Open
Close

What to do when a child grows up selfish. Why do some children grow up to be selfish? Putting a child on a pedestal

Childish selfishness- this is a normal phenomenon for a child, which differs from adult egoism in its simplicity and primitiveness. Selfishness, along with other human qualities, is considered necessary for our survival. Of course, the upbringing of every child should be structured in such a way that his selfishness does not go beyond what is permitted and does not become the cause of many problems in adult life.

Children's selfishness: positive or negative

Traditionally, teenagers are accused of selfishness. But it happens that parents of children 2-4 years old complain about the selfishness of their children. Why is this happening? What's happened childish selfishness? We know that an egoist is a person who thinks only about himself. Of course, to consider in this way childish selfishness It’s not worth it, since the child’s personality has not yet formed.

Childish selfishness- this is egocentricity, which manifests itself in the fact that the child considers himself the center of the universe; he cannot imagine himself in the place of another person. That's why childish selfishness should be distinguished from the selfishness of an adult.

According to psychologists, up to the age of three childish selfishness- This is fine. At this time, the child is only interested in what brings him benefit and joy. By the age of four, children stop concentrating on their own “I”, begin to show interest in the team, learn to share and find compromises.

1. Forget the word “selfish”. Never call a child an egoist, because he can accept the image imposed on him, do everything to spite you only because he is driven by resentment.

2. From an early age, tell your child about those family problems that are understandable to him. This way he will quickly begin to understand the needs of other people and learn to empathize.

3. Teach your child that it is necessary to combine your own interests with the interests of other people, to defend your opinion, but using methods that are painless for others.

Selfishness can be outgrown

Psychologists say that children's egoism should disappear by the baby's first anniversary, by the age of 10. Childhood egoism is almost impossible to overcome, because this is a necessary stage in the development of a child’s personality; it can only be outgrown with proper upbringing.

A person is not born an egoist; a person can become an egoist due to improper upbringing. Therefore, the child must be taught to make independent decisions and take into account the opinions and desires of other people. The child must clearly understand that in addition to him in this world there are still parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents who also need care, attention and love.

A common misconception of parents, which leads to the fact that a selfish person grows up in the family, is that it is better to buy a child a new toy or clothes than to give him additional attention. Most often, it is children who have been deprived of parental attention who become selfish, evil people who are indifferent to people in general and to their loved ones.

So, grow out of childish selfishness together with your child, help him, support him, and everything will be fine.

Children are the meaning of our lives. This is the most precious thing God gives us, so we try to give them the best. Unfortunately, parental love often goes beyond boundaries, and the child grows up selfish. How to prevent this situation? What to do with children's egoism? Is it possible to re-educate a child? There are many questions and the answers to them are ambiguous. One thing is clear - if there is a problem, then every effort must be made to solve it. And the advice of experienced teachers and psychologists will help with this.

Psychologists say that a baby comes into this world as an egoist. He becomes the “center of the universe” for his parents and unconsciously feels his superiority. It turns out that selfishness is a character trait that is formed from the cradle. Until the age of 3, this is quite normal, but after this age, the child must gradually learn to communicate with other children, find a compromise, and share his toys. Parents should encourage this in every possible way. If this does not happen, then the child grows up narcissistic and emotionally cold to the needs of other people. The main reasons for children's selfishness:

  1. Selfishness of parents. The best way to educate is by example. It is not enough to tell children that they need to share and be attentive to others. You need to demonstrate this by your own example. Selfish parents raise selfish children.
  2. Excessive praise. Children need to be praised and encouraged - no one denies this. But everything should be in moderation. You shouldn’t tell your offspring that he is better than everyone else for any reason or no reason. Praise him only for meaningful actions.
  3. Excessive parental activity in terms of education. Overly caring or domineering parents suppress the child's personality, which leads to psychological immaturity. The child remains at the stage of a three-year-old baby and lives with the feeling that the whole world should “revolve” around him.

How to deal with children's egoism?

Do not despair if you notice that a selfish child is growing up in your family. Try to pay attention to this issue as early as possible and you will be able to raise a responsible and emotionally mature person.

  1. Get your baby used to household chores. He can collect toys, fold clothes, wash dishes. Small assignments instill in children a sense of responsibility and teach them to care about other people. If so, also take advice from psychologists.
  2. Don't force your opinion on your child. Try to advise, suggest, but do not make decisions for him. From childhood, a person must learn to take responsibility for his actions.
  3. Negative experience is a good teacher. You should not protect your child from him. This does not mean at all that you need to leave him alone with the problem that has arisen. But you shouldn’t be afraid of such situations. This is the only way children can learn responsibility and independence.
  4. The child should have his own small responsibilities: cleaning the room, watering the flowers, caring for pets, etc.
  5. Take an interest in your child’s inner world as often as possible. Ask how he is doing, what he remembers about today, who he likes to talk to and why, what he wants to read or watch. In this way, you show your care and attention to the little man. He will also learn from your example.
  6. At 3-4 years old, children are often capricious. This . If you constantly indulge these whims, they get used to consumerism and grow up to be selfish.
  7. Do a good deed once a week: visit an animal shelter, help an elderly neighbor, make a bird feeder, etc. Children should learn not only to take, but also to give.

How to re-educate?

If you missed the moment and your son or daughter began to show selfish traits, do not give up. The situation can be improved, although it is not easy.

  1. If your child starts to tantrum, give him time to calm down. Take him aside and calmly ask him what he doesn’t like and what he wants. Explain why you cannot fulfill his request. There is no need to ignore children's whims. This will not correct the situation, but will make it even worse. Your behavior will tell your baby that ignoring human feelings is normal. But this is exactly what the child needs to wean off.
  2. Explain to your baby that crying is not a way out of the situation. Give him several options for solving the problem. Let him choose any of them and try to solve the problem situation on his own.

But what to do if adult children are selfish? Unfortunately, it will no longer be possible to re-educate them. Unless they want it themselves. Parents just need to learn to communicate with them and find compromises.

Children's selfishness is a problem that worries many parents. You need to pay attention to it from early childhood. If the child has grown up to be selfish, do not despair. The situation can be corrected; you need to be patient and take advice from the best specialists.

Perhaps every reader, looking at the title of the article, will definitely remember this example: he, too, has met in his life wonderful families in which for some reason problem children grew up. Or maybe he himself faced the same problem: he tried to give everything to his children, but did not receive the expected return.

Most often this happens in families where the cult of children is pronounced. What does it mean? This means that the interests of all family members are subordinated to the child. It seems: what's wrong with this? The idea of ​​devoting your life to raising children is a very good one; Another thing is bad: parents should not forget about themselves and should not give the child the idea that he is in charge.

How does this happen?

This happens unnoticed. Gradually, all family members begin to be guided by one single rule: all the best goes to the child. Parents can deny themselves some goodies - let most (and sometimes all) of the purchased fruit go to their beloved child, he is growing... Dad and mom can wear the same boots or shoes as last season - the child needs a new thing. Adults can easily they may deny themselves holidays and weekends if they need to earn money for the “heir” or “heiress”. They will happily give up the best room: let the baby play or do homework where it is brighter and more spacious. A little later, parents will not skimp on tutors, even if they have to deny themselves everything; they will not be afraid to take on a burdensome loan, as long as their son or daughter gets the education they want. And so on. After some time, they will be left without all their savings or go into huge debts in order to organize a luxurious wedding for their child.

When will children begin to sacrifice their interests for the sake of their parents?

Most likely never. If they are used to receiving only from childhood, they do not have the mindset that they owe anything to anyone, especially their parents! The latter are simply obliged to solve all their problems. There is nothing to be done: the parents themselves inspired their children that they live only for them - they have no personal interests.

What to do to avoid becoming a “slave” of your own child?

– pamper without fanaticism: do not try to please in everything and indulge all whims;

– do not give extra money;

– teach responsibility: determine responsibilities at home, maintain the level of performance at school;

– explain to the child that mom and dad get tired at work and sometimes feel bad - at such moments they especially need help;

– everything that is tasty in the house should be divided equally among family members (or at least “don’t forget” about the parents).

Parents must watch their words

Do not under any circumstances emphasize the importance of the child in the family, do not utter the following words in front of him: “everything is for his sake,” “let him have what we didn’t have,” “we don’t feel sorry for anything for the child,” “if only only the child was content.” You may think and act like this, but understand: children take all words too straightforwardly. Such expressions are deposited in their subconscious, they begin to believe that parents are obliged in any situation to be guided only by such “slogans”; they simply do not have the right to deny something to their beloved son or daughter.

It is very difficult to rehabilitate an egoist

It is easier to prevent a child from becoming selfish than to subsequently re-educate him: and the older he gets, the less chance his parents will have that he will change. On the contrary, as the child grows, his needs will also grow: it will become increasingly difficult for parents to satisfy all his desires. In the end, it often turns out like this: no longer young parents simply get tired of resisting and meekly give their adult children everything they have, while remaining poor, useless, abandoned by old people!

To prevent this from happening in your life, rebuild your relationship with your children in time. Good luck and patience to you!

3 8 061 0

A selfish person is not the best friend, partner or interlocutor. Such people are shunned, distrusted, and avoid serious matters. In fact, one does not become selfish in one day. The formation of self-obsession and disregard for the interests of other people is preceded by a long process of cultivating egoism.

The conditions in which a person was raised from childhood, his environment and instilled values ​​determine the model of behavior and attitude towards others in adulthood.

Of course, every parent wants the best for their child. Therefore, the last piece is for the child. If she cries, we drop everything and run to console her. A more expensive and larger toy for your beloved child: “So, am I a bad mother?”

There is nothing wrong with striving to fill your childhood with the best. Periodically sacrificing your interests and adapting to the child’s needs is the norm. But, unfortunately, many parents overdo it with care and arranging comfortable conditions for their child. Wanting to provide love and satisfy the child as much as possible, adults forget about an important factor of socialization - respect for other people. It is the lack of respect for others, the awareness that “others need it too”, that are the main indicators of children’s selfishness.

Psychologists say that being selfish, especially for a child, is not bad. Selfishness is a character trait that helps you take care of yourself, defend your position, and get what you want. Without healthy egoism, it is difficult for a person to survive in society, become a full-fledged social element and feel comfortable. Keyword "healthy".

Children who have unhealthy characteristics are often called selfish.

Healthy selfishness

  • “Mom, get your brother out of the room, he’s stopping me from doing my homework!”(the child defends his interests).

Unhealthy

  • “I’ll take all my brother’s toys because that’s what I want!”(the child does not respect the interests of another without adequate justification).

Recognizing the fine line between healthy and unhealthy selfishness is not easy. Accordingly, there are many chances to take the wrong “path” and raise an egoist.

If you want to turn your “little deity” into a normal child and learn to behave in such a way as not to cultivate destructive selfishness in him, this article is for you. We will tell you everything about the manifestation of children's egoism and how parents should react to it correctly.

Causes of children's selfishness

Example of parents

The child perceives the parents’ behavior as a norm, which he adopts in the process of growth and development.

If adults are busy only with themselves, in relationships they downplay each other’s roles, do not give in, and get offended if it’s “not their way,” then the child will behave according to the same algorithm. To demand the opposite from your child, you yourself must first find out.

Occurs in families for whom it was difficult to get a baby (long years of infertility treatment, difficult pregnancy, etc.). Afraid that nothing will happen to the baby (subconscious fear of losing a long-awaited child), parents circle around him and fulfill all his whims, so as not to be offended and feel unloved.

Strong guardianship also occurs in single-parent families where the parent is left with the child (without a father, for example). An adult, feeling guilty about a dysfunctional family or the inability to devote time to a child due to work, indulges his whims, thus relieving himself of guilt.

Overprotection leads to the fact that the child does not show initiative in self-care, because everyone will do it for him anyway.


Putting a child on a pedestal

The baby is touched, praised and idolized, regardless of his behavior. The future Pushkin told a poem! He spat out the food - how funny it turned out! The child does not develop a critical attitude towards his own behavior and is free to do whatever he wants. At the same time, ethics, politeness and respect for others are not taken into account. The child is simply not taught by adults what this is all about.

The reasons for the formation of children's egoism are in the plane of relationships between adults in the family, their personal motivation and behavior.

Signs of a Selfish Child

From birth to 3 years

  • He is inquisitive, so he dumps the contents of cabinets and nightstands. Not in order to burden mom with cleaning later.
  • He wants to eat, so he cries. Not because he doesn’t understand that mom didn’t have time to cook.
  • He takes a toy from a neighbor not because he wants to steal it, but because it is very beautiful.

Preschoolers 3-6 years old

At this age, unhealthy selfishness may begin to appear. The child already understands that he lives in society, that there are other people, etc. Can throw a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. May show aggression, withdraw into himself, sulk and be offended.

At this age, selfishness is manifested by an inadequate reaction to a ban. Anything that doesn’t suit him – he immediately starts crying. And the parents’ reaction to the child’s emotions can both reinforce selfishness and prevent it.

Have you read our article about? If not, we highly recommend it.

Schoolchildren and teenagers

  • After 7 years, children's egoism takes on a stable form of disregard for others and can manifest itself in rudeness, when children begin to use bad words towards adults, for example, interrupting, not listening at all.
  • Can use physical force (catch up and take away, beat, hit) if he does not get what he wants with words. At the same time, voicing what you want becomes unnecessary, since those around you “should” telepathically understand and instantly provide it.
  • Children may refuse their responsibilities around the house or school if mom doesn't buy new jeans.
  • Or manifest: if I don’t get it in a good way, then I’ll steal it, for example.

The dire consequences that await

Relationships with others

Egoists are conflicting, touchy people. If they don’t get what they want, they are ready to blame others, point out shortcomings or short-sightedness, point out insensitivity and lack of understanding.

The other feels ridiculous, since the requests and demands of the egoist may run counter to capabilities or common sense. Who would want to listen to accusations from a seemingly sane adult who must solve his own problems?

Personal life

Building long-term relationships with an egoist is problematic, since the partner plays the role of a servant rather than an equal.

Egoists, like capricious children, always demand attention, care and respect for themselves, not realizing that this is not always possible. There is no talk at all about mutual care in such couples, everything is only for the egoist.


Attitude towards yourself

Egoists often have inflated self-esteem; they are confident in their exclusivity and divinity. They expect others to treat them accordingly. Life demonstrates otherwise, therefore, egoists feel like victims of other people and circumstances, whine and hate everyone. And they hardly think about the role they themselves play in the fact that something doesn’t work out.

Selfishness is a lack of responsibility for what happens in life.

How to re-educate children's selfishness

Every parent can eradicate children's selfishness.

The main thing is to be patient and realize that it is better to suffer now than to release a person unadapted to life into life.

Determine your child's responsibilities around the house based on age.

  • A 3-year-old can throw candy papers in the trash;
  • 15-year-old teenager - wash the floors in the house.

By doing this, you will form an understanding that there are obligations to others.

  • Build self-care skills. The child must be able to dress himself, eat, make his bed and learn his homework.

Don't over-praise. Praise only for what is done to the best of the child’s ability. This way you will learn to bring things to the end, to be critical of what you have done.

We have a useful article on our website about not overpraising. We recommend reading.

  • Ask for help. Parents should ask for help not only when they no longer have the strength, but also preventively.

Take out the trash, spend time with your little brother, make a sandwich. This way you will learn to care about others and realize that “they are not the only ones.” Be sure to thank them for your help, this will reinforce your desire to do more.

  • Less control. Give the child his area of ​​responsibility.

You shouldn't wake up a 14-year-old for school. If he is late, it is his responsibility, which means he will receive a scolding. Next time he'll get up on time. Give him the opportunity to have a negative experience. It is he who creates responsibility.

  • Talk about your difficulties. Sometimes there is not enough time, money, health. Tell your child about this. Let him learn to empathize and empathize with others.
  • Expand the circle of your own interests, so the child will understand that the world does not revolve only around him. We advise you to start.
  • Love your child and talk about it.

A loving parent is not someone who allows everything. And the one who teaches to live and feel happy in specific conditions of possible deprivations, obstacles, and shortfalls.

Prohibited parenting methods

Prohibited Method No. 1

Demonstratively say: “From today you urgently begin to live differently! I stop caring about you. Your responsibilities are as follows...".

Such a proclamation would confuse even an adult. I lived alone for 10 years, and then everything changes suddenly, why is this? The child will not take this seriously and may stage a protest.

Prohibited Method No. 2

You deliberately express dissatisfaction with selfishness: “Here, they raised it on their own head!”

The question is, who raised and who allowed the child to become selfish? His character is your responsibility.

Method No. 3

Criticize and focus on selfishness in front of peers or adults. This is how you show disrespect for the child.

№ 4

Shift responsibility for your child’s selfishness to others: clubs, schools, kindergartens. It was not there that an egoist was raised, but at your home.

№ 5

Never led to a change in motivation. If a child was beaten for not sharing candy, then next time he will share because of fear of pain, but not because of the desire to please someone else.

№ 6

You don’t explain, you just demand.

It is important to explain to the child the norms and rules of behavior, to voice motivation and expediency. If the child does not understand why it is necessary to do this and not otherwise, he will not do so.

№ 7

Become selfish yourself. This method is akin to: “Here, I’ll show you yourself!”, when parents themselves begin to behave like children and demand: “Spin me, spin me!”

  1. Firstly, it is stressful for the child, who is already selfish and does not understand why the parents want something for no reason.
  2. Secondly, all that can be achieved is aggression on the part of the child, because your behavior will require skills that the child simply does not possess: care, responsibility, compassion.

How not to raise an egoist

Don't make a cult of a child. A baby is happiness, but there are other family members who require a caring attitude.

  • Teach to share, listen, and have compassion for others.
  • Explain the rules of behavior in society and show by example.
  • Do something besides the child to reduce the degree of overprotection.
  • Praise for real achievements, and not for the fact that he has beautiful eyes.

Demand only what he has been taught. If you don’t know how to fold trousers, first teach them, then demand they do it. And not: “God, how stupid you are!” - and they put it together themselves.

  • Ask for whatever help you can.
  • Be clear about each family member's responsibilities for running the household.
  • Do not neglect children's groups, where the child learns social interaction.

Learn to solve your problems yourself. Discuss possible solutions, give advice, but don’t deal with your classmate Kolya, who secretly copied your homework.

    TATYANA BELOKONSKAYA, especially for the site

    Video for the material

    If you see an error, please select a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

It is generally accepted that selfishness is characteristic only of adults. In fact, egoism begins its development from birth, even the conception of a person. It’s just that parents initially react positively to its manifestations, only then starting to reproach the child for being selfish. Children's selfishness really does exist. If your child is like this, then you will definitely want to get advice from a psychologist on how to overcome it.

Every parent should distinguish healthy selfishness from unhealthy. Selfishness is inherent in absolutely all people. It is inherent by nature in every person from birth. A child should not be spared from healthy egoism, because then he will become a weak-willed victim of all the people who will surround him. At the same time, one must fight against unhealthy egoism, which makes a person a greedy, vain, narcissistic and inadequate individual.

  • Healthy egoism is aimed at growth, personal development, knowledge of the world around us, and maintaining one’s well-being and happiness.
  • Unhealthy egoism is aimed at a consumerist attitude towards others, self-exaltation at their expense, and neglect. Here they say that a person (child) thinks only about himself, and when he does not get what he wants, he begins to be capricious, aggressive or offended.

Healthy egoism is manifested, for example, in the fact that a child begins to cry when he is hungry, wants to do everything himself in order to develop certain vital skills, and is interested in those types of activities that develop him as a person. If parents begin to interfere with the child’s development and growth, then they will destroy him as a person.

Unhealthy selfishness manifests itself, for example, in the fact that a child takes away other people's toys, forces parents to do his homework, and treats others as service personnel. If parents do not take up the task of raising a child, then they can raise a tyrant, an egoist, a criminal or an outcast from society.

What is childish egoism?

Children's selfishness is most often attributed to a negative quality. What it is? This is a quality of character when a child satisfies his personal needs and desires. If unhealthy selfishness manifests itself, then this causes resentment among adults. The child thinks exclusively about his own benefit and benefit, putting personal desires above those of others. This differs from healthy egoism, when a child is engaged in satisfying his needs, which help him grow, improve, and assert himself.

What kind of selfishness a child will have depends on the upbringing of the parents. This quality is acquired, although it takes its roots from instinctive impulses - the survival instinct.

At the beginning of life, children's selfishness is a normal manifestation, which is based on the survival instinct. If a child is hungry, he doesn’t like something or is uncomfortable, he announces this by crying loudly. He is not interested in the needs of his parents, their desires and their state of health. This should be treated normally, since this is the only way the baby can survive until he has all the necessary self-care skills.

However, as the child grows, his upbringing begins. If parents indulge all the whims and desires of the child, satisfy all the needs, admire his personality, compare him with other children and call him the best, praise him for the slightest action, then they develop complacency and selfishness in him. This develops unhealthy selfishness when the child does not know about boundaries and limits.

Psychologists believe that it is quite normal to indulge a child in everything and react to him until he reaches 3 years of age. Around the age of 3, the child begins to separate himself from other people, becomes aware of his “I”, and begins to delimit his own space. It is from this age that all measures should be taken that combine caring for the child, providing for him, and raising him as a non-selfish person.

Selfishness is best eliminated in a children's group. Here, other children will not allow the child to offend them, although there are exceptions. Only within the family does children's egoism flourish when parents indulge and encourage the child in everything. Over time, such developed egoism will appeal to the child, who will now consider himself “cool” because he “builds adults.” In adolescence, it will make the teenager difficult to control, and in adulthood it will create numerous problems in relationships with others.

Selfishness makes a person mentally callous, which will also not please parents who continue to make their child an egoist. A selfish person is not able to accept someone else's point of view and get along with people.

Children's selfishness - how to overcome it?

To overcome children's selfishness, parents will have to change their upbringing measures. It should be understood that it was mom and dad who did everything to make their child become selfish. Re-education begins with them when they change the tactics of raising their baby. It consists of the following:

  1. A child is taught to work when, for example, he has to help his parents or clean up his toys.
  2. The child is told “no” and “no”. You should show your child that not all his whims will be fulfilled at the first “I want.” It is necessary to say “you can’t”, set boundaries, create boundaries beyond which you are not allowed, otherwise punishment will come.
  3. The child is praised for the actions that he actually performed. You shouldn't praise for everything. Praise those actions that are truly important and valuable.
  4. The child should not be compared with other children. Comparison always leads to competition. If a child is better than everyone else, then he simply grows up narcissistic. If the child is the worst, then he begins to hate everyone, which he does.
  5. The child should be given enough attention. He should feel that he is thought about, loved and cared for. His whims are not indulged, he is simply given the most important thing for every person.
  6. The child should say “no” and stand his ground. He will be capricious. If parents retreat from their position, then they will secretly make it clear that they should continue to be capricious if the child wants to get his way. He will learn to think exclusively about himself.
  7. The child should not be given the “last” and “most delicious”. The latest and most delicious should be shared, for example, with dad or mom. This teaches the child to be equal.
  8. The child should be asked not only about what happened to him throughout the day, but also about what his friends did.

Parents may make a mistake and not notice how they have developed selfishness in their child. Typical parenting mistakes are:

  • Inadequate assessment of the child. He should not be elevated in comparison to others. Don't praise for something that doesn't exist.
  • Imposing your desires and interests on a child, which reduces his motivation and interest.
  • Paying money for housework or getting good grades in school.
  • Doing the child's work for him.
  • Be selfish yourself, because a child always copies his parents.
  • Decreased self-esteem of the child, which can lead to rebellion.

Parents must change their behavior towards the baby, which may include the following:

  1. Eliminating petty supervision: waking you up in the morning, spoon-feeding, sitting next to you while doing homework, explaining everything, etc.
  2. Accustomed to helping parents around the house, which is not paid.
  3. Allowing your child to make mistakes and have negative experiences. Allow your child to make some decisions on his own.
  4. Expanding the child’s social environment, where he comes into contact with other people who can correct his selfishness.

It should be remembered that the child will soon grow up and go out into the big world of people, where no one will look after him, court him and indulge his whims. To make it easier for your child to build relationships with other people in the future, you should rid him of childish egoism. The advice of a psychologist will help here.

Selfishness should not be viewed as an exclusively negative quality. If a child develops, improves and learns about the world around him, then his selfishness is justified. It should be understood that a child can show unhealthy selfishness in primitive ways: crying, resentment, whims, hysterics. It is when they manifest themselves that one should remain calm and steadfast in the position of “no means no.” The child will then learn a lot.

It is quite natural for every child to be capricious in various ways at first when he does not get his way. This is where selfishness comes into play. However, the calmness and stable position of adults can show the child that in this world not everything revolves around his “I want”, “give”, etc.

It is not recommended to make your child “the best” or, conversely, compare him with others, pointing out his shortcomings. There's nothing wrong with your child, he's normal. He cannot be better or worse than others, otherwise such educational measures will only cause selfishness or aggression in him.

A child should not be taught to love others. This will make him a victim in the hands of others. Let's not forget that people who want to please everyone become victims in the hands of manipulators. If you don’t want your child to be taken advantage of, cultivate in him self-love and respect for others, as well as the skill of noticing when other selfish people are using him.

Your child lives in the same world in which all adults live (including you). It should be understood that as the baby grows up and goes out into the outside world, he gradually faces various restrictions, boundaries, rules and prohibitions. If a child is selfish, then he does not understand these limitations, tries to fight them with whims and suffers from this himself. At the same time, he directs all the anger for his own failures and lack of success at those who sincerely love him. Often in this case we are talking about parents.

If you cannot re-educate a selfish child on your own, you should seek the help of a specialist. This can be done on the psychological help website, where consultants will initially work through the whole situation and give useful advice.

Bottom line

Childish selfishness is a natural manifestation of a child who is fighting for his own survival. However, gradually the child’s desires and needs grow, which is why he begins to desire more than he needs for life and well-being. It is precisely in selfish and selfish desires that it is recommended to stop the child. This will lead to a positive outcome when the child understands what can and cannot be done.

This task falls on parents, who can use gentle measures to help the child become a “healthy egoist.” Otherwise, society will engage in re-education, which will hit his “selfish” nature much harder and more painfully.