My wife left for someone else but wants to communicate. What to do if your wife left for someone else and is it possible to get her back? How to turn back time

Hello!

You wrote a very serious situation, both in terms of action and in terms of the conflicting emotions that you experience towards your wife.

But let's take it in order... first of all, you want to understand and figure out how you should behave with her... first, we will find out who she is now to you? Well, firstly, she doesn’t live with you, she left, insisted on divorce, but that’s not the main thing. The main thing is that she doesn’t live with you... that is, she doesn’t show herself as a wife. She found another partner for life... It doesn’t matter who he is by gender, I left the children to you. And what I’m going to tell you now may cause you to protest, but nevertheless, I think so and perhaps you will understand me and accept this axiom that your wife did not cheat on you. In the context of the fact that betrayal is betrayal... He from She left you - yes - that’s a fact... But in what ways did she betray you? Its actions are essentially aimed at obtaining new types of pleasures and experiences. Dot. It's hard to argue with this. Yes, I left you for another person... I didn’t leave you. She left... Because in this situation you are a full-fledged, socially protected, independent man, mentally and physically healthy. So. that her departure is not something that inevitably leaves you in a difficult current situation... BUT, as for children, in my opinion, the most real and monstrous betrayal for children has occurred here. betrayal. Because your children are not 20 years old. And your daughters are 4 and 7 years old. The very age when a child begins to form, when both parents are needed. And in this situation of leaving, the husband can say - If you fell in love and decided to leave, leave - I won’t keep you... But what can she say to the children in this situation... When a small child tells her one simple phrase - mom - are you leaving me? And what about me??? And your mother will babble something chaotic and incomprehensible, that your mother loves you, but will just live separately for now, but will definitely visit you. And who will she be? Sunday Mom? This happens more often to fathers... And how are they perceived? As if they were paying off some kind of debt. And here, the only one, and in this case, the only one who will be abandoned, before whom betrayal will be committed, are the children... They are not yet independent, they need what they had.

I don't quite understand where you are describing The fact is that she regularly, as before, asks me for various help /// on what basis does she ask you for this?? On what basis are you helping her with this? who is she to you... She has lost the function of a wife. And divorce is not needed here. You can be husband and wife without a stamp... Now she is not your wife. Perhaps later she will become your wife again, but not now. You don’t even need to think here. So - as soon as you decide, and most importantly, realize who she is to you. then it will immediately become clear what and how to do. So, at the moment she is not your wife, but she has not stopped being a mother. And regarding your common children, you can carry out mutual assistance and activities. I don’t understand other types of help. After all, she lives in a different place, with a different partner (male/female, it doesn’t matter), she has a different life... What do you want to help her with? Or is it coming from a place of pity?
If you would like to understand this situation in more detail, please contact us. I try to help.

I wish you to find the strength and patience to survive this moment!

Sincerely, Konstantin Shumilin.

Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer “Hello! You wrote a very serious situation, both in terms of actions and in terms of contradictory ones...” to the question http://www.. Can I discuss this answer with you?

The most detailed description: prayer if the wife left for someone else - for our readers and subscribers.

How to get your wife back if she fell in love with someone else? This question is asked by many men whose relationship with their spouse has reached a dead end. Most people are convinced that if a wife has left for her lover, then nothing can be done. This is actually a misconception. Real feelings do not pass so quickly, because relationships are built, developed and maintained over years. Only certain efforts are required from partners in order to bring the relationship back to its previous level. A person who gives up without trying is insecure or doubts his own capabilities.

What to do if your wife loves someone else? What to do: leave or return? Here you need to look at the situation. Much depends on the internal motivation of the person who was abandoned. To understand how to survive this trauma, you need to learn to rely on your inner strength. Just picking up and leaving, doing everything to forget the departed is not always a suitable option. Indeed, in this case, a person will suffer for a long time, suffer, not understanding why he suffered such severe trials. What to do if your wife leaves for someone else? Let's try to figure it out.

Consider the situation

Of course, it is very disappointing when someone appears in the life of your other half and distracts all the attention. Most men cannot come to terms with the idea that a stranger interferes with their tender union with particular impudence. A man who is angry cannot calmly accept such a thought. It is important to be able to consider the situation from different angles before taking action. To do this, you need to calm down and stop being nervous. Of course, this is sometimes difficult to do, because anger and resentment overshadow everything else.

Working with your own feelings will help you avoid irreparable consequences. It is important not to drag out the situation, but to try to return the wife to the family as soon as it happened. When a lot of time passes, people become unaccustomed to each other and even stop suffering. After a year or two, this will no longer make any sense. The point is not that there was no love, but that, having spent too much energy on getting rid of suffering, you don’t want to return to the situation at all.

To apologize

How to get your wife back from your lover? Sometimes it is enough to simply sincerely ask for forgiveness. The fact is that when there are too many grievances, they begin to put extreme pressure on the psyche. This makes it difficult to feel happy. The accumulation of grievances prevents people from truly enjoying each other's intimacy. Admitting your mistakes increases the chances that your loved one will return.

In many cases, you will have to completely reconsider your views on life. You just need to act sincerely in the question of how to get your wife back if she has left for someone else. The more conscious the rejected spouse's actions become, the sooner he will be able to achieve a satisfactory result.

Working with grievances

No man can calmly watch his wife fall in love with another. Dark thoughts immediately come to mind, a feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness appears. It is necessary to work with grievances. Otherwise, it can actually prevent you from keeping your family together. Even if mental pain prevents you from thinking sensibly, you can only believe in the best and not give up.

By working on his own character, a person becomes stronger, his consciousness opens, he becomes invulnerable to any external adversity. It is very important to have an inner core within yourself, not to allow yourself to become limp and despair.

If a wife falls in love with another, it is worth remembering that this is not always true. Even she herself can be very mistaken about her own feelings. In most cases, she is simply irritated by some of her husband’s behavior, and thus tries to annoy him. Instead of throwing ashes on your head and grieving over your own unfulfilled hopes, you should think sensibly about what is happening and make the right decision. Only in this case, perhaps, it will be possible to resolve the issue of how to get your wife back after cheating. In most cases, the lover functions as a substitute object. And this means that he is not really of great value to her.

Stop asking

People who have ever tried to restore a broken relationship know how difficult it is to get your significant other to want to communicate again. One of the most painful and pressing questions is this: how to regain the trust of a husband after his wife’s betrayal? The easiest way is to achieve physical intimacy and it is very difficult to achieve a state of spiritual harmony when both partners really trust each other.

You need to stop constantly begging for a meeting, running after a woman every day. You should not rush in front of her with statements that life is over and nothing bright lies ahead. All this only pushes away from the goal and interferes with its achievement. A person who constantly rushes from despair to hope cannot radiate self-confidence. This approach does not in any way contribute to the resumption of relationships.

Appearance

A man in love needs to arouse sincere, genuine interest on the part of his beloved. To do this, you should never neglect your appearance. If the wife left, it means something didn’t suit her. When thinking about how to maintain a relationship, you need to carefully work on yourself. I need to get myself in order.

It is unlikely that she will like tousled, unwashed hair, unkempt clothes, or the unpleasant smell emanating from her ex-husband. You wouldn’t even want to be around someone like that, because girls are incredibly sensitive to smells and impressions. If you want to fight for love, then you need to properly prepare for this.

Joint hobbies

Falling in love again will not be difficult if people have common topics of conversation. Spending time together incredibly brings you closer, creates a feeling of spiritual kinship and the need for the presence of this particular person nearby. If the ex-partner is attentive, caring, and interesting in himself as a person, then the woman may doubt the correctness of her actions.

Every normal person wants to have the best partner next to him, who would be a reliable and faithful companion. It is quite possible to win back your spouse through joint hobbies.

Thus, when thinking about how to survive the departure of your wife and whether it is possible to bring her back, it is worth noting that there cannot be a clear solution here. You need to take full responsibility for yourself. The worst thing you can do is to constantly jump between your own assumptions and not make any attempts. Resuming a relationship after a breakup requires cold calculation and a balanced decision. This is painstaking work that helps to cope with despair and resentment, and to win back your beloved from your lover. In many situations, men manage to get their wives back and live happily with them in the future.

Strong and effective conspiracies to bring back your beloved woman

No matter how carefully men treat magic, there are life situations when even representatives of the stronger sex turn to magicians for help.

With the help of magic you can bring back your beloved girl

A man’s brain is designed in such a way that it is easier for them to believe in what is proven and what is felt materially, but magic is not an easy matter.

You cannot expect lightning-fast results from any prayer or conspiracy. You should completely immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the sent energy. If you think and set yourself up correctly, the result will not take long to arrive.

How to choose the right plot

Today there are many different rituals that are aimed at bringing back the woman you love. Before you start choosing the necessary spell, you need to imagine your loved one; it’s good to have a photograph with you to make it easier to recreate the image. A conspiracy to return a beloved woman is a powerful magical ritual that is carried out in an atmosphere of complete concentration. The right attitude will help you choose exactly the option that is ideal in a particular case.

Correct execution of the ritual is the key to success

When a person has chosen a ritual that, in his opinion, ideally suits his specific life situation, it does not hurt to properly prepare for its implementation:

Before performing the ritual, a man needs to rest properly

1. If the ritual is performed at home, you should mentally prepare for it: relax and tune in to the problem that worries you.
2. Love spells and conspiracies are magical rituals. In order for them to be safe, it is better to use white magic prayers. The texts of white magic do not wish harm to the charmed person, while the prayers of black magic can carry a bad meaning. For example, for a woman who left to wither and dry up without a man.
3. It is best to perform rituals during the period when the moon is waxing in the sky. It is a symbol of growth, as well as the growth of a woman's love for a man.

You should not use love spells that are associated with a cemetery. There is a possibility that due to lack of experience, the ritual will harm your loved one.

A conspiracy to bring back the woman you love

This ritual takes its roots from ancient times. The men performed it in the field, they went far, so that there was not a soul around, and began to read certain words. The conspiracy served not only as a talisman for the relationship between a man and a woman, but also as protection from the influence of outsiders. Such a ritual binds a woman to a man and eliminates all thoughts of betrayal.

Today, the conspiracy is carried out in several stages: the prayer must be read for two weeks. Waking up early in the morning, go outside and read the necessary words.

You should never drink water before the ritual.

You cannot wash, eat or drink before the ritual. Here are the words of the conspiracy:

"God! Gracious and kind! Protect my family from evil fate. Cover with your protection and will, so that (name) and I do not have another share! So that they love, cherish their feelings, respect each other, and give birth to children. Lord, I'm in trouble! Beloved (name) is gone forever! I trust only in Your will, I wish to return my beloved! Lord, I will humble myself and submit to you! Judge by your own will and kindness! And bring my beloved into my arms. Lord, keep our love forever. I bow to You, Your faithful man. (Your name) I pray, come to help! Open the way for my beloved! Amen!".

After the beloved woman has been returned, it is strictly forbidden to tell anyone about the ritual.

Conspiracy to get your wife back

A conspiracy to return your wife is carried out using anise oil and white bread.

In the evening, cut off a piece of bread and apply a few drops of anise oil to it.

In the bedroom shared with his wife, crumble this bread on the bed. The crumbs should be scattered so that they are on the sheets and pillows. At this time, you are supposed to read the prayer:

“The Lord brought us together! He forbade tearing. As the Lord's Will is good, so strong is our love. She will tan with her former strength again! As soon as your head touches the sheet, you will feel dizzy with love! I crown my wife (name) with the name of the Lord; I forbid the destruction of the family! The angels are behind me, standing as one wall! Amen!".

After the ritual, collect all the crumbs in a handkerchief

These words are read slowly and need to be repeated seven times. After finishing the prayer, the crumbs are collected in a handkerchief, which is tightly tied and hidden away from human eyes. If possible, try to add them to your wife's food. If the wife does not spend the night at home, she must somehow be lured, because in order for the conspiracy to work, she must lie in bed. Only when the woman spends the night on the charmed sheets is the ritual complete.

Powerful love spell on your beloved woman using water

In the bedroom, a glass of water is placed at the head of the bed. The water is first spoken with the following prayer, read three times:

“Animal passion of the servant of God (name), wake up, take hold of me.”

At night you need to be in an excited state and imagine scenes of intimacy with your beloved woman. Water is the best element for absorbing any information. In the morning, a man must spill half a glass of water on himself, and the other half on the desired object. This strong love spell will lead to the fact that the woman will not be able to think about anything other than intimacy with a man.

Spell on the hair of a beloved woman

This ritual is quite simple, the only difficulty is that it requires the hair of the woman whom the man plans to conjure.

The spell with a comb is one of the most powerful

The ritual is performed like this: take a comb and wrap the woman’s hair around it, saying:

“I call for swamp mud, thick cobwebs, forest twigs. I reel in ardent love, a bright soul, a fiery passion. Just as the hair of a slave (name) with the hair of a slave (his name) is tightly intertwined and does not get tangled, so the love of (his beloved’s name) for a slave (his name) stretches, winds and grows.”

After the ritual, comb your hair with this comb. The result should be expected soon.

Conspiracy in the photo

The most effective rituals are those that use photographs. It is important to choose the right photo. The photo should only show the woman they want to talk to. The presence of not only strangers, but also animals and inanimate objects is excluded.

The only one whose presence in the photograph is allowed is the man performing the ritual.

This ritual must be performed during sunrise

The ritual is carried out in the morning, at sunrise. On the back of the photograph, write down the text of the conspiracy and read:

“As the sun rises in the morning, so love flares up in the heart of the slave (Name). Just as the sun shines, so let your love for me (your name) shine brighter than it in your heart. Just as the sun dries the earth, so you will dry out and yearn without me. Just as people are drawn to the red sun, so you will be drawn to me. You will have no life without me, just as people have no life without the sun. My word is strong and firm. Amen!".

Before yesterday comes, the photograph should be wrapped in a dark cloth and hidden under the mattress or under the bed. She will be there until she manages to return her beloved woman.

Love spell on fire

This is one of the most powerful conspiracies to get your wife back. Several small candles are placed on the table near the mirror. One of the main conditions of the conspiracy is that it is carried out in complete darkness.

The spell for church candles must be done at night, in complete darkness.

Seven church candles are placed in the middle of the table and lit. Peering at your reflection in the mirror, you should imagine the appearance of your beloved and shout her name seven times. After each cry, one church candle is extinguished. They walk around the table counterclockwise seven times, repeating the prayer:

“Just as the flame does not go out without my knowledge, so you, the servant of God (name), will not take a single step without me! You will burn with fire when you see me! I'll cool you down! Until then it will be like this forever and ever! Amen!".

The remaining candles are left to burn out and cannot be extinguished. The remaining seven church candles are placed under the pillow and go to bed. In the morning, the effect of the love spell will be noticeable and soon your beloved will be returned.

Orthodox prayer for the return of a wife to the family

It is not difficult to get your wife back with the help of very strong prayer. They must read it before the icon, every day:

“Oh, great miracle workers, saints of God, Prince Peter and Princess Fevronia! I turn to you, I pray to you with bitter hope. Bring prayers about me, a sinful servant (your name), to the Lord God himself and the Mother of God, the Mother of the Virgin Mary. And ask the goodness of God’s servant (wife’s name): Faith and truth, hope, goodness, unfeigned love! Help my heart and my beloved, God's servant (wife's name), to be together. Amen! Amen! Amen!".

During prayer, a candle is lit. When the wife returns, you should visit the church and thank all the saints for their help.

An ancient plot to return a wife to the family

This ritual is very simple, but effective and will help bring back the wife who left the family. So that the beloved burns with the same feelings and cannot think about anyone, they take her photograph and place it in front of them.

Take holy water to bring back your loved one

Holy water is poured into a glass, three sips are taken and a prayer is read over the remaining water:

“Just as a person cannot live without water, so this servant of God (name), without the servant of God (name) cannot live. Amen".

This ancient, powerful prayer will help you achieve results in the shortest possible time. After reading, you need to sprinkle holy water on the photo three times and hide it so that no one can see. You cannot tell anyone about the ritual performed even after you succeed in getting your wife back.

Conspiracy for the new month

In order to return a woman who left recently (more than six months have passed since the breakup), they carry out a powerful conspiracy for the new month.

To do this, at exactly midnight, looking at the month, say the following words:

“The month is young, the month is the strongest, help me. Make sure that the servant of God (name) returns to me, the servant of God (name). I can’t live without her, I can’t live without her, I feel sadness, my heart aches from misfortune. Bring her back to me so that we can live and not grieve. They knew no troubles, they knew no sorrows. Help me, month, help!

This plot is read nine times, after which, without talking to anyone, they go to bed. This ritual is performed for a week without missing a single day. Results will be visible in a few weeks.

If a woman leaves and holds a grudge

Bringing back an offended woman is not easy, but this powerful plot will help you reconcile in the shortest possible time and restore your love relationship. Quarrels and grievances are represented in the form of a black ball and separated from oneself. Mentally placing this ball in the snow. And they say these words:

“It will be covered with snow, it will calm down. It will be covered with ice until the right time.”

The plot helps to freeze accumulated anger and resentment and will lead to a constructive dialogue between husband and wife. To prevent the resentment from returning, it is better not to enter that place after the snow has melted, so this ritual should be performed away from the places where you often visit.

Bringing your beloved woman back through a love spell is not difficult. If the spell is carried out correctly, the result will be visible very quickly.

But before turning to magic, you should analyze the relationship in detail and understand what exactly pushed the woman to leave. If you do not correct the mistakes that caused quarrels in relationships, the effect of any love spell will not last long.

• 12/20/2017 Natalya Hello everyone! I came across a similar situation, with mu.
• 12/19/2017 Tatyana At home at work, not everyone has health problems.
• 12/11/2017 Anonymous I want to meet the buyer in person so that he can.
• 12/10/2017 Maria I wonder if I will get my very first copy.

Greetings. My name is Valery.

I was trying to solve the problem of unrequited love. There was little hope: I was of no interest to my chosen one, and at some points I even caused rejection. She liked a completely different type of guy, which I did not fit into. The love spell changed her character. She started to like me.

We started meeting regularly and spending time together. After some time, we started living together and she introduced me to her parents. We are currently married and expecting a child.

I would like to recommend to those who are looking for a way out of a difficult situation the proven psychic and sorcerer George.

lovemagic-voodoo dot ru

Seven nine nine nine zero forty two forty two twenty three. Sorcerer George

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A lot depends on the atmosphere within the family. And this calm environment is greatly disturbed if the spouse decides to leave for a completely different representative of the stronger sex.

Returning to normal after this is not an easy task, but there is no other way. Everyone knows that life only gives us problems that we can solve. The key here is time. You can't dwell on the problem. You need to find the strength to move on in life.

Topics of the material

This is not a dream, but reality!

First, you should realize that this is not a joke or a dream. Everything happens in all seriousness, here and now in real life. This can be called a lesson from life, which brought pain, but still a lesson. This means that something in your life needs to change: a goal, aspiration, your values ​​or views. A relationship is something that is divided into two. If they are violated, then both sides made mistakes.

It is worth thinking carefully about where the miscalculation was made. Thus, the beautiful person made her last attempt to attract your attention to herself. Now you need to put all your thoughts together and analyze this morally difficult event. If you change your behavior, then maybe your wife will return to you. It is not difficult. Remember how your relationship began, what you were like, and how you were able to win her heart.

But if a woman no longer intends to return, then no matter how difficult it may be, she will have to put an end to this and move on with her life, without relying on attachment to her. Clarification of relationships, disputes and showdowns will no longer help here and will not fix anything. It doesn’t matter anymore who is right and who is wrong. The only important thing is that this difficult situation must be experienced from the psychological, physical and material sides.

How should we behave now?

A new model of behavior needs to be built based on the attitude towards yourself, towards your now ex-wife and everyone around you.

• Of course, self-pity will immediately arise. It must be rejected from the beginning, not allowing it to go far. To extinguish this, you can overload yourself with work, household chores or sports. Don’t forget about mental stress, which will drive away bad thoughts. An extra shift at work or a small part-time job is perfect. It would not be superfluous to check your financial situation. Check who the property is registered in, what the current balance is on each account, this is also very important. If there is a search for a new place of residence, use this to quickly realize the fact of betrayal. You will be able to react to this much more calmly, and the taste for life will return to you.
• You will have hatred towards your wife or a desire to beg her to come back. This won't help you at all. A woman is responsible for her own needs. You are not suitable for her, then she is not suitable for you either. In the end, it's only for the better. However, it is worth resolving all the problems of the money plan. You need to understand how to conduct educational activities in relation to children, if you have them. The discussion of this nuance must be carried out carefully and without unnecessary nerves and try to resolve all the nuances without swearing. Let the divorce process go smoothly. There is no need to make an enemy; it is better to part ways diplomatically.
• The largest number of problems lie in your environment. Mutual friends will stop being mutual, accepting the point of view of one of you, or they will try to reconcile you, and use different and sometimes rude methods. In addition, you will learn new and terrible facts. There are two ways to go here. You can simply go somewhere for a long period and simply hide from problems. This may not sound very good, but this method will help preserve nerve cells. If, nevertheless, this method does not appeal to you, then you can not avoid troubles, but begin to understand the attitude of your acquaintances and friends towards you, throwing aside illusions. Restoring calm will be difficult, but it is a nobler option.

Is it possible to return everything?

In most cases, a man will want to fight for his happiness and try to get everything back. Does this make sense? After all, there is a possibility that the man simply made the wrong choice at one time, especially if very little time has passed since the marriage. When the courtship period is still ongoing, a person may not open up completely.

It takes a lot of time to understand everything completely. Maybe your consciousness was trying to hint to you that something was wrong, but you didn’t understand it or simply ignored it? And now everything has become clear. You just need to accept that you made a mistake and not try to return the one with whom you cannot be together.

But there is another situation. The wife decided to leave her husband, although they had lived happily ever after for many years. This decision was made very, very difficult, but most likely, they were thought out as well as possible, and the reasons for leaving were indeed very significant.

There is no point in focusing on getting her back. The woman left voluntarily, and no one forced her. She made this choice herself. You can't change it. Of course, her decision may change, but this certainly cannot be influenced by persistent demands or constant quarrels and showdowns.

For a woman to decide to cheat, she needs not a single reason, but a whole set of needs. Which were not satisfied in a timely manner. You can try to discuss what happened with her. But remember that this rarely produces any significant results for you. At such a time, a woman is mixed up with all the accumulated negativity from family life and feelings of guilt from what she has done, which means she is not able to give normal, intelligible answers.

The stronger sex also cannot reason normally and adequately at this time. He is filled with misunderstanding of the situation and strong grievances. It happens that over time, the couple begins to see each other, and both of them come to understand the feelings of each of you. Here communication begins from scratch. But the relationship will no longer be the same. This will be a new period of life. And other relationships will begin between new people.

Summarizing all of the above, we can conclude that if your wife left you for another man, start looking for problems and shortcomings in yourself, rather than blaming your ex-wife for everything. After all, she is leaving for a reason; she definitely has good reasons for this.

Question to a psychologist:

Good day! My name is Albert. I have this problem. My wife left me two years ago. We have a 4 year old daughter. She left me for my ex-friend. They started living together, he constantly beat her. She returned three times in the first month, he came for her and she ran away again. Then she stopped bothering me for about six months, then she started calling again and wanted to get back together, but I no longer believed her and was very offended. I set the condition that she should wait for me for a year and not date anyone and went into the army to take her mind off everything. At the same time, he hinted in every possible way by his behavior that I would take a look, think about it, maybe. I came back from the army and found out that she was dating someone else, but she didn’t tell me anything. I was jealous, but I slowly got over it, found a girl, I felt good, but then my wife started pestering me again so that I would return to her. I returned, it seems like the feelings are still there, but the resentment does not go away, she is cold with me, although this was not the case before. I’m constantly jealous, we swear, I’m irritated by her cold attitude towards me and rare intimacy. I want to leave, but I can’t because of my daughter, although I understand that doing so will only cause harm. I can’t figure it out, it’s going crazy, but she doesn’t care and she doesn’t consider herself guilty (well, she doesn’t tell me). Of course, I understand that I need to somehow calm down, maybe I go too far with jealousy and resentment, but I can’t forget, I don’t trust her, I think that she’s cheating on me, she doesn’t perceive me as a man at all, intimacy is rare and that’s in my opinion initiative (this gives the impression of betrayal). I myself have a soft character, but she is strong-willed. We don’t live together, I can’t make up my mind, although I go to her every day and usually start expressing my dissatisfaction with her behavior and attitude towards me. I am very angry, I have become very irritable and withdrawn, fixated on her. She offers to move in together, but I'm afraid it will be even worse. She says look for a rented apartment yourself, she won’t look for it. She doesn’t invite me to live with her, she says she’s small and it will be cramped for three of us. I want to restore the family, but I don’t want to constantly swear, she believes that everything should be her way, although she doesn’t tell me openly. I have no trust in her, and she is not at all willing to earn it or refute my suspicions. Please tell me what to do, break up with her or try to live together, or maybe I’m already paranoid and need treatment?

Psychologist Valentina Vasilievna Danilchuk answers the question.

Good afternoon, Albert!

Should you break up or try to live together - you must answer this question yourself.

My task, as a psychologist, is to help you look at the current situation more clearly.

Why did your wife leave you two years ago? What pushes people to cheat? Search for the best.

What did your wife not like about your relationship?

When asked why your wife left, answer objectively and be honest with yourself. After all, both are always to blame in any conflict, because each side did not want to hear the other. And in any conflict, both are always right, because each side tried to convey its position to the other.

Albert, from what you wrote, it’s clear that you and your wife still have at least some kind of relationship. What are they based on? You, Albert, apparently still have feelings for your wife, you yourself agree with this. Describe what those feelings are. Love, habit, affection or something else? What are your wife's feelings towards you? Love, affection, or is she just comfortable with you?

Now the question facing your relationship is: to converge or not?

Do you both want it?

Or is it only you, Albert, who want this?

Or does only the wife want this?

If only one wants to restore the relationship, you must agree, Albert, it’s hard to row against the tide on your own. Even if the second one not only does not help, but, on the contrary, impedes the flow.

If your desires with your wife coincide with regard to restoring the relationship, then you need to sit down at the “negotiating table” and calmly discuss all your wishes and complaints for each other. No raised voices, no scandals. You are on the way to living together, and not on the way to separation!

In order to avoid a scandal that may arise during a conversation, agree to conduct your negotiations as follows: first, one person expresses in a CALM tone everything that worries and is going on in the soul, while the other just LISTENS. DOES NOT INTERRUPT, DOES NOT COMMENT, DOES NOT MAKE JUSTIFICATIONS! JUST LISTEN!

Then the second of you expresses his position according to the same scheme.

Albert, you write that you would like to leave, but you can’t because of your daughter. At the same time, you understand that this can only cause harm.

Of course, it is good when a child grows up in a complete family with a father and mother. And mom and dad love each other, respect each other, support each other, there is a loving atmosphere in the house, and not screams, scandals...

A child cannot be happy in a complete family, while constantly being in the midst of conflicts between parents. It is fraught with neuroses, and not only. All negative consequences may come back to haunt you in the future, in your daughter’s adult life. The mental health, psychological comfort and happiness of the child in general must be taken care of correctly. Remember this!

First of all, when a wife leaves for another, the angry husband considers it his duty to beat him. I want to prove that you are a man, to talk like a man. It’s easier this way – to blame someone. There is a desire to blame all your shortcomings and sins on that other man who allegedly seduced his wife. This is all complete nonsense. When a woman decides to leave for another, she, as a rule, knows him quite well. It is not typical for ladies to make such decisions spontaneously. This makes them very different from men. After all, it is the man who sees a pretty chick who pretends to reciprocate his feelings that is ready to run to the ends of the earth. A man can leave the family within a week after meeting. And not very decent men will also try to find a reason to blame their wife for everything, they will cling, and show their dissatisfaction over trifles.

For women, things are different. Even if the husband is a rowdy and a complete drunkard who beats his wife, she will still think for a long time and decide whether to leave him. She will worry, will try with all her might to restore the relationship, and will make the 101st attempt to bring her husband to reason. She feels sorry for this wretched creature and sometimes she is ready to deprive herself of the opportunity to be happy. And when a woman actually leaves, she has thought about a lot and weighed everything. This is why it can be more difficult to get women back later, but nothing is impossible here either. It is important to simply understand that the man to whom she left is not to blame for anything, he is only to blame for the fact that he turned out to be better than you. And if it weren’t for him, someone else would have been found. And now answer your question: is there any point in talking to him, losing your dignity, or beating him? it is possible that he will be stronger. Yes, and your masculine character, your masculinity, should not manifest itself in this at all.

You must prove to yourself and your wife that you can be better than others. And a simple fight will only strengthen the position of the new chosen one. His wife will feel sorry for him, pamper him and cherish him, because he suffered because of her, and therefore in the name of love. Women love stories like this. And you will appear as an ordinary villain, their common enemy, against whom they both will join forces. Such situations bring couples together very much. And think, do you need this, do you want to unite them more? I don't think it's worth doing this. It is important to step away and not prevent them from successfully destroying their relationship. You will never be able to destroy their relationship, but they themselves will cope with this task just fine. Everything has just begun for them, and at the very beginning, of course, there will be carrot love. But they had not yet lived together, they had not encountered everyday problems, and this is where people show up.

During this time, while they are getting used to it and destroying relationships, you will change and become better. And pretend that you don’t care about them at all. Even if your wife provokes you, you should not fall for it. The thing is, she will be confused as to why you aren't even trying to get her back. On occasion, she will begin to tell you that she is happy that she has found her ideal man and is going to marry him. It simply appeals to your emotions. The wife wants to see whether you love her or not, whether you are suffering or whether she has been forgotten. And you need to remain calm. Indifferently wish her happiness and do not show your resentment. Your correct behavior can work real miracles.