame. But more often than not, we ourselves are the creators of our own happiness, and placing all the blame on others, while constantly and loudly reporting it, is a humiliating activity for a man. I do not like? Take it and make it different. Otherwise, the armor is sold for scrap in that window over there. Bye!
More specifically, loserism also includes a total reluctance to improve something, to strive for something, that is, there is a clear lack of personal, career and creative ambitions. How can you afford to walk around in dirty shirts, with dandruff in your head and earn 10 thousand rubles at the age of 40, being a healthy person? No, no, ladies don’t forgive this.
Empty promises
No matter how cheesy it may sound, the golden rule - “the boy said it, the boy did it” - works. Or you don't need to say anything at all. If a man informs you every day that you will go on a romantic trip to Paris for the New Year holidays, and he still hasn’t even bothered to get himself a passport and it’s deep December, the noodles from your ears begin to slowly and sadly slide into the pan with under-salted borscht.
And this applies to everything. Okay, we don’t mind reminding you 5 times that you need to nail a shelf in the bathroom, but if the number of “shelves” is already on an astronomical scale, then there’s clearly nothing to catch here - let him “dream” alone.
Moreover, it is one thing if some force majeure circumstances occur, but, as a rule, this is the rarest case. Most often, a man simply feeds him with promises and pulls, pulls, pulls, until the woman’s patience snaps and ricochets the man away.
Dark past
Very often, men keep many secrets about their past: the dashing 90s, ex-wives, illegitimate children, violations of the law, strange sexual experiments, addictions, and so on. Over the years, of course, many people correct themselves or, rather, leave everything in the past. But the only difference is that someday, sooner or later, secrets begin to be revealed, especially with close and regular communication, not to mention living together. The past can greatly influence the present, and not even for the reason that it was hidden, but because if a man “was like this”, this does not mean that he “became different.” Five children, whether you know about them or not, will not disappear, a thief’s tattoo ring cannot be erased with an eraser, and a bullet wound in the side cannot be hidden.
And here there are two options: either the man immediately admits everything, convincing that this is really in the past, or not, and occupies two uncomfortable chairs at once - lies and concealment. It's quite difficult to forgive. Because such concealment does not lead to any good. And it’s better to find out what’s what right away, so that in the 8th month of pregnancy you don’t face the fact that your son will be the 15th, and not the first, heir.
Abandoned children
Actually, what we talked about above, only in context.
In general, if a man is 35-50 years old and has no children, you will agree that this fact is already somewhat suspicious. And, let's just say, this is a fairly rare occurrence. Usually, by the age of 40, a man is divorced (we are now talking about singles), has a “past” family and is trying to build a new one, this time with you. And here a very important point is - what is his relationship with children from previous marriages and previous women? If he fulfills his duties as a father with dignity, even from a distance - he calls regularly, sends money, gifts, spends time with the children whenever possible, brings them to your common home, then you don’t have to worry. But if the situation is different, and he deeply does not care what happens to his son, whom he last saw every two months, the situation is critical.
Due to the fact that a woman’s maternal instinct is so strongly developed, she is more likely to love someone else’s child than to accept a man who does not love his own child. As a mother, this is difficult for her to forgive.
Fanaticism
Everything must be in moderation, otherwise it will be a disaster. For example, a man can be extremely religious and make terrible scandals about the fact that you eat meat during Lent. Of course, if your views on this issue are similar, it’s one thing, you found each other, but when one of the couple looks like a religious fanatic, you urgently need to run, sparkling your heels, before your lover sharpens an aspen stake and sticks it in you during the theological conflict.
And we're not just talking about religious fanaticism. Football, slot machines, casinos, shopping, gluttony, drunkenness, endless parties, sports, work, after all - any type of activity can turn a person into a fanatic. When he is ready to devote all his free time, his thoughts, his activities to one thing, and does this with unhealthy delight, increased emotionality and excitement, such a prince is unlikely to bring you happiness. Besides, this is somewhat dangerous - what if you become his obsession?
Personal genius
The unfulfilled ambitions of a creative person are the main drawback that is very difficult to forgive. If a man constantly shouts “I am a genius, I am a genius” on every corner, but no one knows about it except him, run. Maybe not right away, but a little later they will begin to accuse you of the fact that you, an uneducated, stupid, insensitive brute, do not see an artist in him and do not protect his spark of God, with which he justifies his idleness and lack of money (“I am a genius, and these stupid brutes simply don’t understand the depth of my creativity”). Although, if you have contacted a creative person, you can already sympathize with him, this is a difficult type of man.
You probably ask, where on the list are betrayals, drunkenness, partying, beatings, and so on? The point is that these are already results. Cheating comes from emotional dullness, drunkenness comes from lack of fulfillment, fights and scandals come from everything at once.
Therefore, you need to not forgive the man before the situation reaches a dead end, and you have to run away from him in the literal sense of the word.
“Women forgive, but do not forget;
men forget, but do not forgive” (folk wisdom).
What female “sins” are considered terrible?
What should a woman not allow herself to do in a relationship with a man?
Where is the line that a woman is forbidden to cross?
Can it be a man's business to forgive? Forgiveness is a sign of weakness. It is difficult for a weak man to be the master of life and be useful to at least one woman. Forgiving some women's mistakes is an impossible task for a man, even if he loves you very much. A man has no idea how to forgive many things. It is almost impossible to forgive a woman in situations where she hurts his masculine pride, masculinity, or social status. But the most serious test, even for the most generous man, is a woman’s betrayal.
Treason - a blow below the belt
Cheating is hard for both partners to forgive. This concept has different meanings. This is betrayal, emotional betrayal or sex on the side. Taking into account his polygamous nature, a man sees nothing wrong with going to the left. But, following the same genetic memory, he cannot even imagine in his thoughts that someone is encroaching on his woman and she can leave with him. The possessive approach to protecting everything one owns does not allow this possibility.
The matter is further complicated by moral damage. A wife, having cheated on her husband, seems to be saying by her action that their joint relationship does not seem to be of great value to her and communicates her indifference. The man perceives what happened as a real blow to his masculinity.
There is another important moment that is too difficult for a man to experience. A worm of doubt appears inside him, which constantly gnaws at him. “What if she liked the other one better?” A man perceives his sexual abilities very reverently, cannot stand any comparison, and reacts painfully to any criticism or joke about his masculine viability. If, as a result of a woman’s hints or glances, he has suspicions that she could be better off with someone else, the man will certainly not forgive this. And then, with good reason, he will allow himself free trips to the side.
For a man, female infidelity is humiliation and a blow to his masculinity. Therefore, it can be very difficult for a man to forgive a cheater, sometimes simply impossible.
Female supremacy is unacceptable
Every man wants to feel in charge. He must be higher in authority, status, position, and material wealth. A man does not accept female superiority either in life or in his career. Any superiority of a woman is very painful to his pride. He will survive success in his career and a large salary from his chosen one if this is at least not emphasized and demonstrated to others. If a woman sets herself and her successes as an example, she will greatly humiliate the man.
Since it so happens that you have a more decent salary, do not take on the role of mistress of the situation. It will be difficult for him to forgive if you strive to dominate the family and put yourself above in your relationship. Nature has determined the role of the head of the family for a man, even with his wife’s higher salary. Otherwise, even being in very comfortable conditions, the man will disappear. Because it’s hard for him to withstand the constant load on his ego.
Criticism and public evaluation are prohibited
Don’t even think of presenting a man with some mutual acquaintances, friends, relatives, and, even worse, a former lover as a model. It will be like a knife in the heart of any man. It is forbidden for a woman to humiliate a man in this way. Especially in public - in the company of strangers or among friends. Men do not take criticism or public discussion of their shortcomings. A man will not forgive you for flaunting his weaknesses and presenting him in a funny light. In addition, it is difficult for a man to forgive an unsuccessful comparison.
You chose your soul mate yourself. By humiliating your husband, you pay with your own reputation in his eyes and in the eyes of those around you. A man will not forgive you if you are not on his side, especially in front of strangers. You can find time to discuss your complaints with your man alone. But when you go out in public, you need to always be on the same side with him.
Don't humiliate, don't make fun of, don't criticize. This will cause resentment, loss of his trust, and possibly love. You must always remember that your man is the one and only, the best in the whole wide world.
Mom, friends and family are taboo for a wife
Most men, regardless of their age, consider their mother an unshakable shrine. You are strictly forbidden to offend his family and friends. The strictest prohibition concerns the mother. He himself is well aware of its shortcomings; your complaints will not be new to him. Men cannot forgive anyone for your criticism or impartial statement about their mother, including their beloved women.
The same applies to friends: you must definitely find a common language with them, despite your attitude towards them. Some men value male friendships, especially childhood friends, more than their own family. A man remembers derogatory expressions addressed to them or himself for a long time, especially if they hurt his pride. In this situation, the stronger sex is distinguished by “exceptional” memory. A man is able to remember a woman’s statement even many years later. She had already forgotten that she had said anything like that. Only one piece of advice to a woman is appropriate here - you should think several times before saying or doing something, isn’t it?
Failed intimacy cannot be forgiven
Often men are very hurt by a sudden refusal of intimacy. Now it comes to the most interesting thing... and suddenly - “I’m so tired...” or the classic one - “I have a headache...”. By leaving an excited man to his own devices, you run the risk of losing him forever - because in this case, you are touching his heartstrings, literally and figuratively.
It is wrong for a woman to use sex as a reward or punishment for a man. Men don't forgive this. In sex, feelings and emotions are valued, not mechanical performance or favor. A man wants to enjoy you. If he doesn't receive this, sooner or later he will make complaints and problems will arise in the relationship. Your lack of response to this situation will lead to his loss forever. A man needs constant energy supply, which sex provides. If not with you, then with someone else, but he will definitely get it.
Simple truth
There is one very simple truth that a woman should remember: behave with a man the way you want him to behave with you. Learn to feel your partner. If you constantly strive to hurt or offend him, put yourself in his place for a moment.
Life in our world is ruled by love. And for her sake, men turn a blind eye to many things and forgive almost everything. At the same time, women tend to go quite far using their plans, actions and intentions. And this will happen until a man stops her.
What will a man never forgive a woman?
I don't have a complete list of these things. No one has it, because all people are different. Some are hypersensitive and vulnerable, others are calm and bulletproof. And if the first can be traumatized by one wrong look, then others are able to forgive even betrayal and treat it as an everyday trifle. So I'll make a short list of things that are guaranteed to offend most men. And what else can offend you specifically, it’s better for you and Alina to know for yourself or at least feel it.
1. Lie
“If you lie once, who will believe you?” - says the 74th aphorism from the collection of thoughts and aphorisms “Fruits of Thought” Kozma Prutkova. The authors of this phrase saw the root! After all, it is enough to catch a person in a lie once - and that’s it! We will never be able to trust him again. And the worst thing is when this person is your beloved woman. Of course, some manage to love this woman for some time, but lost trust ultimately kills even the strongest feelings.
2. Treason
Of course, most men will not forgive you. But it’s not a fact that you will be immediately abandoned after this. Sometimes a man, deep down in his soul, will even like it - hurray, that means now he can do everything. Of course, he won’t show it and, on the contrary, he will throw lightning bolts and express rage for as long as possible. Well, it’s important, of course, with whom she cheated. If it’s with your best friend, then yes, a tragedy is a double loss. And if you’re on vacation with a Turkish animator, then it’s a shame and an ethnic conflict. But if you are on a business trip with some manager, then you can simply clean up his snout, and as a result forgive your wife. Well, after all, it’s a business trip, it happens to everyone. And we ourselves are not angels on business trips either.
It’s a rather loose concept and it’s stretched differently for everyone. Some are ready to allow and forgive their wife everything, so she can rummage through her husband’s pockets, read his mail, check the contents of his cell phone, etc. (Yes, there are such men, but they are few). Most people view such things much more negatively. For example, I know couples who broke up after the husband caught his wife reading his mail or studying SMS messages. It's probably better not to do this, so as not to make things worse.
4. Ironic and critical remarks about a man's sexual virtues
Even a strong and confident macho who has never known defeat in love can fall into aggression or depression if you try to joke in the style of “Is that all you can do?” Or “And this is what you were going to surprise me with?” You can be sure: after such an assessment of his endurance and merits, the macho man can cool off towards you so sharply that he really won’t be able to do anything in bed - with you. Even worse (for a macho): the blow to his pride may be so strong that it may not work out with another woman. Until someone appears who immediately goes crazy with delight and admiration and who just likes everything. In general, you should be more careful with these things. Especially considering that it is now fashionable to be bitches and hide your feelings under the guise of arrogance and disdain. One bad joke on this topic and you risk losing your man.
5. Something terrible towards common children
It turns out that usually the mother spends more time with the child than the father. Especially the first 2-3-4 years, while the baby still especially needs his mother. Mother's work is extremely hard and round the clock, and of course there is plenty of stress and reasons for hysterics. Some may even be justified, but dad is not always able to understand this. Especially when he doesn’t know the backstory, but only sees the ending. For example, he comes home tired from work, and at home his wife yells at the child or hits him with soiled panties. Dad doesn’t know that before this their sweet baby drove his mother crazy all day long, didn’t listen, didn’t eat, etc. But dad found the finale and the angry fury instead of mom. And of course, in such a situation, he is on the side of the baby and generally cannot understand how he took such an evil hysterical wife as his wife. However, screaming is not the most serious crime. And even beatings are not always serious. It’s much worse if the mother was chatting with a friend, and at that moment the child got hit by a car. Or here's another wonderful example. Huge hypermarket. Crowds of people. And in the middle of the hall there is a cart with groceries, and in it there is also a roaring baby. And mom just went away for a minute to look at some cream for herself. Well, the rack is long, the cart is big - why roll it here and there? Mom, just a minute, she’ll be back soon. If I were dad, I would hardly forgive her.
6. Other little things
As I already said, all people are different and you must think for yourself what your particular man will not forgive you for. For one it is enough to slightly scratch his car. Another would want to throw away a piece of paper with some kind of formula that was lying on his desk. The third one is to freeze his favorite flower. Life around us is tense, we are going wild. We can get into trouble over any nonsense. So be loving and sensitive. Feel your man, and then you won’t need the advice of an outsider.
A woman, unlike a man, forgives much more than the stronger sex. And why? Because at some point, when there are small children in the family (if we consider an already existing marriage and family in particular), the woman is almost completely dependent on the man. It is extremely rare that, having small children, a woman continues to remain independent from her husband. In addition, a woman by nature always strives to create a family and maintain it. It happens that she is ready to make sacrifices, pushing even her pride into the far corner.
But a man has a completely different worldview in general, an understanding of family and women. Of course, we are all human and in some ways similar to each other. Men can also forgive a woman quite a lot.
Why is the stronger sex not ready to make concessions and does not forgive?
It's just that men's memory works a little differently. He writes down all grievances and misdeeds in his imaginary notebook. Point X occurs when the free space for recordings runs out. This is what is called the extreme limit, when it is no longer possible. A woman may think that in the last quarrel she said the wrong word or looked the wrong way, but for her man that was the point. Apparently, there were too many such entries about unnecessary words in his diary.
What is a man's reaction in an unpleasant situation?
- He can forgive. If the culprit admitted guilt, sincerely asked for forgiveness, and such an offense will never happen again.
- He forgives because of the circumstances. For example, it is scary to lose contact with children, sidelong glances at work, misunderstanding of his friends - all this weighs on him, he suppresses resentment, but there are more and more accumulated resentments, so in the end this cup may overflow.
- Pretends that he has forgiven, but at the same time ends the relationship. This rarely happens, because in such an act there is ambiguity that is not characteristic of men. It seems that the offender has been forgiven, but at the same time, communication with him goes to zero.
- The man categorically does not forgive, so he simply leaves and never returns. This is the last line when there is nowhere else to write down. For a long time, resentment and the inability to say the last word or respond in kind remain in him for a long time.
Let's focus on the fact that infantile men, having become big, but not adults, are easily offended for any reason. If your man is offended by almost every word, think about whether the man next to you is the right one.
When a representative of the stronger sex has realized himself, knows what he wants, is self-sufficient, at least independent, then he forgives quite a lot, but does not accumulate hidden grievances.
But why don’t men forgive women?
There are a number of situations when no matter how loving a man is, he most likely will not be able to forgive a woman:
- The worst thing for a man is female infidelity. Despite the fact that for a man, his relationship on the side is considered almost the norm, but the connection of his woman with someone else is the strictest taboo. A man is powerful, he is a winner, and when someone even just shows signs of attention to his woman, he is already jealous. A man is so possessive that pleasantries with another person are a reason for a serious quarrel.
Even if a man eventually forgives, it will not happen soon. This will be a very painful and painful stage in the relationship. Moreover, if a woman allows herself this, then the man will be free to walk as he wants.
- The next reason for breaking up with a woman is denial of intimacy. In this case, the man begins to ignore his woman or leaves completely. A woman approaches intimate relationships a little differently, unlike a man. She can easily do without them for quite a long time, she will prefer sleep instead of intimacy, devote the evening to herself instead of paying attention to her husband. But for a man everything is different. When intimacy with a woman occurs rarely or she has not been there at all for a long period, then, firstly, for him it is a humiliation of his dignity, and secondly, he concludes that he is not interested in his woman. For this reason, he quickly finds someone who is interested in him.
- While a man can still forgive small shortcomings, it is very difficult for him to tolerate superiority, and, most likely, he will not do this. Next to a powerful woman, there are most often men who cannot be a leader, are not adapted to anything and are not able to decide anything on their own. But if a man is strong and self-sufficient, then he will not even allow his woman’s leadership in his thoughts. He is the master of the situation, and only he decides what will happen next. Therefore, you shouldn’t even try to somehow manage such a man - nothing will work anyway.
- A man will forgive a lot to the woman he loves, but at some point daily discontent will reach the limit of his patience. When every day a wife expresses a thousand grievances, then at best the husband will find peace and tranquility in someone else’s bed, at worst he will simply leave.
Betrayal. But this is not about betrayal. If a woman discusses and laughs at her husband’s secrets or dreams, then he will perceive this as a disregard for his trust, for him as a person. If a woman can no longer be trusted, then how can you continue to be in a relationship with her?
This is just a short list of those cases when a man will sooner or later leave a woman who regularly repeats one of the taboos. Some people will endure this for a long time, but patience will come to an end. Some will forgive only once, while others will not give a second chance at all. So, women, be a little wiser, and then your relationship with the stronger sex will be strong and long.
The ideal woman who will become a faithful wife and loving mother is the dream of every man. She must be kind, honest, selfless and caring. But not everyone is lucky. There are women who can ruin even the strongest relationships with their behavior.
Let's figure out that a man does not forgive a woman in order to avoid making a mistake. We present the 7 most common mistakes that the stronger sex cannot forgive.
And in response - silence...
Perhaps everyone loves compliments, praise and gifts. At the same time, it is very important not only to accept these benefits in your favor, but also to respond to them. After all, relationships presuppose mutual understanding and care. And often girls take, but do not give anything in return, believing that this is how it should be.
Psychologists say that praising your man is not only possible, but also necessary.
Men love compliments. This adds to their self-confidence, gives them incentive to take new actions, and they become more courageous.
A man, just like a woman, needs to know that you love him, and he wants to hear about it. Therefore, if you feel the care of your husband and hear warm words from him, then always give, at least in the same amount.
Jealousy is not the best expression of love
Feeling jealousy in a relationship is completely normal. But everything should be in moderation. And if jealousy begins to acquire a paranoid character, then this leads to the destruction of the couple. Usually such relationships are simply doomed.
Don't forget that you are not the center of the earth, and your lover's life does not revolve only around you. And every person needs personal space, time to relax and meet with friends, and just for himself.
If a woman constantly throws hysterics and stages scenes of jealousy, then she herself dooms this relationship, leading it to collapse. There is no need to smother your soulmate with jealousy, especially since neither men nor women like it in excess.
Remember that the main thing in a relationship is trust
No need to constantly check his pockets, messages and calls. This way you will only provoke another scandal, which at some point will break your relationship.
Unreasonable jealousy can lead to the breakdown of even the strongest relationships. While trust will help them develop and prosper.
Particular attention here should be given to the fact that girls quite often figure out the situation themselves, thereby creating new problems out of the blue. In such situations, it is better to pull yourself together in time, calm down and die off the ardor a little. Taking a more sober look at the situation, it may turn out that everything is absolutely normal. Remember that jealousy often ruins relationships.
Excessive requirements
This oversight applies more to self-sufficient and educated women who confidently know what they want and are looking for or waiting for their ideal man. Such representatives of the fairer sex often set inflated demands, which most often they place on themselves.
When compiling a list of criteria that her boyfriend must meet, they don’t even think that living according to the list, according to the instructions, is not only difficult, but also impossible. This acts as a destroyer of harmony within the family.
It is better to think soberly and realistically. Love your man for who he is, because his shortcomings and advantages create a unique personality. Don't forget that ideal people simply do not exist.
Less drama
Judge for yourself, would you really be pleased if someone next to you was constantly grumbling, making demands, ultimatums, and was always dissatisfied with something? So men do not tolerate such behavior, so they prefer to simply avoid the problem.
Make fewer scenes and accept the fact that in this life everyone will not dance to your tune. This also applies to your beloved man.
A girl should be able to be flexible and should be able to adapt to different situations. Be wiser, avoid dramatic scenes, giving preference to understanding. It is important not only to be able to keep your mouth shut sometimes, but also to express your opinion at exactly the right moment.
Why don't you read my mind?
Most women often dream of men reading their thoughts. But think soberly, because this is completely impossible! This only happens in movies, so don’t upset yourself with vain illusions.
And if a man, suspecting something wrong, asks you what went wrong, you should not answer him like “Everything is fine!” This is a very strange and wrong position
Men are very simple creatures, especially when compared to women. Sometimes they don’t even understand not only the hints, but the direct text. What then can we say about mind reading?
The best prevention of separation in this case is honesty and the ability to say everything directly. It is this direct text that men understand best.
A man is always wrong!
In any controversial situation, it is important to remember that both are to blame. Therefore, if a girl constantly points her finger at her lover, claiming that he is to blame for this or that situation.
Of course, it’s easier to think that anyone is to blame, but not yourself. But most often both partners are to blame, so both should bear responsibility for this.
There is no need to constantly point out to your loved one some oversights or mistakes. And never say that you are always right. It is important that the relationship be sincere. Then there will be no misunderstandings, shouting or hysterics.
Relationships are a kind of construction set that two people assemble. And the result of this construction depends only on this couple. Take care of each other, and don’t forget to love! And put all the disadvantages and negative aspects of the relationship into the background!
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