Why do men cry? Weaknesses of the stronger sex Male crying in history
Why do men cry?
It is rare to see a man crying. Mother Nature and human morality so decreed that the stronger sex experiences the events of their lives in most cases “dry”, only occasionally allowing themselves to “soak” their emotions. So why is the man crying? What can make a man “shed a tear”?
Perhaps the main motivation men's tears– helplessness, inability to change something, find a way out of the situation. Nothing can upset a man more than his own powerlessness in the face of life's troubles and problems. There are many options for such helplessness. Someone gets hurt and hurt to the point of tears when their father offends their mother, but it is impossible to intervene. Someone cries when a woman leaves (and not necessarily a loved one, they just “took away a toy”). Someone sheds a tear out of laziness and anger: an ambitious colleague has been surpassed in his career, a neighbor earns twice as much, a younger brother has built a luxurious dacha. I also really want all this, but I have neither the strength nor the desire to get up and start acting - laziness.
Seven ways to protect yourself from energy vampires.
Some are ready to cry out of pity for their loved ones (“no one understands or appreciates me”, “life has passed”). There are representatives of the stronger sex who throw tantrums, hoping to evoke compassion and sympathy from loved ones, especially women with a strong character. Most often, this is not only a manifestation of weakness, but also a request from the “little boy” for help.
Involuntary men's tears can be triggered by physical pain, such as when a dentist hits a nerve, or when a nose is bruised when the blow stimulates the tear glands. In addition, everyone's pain threshold is different. By the way, many people experience “physiological” tears both when cutting onions and when the saying “laugh until you cry” comes into play.
Force make a man cry maybe the loss of someone close to you: relatives, friends. True, at the time of tragedy, paradoxically, men rarely cry. Grief does not immediately cover them, at first they rush, as if into an embrasure, at the heap of problems that have fallen on them, but when the troubles are left behind, there is nothing to hide from trouble, the man relaxes, finding himself alone with his grief, and then gives free rein tears.
Another reason why the stronger sex can be moved is by playing games, from football to computer shooters. Yes, yes, our men are big children, the game remains the main entertainment for them throughout their lives, and they remain gamblers in it until old age. Losing or winning causes a storm of emotions in men. We see tears of joy from victory from athletes standing on the podium, and there is no doubt about their fortitude and courage; losers in competitions also cry. And on the “opposite side”, in the stands, in front of the TV screens, hundreds of strong guys also shed tears. Surprisingly, according to statistics, from 15 to 25% of those present in sports arenas during decisive competitions men are crying because of the defeat or victory of your favorite team.
Men are no less, and sometimes more, sentimental than women. They capable of tears from joy and empathy, being present at the birth of a child, from tenderness, hearing the first “dad” of a little son, from nostalgia, finding himself in the yard of his childhood.
Yes, grown men, as a rule, cry infrequently. This is due, first of all, to a certain level of hormones, which is little subject to fluctuations, while in women it changes all the time, which affects their physical and mental state. In addition, nowadays, from an early age, boys are told: “Don’t cry, you’re a man!” So they grow up with a “program” not to cry, not to show their emotions under any circumstances, so as not to appear in the eyes of others as a doormat, a nurse, a weakling. Meanwhile, the thesis that real men don't cry, appeared relatively recently. In ancient Greece, where brutality was elevated to an absolute cult, men's tears were considered a manifestation of generosity and nobility of feelings. Our ancestors were convinced that only a strong person can allow himself to openly show his emotions, and a weak person depends on the opinions of others and is afraid of everyone’s ridicule.)
I found my neighbor in tears, he had recently lost his father and mother. I sat with him for four hours, it seemed like a stranger, but... This involuntary “nakedness” of him resonated in me with something piercing, and now when we meet, we don’t just throw “hello” - we meet eyes. For me he remains as strong and courageous as he was before, it’s just that now I know for sure that I will never reproach a man for tears, because these four hours were in my life.
Men's tears, or rather their absence, are a mystery. We will tell you what is behind the “stingy male tear”, which men cry more often and whether the stronger sex should hold back their tears.
"Men do not cry"
There is some truth to the statement: “men don’t cry.” A recent study by scientists at Tilburg University showed that representatives of the stronger sex shed several times less tears than women due to hormonal characteristics. Roughly speaking, two hormones fight for our tears: testosterone and the stress hormone prolactin, which act as antagonists. Testosterone, which predominates in the male body, suppresses stress hormones, and along with them reduces the need to cry. In women, the opposite is true - more prolactin, more tears.
This doesn't mean that men don't cry at all after puberty. It’s just that to shed a stingy tear you need a very compelling reason, which will cause a strong surge of stress hormones. As a Buzzfeed survey showed, men most often allow themselves emotional tears due to the death of loved ones. The reason for tears of happiness can be the birth of a child and... the victory of your favorite football team.
Every nation has its own tears
Cultural attitudes influence the number of male tears shed as much as testosterone. A study by Dutch scientists, in which representatives of 35 countries took part, showed that in more economically prosperous countries, people cry more often than in developing countries, where this is usually “not accepted.” Despite the fact that the latter should have much more reasons to cry.
The reasons for crying also vary depending on cultural norms and traditions. Thus, among Japanese samurai in the Middle Ages, it was customary to cry in the event of a tragedy; in the West, men’s tears are an indicator of sincerity and directness.
Abraham Lincoln constantly resorted to this technique during his speeches. Subsequently, other American presidents followed his example. In some cultures, tears are a common form of greeting. Some shake hands, some cry, writes “tears” specialist Dr. Winderhots in his study.
Age is a reason for tears
Testosterone levels, which suppress stress hormones, decrease with age. Therefore, the older a man is, the more likely he is to burst into tears in public. I must say that giving yourself some slack is quite natural and even healthy. Tears not only bring emotional relief, but also lower blood pressure, protect the heart from heart attack, reduce the risk of cancer, have an analgesic effect and are an excellent preventive measure even against stomach ulcers! So our tears prolong life no worse than laughter, and maybe even better.
An alternative to tears
Tears “wash away stress” and bring emotional relief, which is necessary for anyone, even the strongest person. Therefore, a man who believes that shedding tears is inappropriate has to look for other ways to “let off steam.” One of these proven methods is “substitution of feelings.” A man can turn sadness into anger, and sensitivity into pride - emotions that are more “quoted” for the stronger sex.
It just so happens that it is not becoming for men to cry, but who said that a man does not have the right to tears?! Men cry too, but this happens very rarely, and if you see a man’s tears, it means the man has good reasons for this!
Don't judge men's tears
You shouldn’t condemn men’s tears, men are not made of iron either, but unlike women, they rarely show their experiences, and, as a rule, they keep the whole severity of their emotional experiences in themselves, perhaps because of this, men do not live long, this is extremely sad but true!
Men do not have the moral right to cry, otherwise others will not only look askance and whisper behind their backs, but also the “status” of a loser and a weakling will be reliably attached, and for any self-respecting man this is a blow below the belt.
A man doesn't cry over trifles
It’s easier for women, tears are close to women, and, almost something goes wrong, we cry and after that we feel some kind of relief, and with tears we also receive pity from those around us, they pity us and we feel good about it, and no one judges, as if it were so and it should be. This is how it was at all times, this is how it is, and probably in 100 years nothing will change.
It’s more difficult for men, nature turned out to be not so favorable to men, men’s tears are considered a sign of weakness, and this is unfair! Men are by nature strong and courageous, but this does not mean that they experience less pain when they lose loved ones and loved ones or less happiness when their long-awaited heir is born. Men's experiences are stronger and deeper than women's, which means that men experience grief and misfortune much longer and more intensely.
Unlike a woman who may cry over another puff in her new stockings or a broken nail, a man will not cry over trifles. A man's tears need a good reason.
The loss of loved ones is one of the few significant reasons for men’s tears; the unbearable pain of loss makes men cry. At such moments, no one has the moral right to condemn a person, because we women know well that tears bring relief.
Death, breakup or sincere tears are the reasons that can make a person shed a tear. And men are no exception.
Men's tears are like molten lead, just as heavy, because every tear is filled with inexpressible pain, bitterness and despair, or, on the contrary, tears of great happiness.
A man has the right to tears
Every person has the right to his own world, his own tragedies and experiences, his own personal happiness, dreams and his own feelings. And men also have the right to tears! Maybe it's time to reconsider outdated stereotypes and it's time to understand that a real man will not become worse if he shed a tear.
In such cases, men need female support, not stupid ridicule and condemnation. A smart woman should understand that a strong man does not cry easily. Only a loving, wise woman can understand and support her man. Women's care and attention will help to survive difficult moments in a man's life. Men have the same moral right to tears as they have to air, love or sex.
Naturally, we are talking about real men, and not about “pseudo men” who whine with or without reason in the hope of softening a woman who is stronger in spirit than himself. This category of whiners has nothing in common with real strong men who have no right to show their tears.
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Male gaze.
Hello ladies! Today we will talk about a very rare natural phenomenon - male tears. I don’t know, maybe you’ve seen them more often than I have, and you can name a bunch of ways to cause them? Well, I’ll try to explain to you where men’s tears come from, according to my observations and feelings.
It seems to me that impotence is one of the main reasons for men's tears. Powerlessness before the death or serious illness of a loved one. Powerlessness before some terrible and vile force that has broken or is breaking the life of you or your family. Powerlessness in the face of circumstances, in the face of an absurd incident, an accident, in the face of the inability to correct some monstrous mistake of one’s own.
Although, of course, there are simpler reasons. Sometimes a man really wants to cry because of some banal injustice. Well, for example, you’ve been working on something for ten years. And then they put you in charge of a dim-witted young relative of the business owner who doesn’t understand a damn thing about the matter, is rude and treats you like an idiot. Strong and hot-tempered people, of course, will punch such a character in the face once and then will look for another job. But those who are more restrained can endure it for some time, but at the same time be very worried, even to the point of tears. However, a strong-willed man can also suffer from unfair treatment of himself. It is very disappointing and sad when we are not appreciated. And when decisions are made by some very narrow-minded and unworthy people, and we are obliged to carry them out.
It happens (though rarely) when you want to cry from loneliness. Especially in contrast, when all day you are closely communicating with someone at work, solving all sorts of issues, going to meetings. And in the evening you find yourself alone in an empty apartment. And you understand that all the creative work that has devoured you and deprived you of all time for your personal life has, as a result, put you in this panel cage, where you are alone, no one calls, no one comes. You can, of course, call a friend yourself and have a drink with him. But I want something else - dear, to care, love, lie next to you and be one with you.
Only if we talk about myself, then I rarely cry. I tried to remember when. Of course, at my grandparents' funeral. At the funeral of my uncle, who died of cancer at 45. At the funeral of a colleague with whom we worked together. And when I buried my dog in the forest, I also cried all the way back in the car. And I’m ashamed to admit, I didn’t even cry so much for people. Maybe because I was ashamed in front of the dog, to which I paid little attention due to my eternal work, although, unlike people, it depended entirely on me. Perhaps that’s all, but fortunately, I simply didn’t have any other serious reasons.
I don’t know if those who cry over any trifle can be considered men. Who throws hysterics at their wives and even throws them into tears. You know better if you happen to live with people like that. All I could do with women was cry with happiness. This is when you hug the person closest to you at that moment and it feels so good that you really want to cry. Here, in my opinion, you can’t hold back. Let it be like this for you!
Many people have heard the concept of “male tears,” but not many have seen it. This is not surprising: men very rarely show their weaknesses in public. Yes, they consider the manifestation of sentimentality to be a weakness. Why can't men cry? Because it seems to them that it makes them vulnerable. How can he, a man so strong, so powerful, so independent and brave, cry in front of others? For him, as a representative of the strong half of humanity, this is simply unacceptable. His tears are personal, intimate, belonging only to him. They contain his pain, his joy, his emotions, his suffering, and he does not intend to share his feelings and experiences with others.
Perhaps the main motivation for men’s tears is helplessness, the inability to change something, to find a way out of the situation. Nothing can upset a man more than his own powerlessness in the face of life's troubles and problems. There are many options for such helplessness. Someone gets hurt and hurt to the point of tears when their father offends their mother, but it is impossible to intervene. Someone cries when a woman leaves (and not necessarily a loved one, they just “took away a toy”). Someone sheds a tear out of laziness and anger: an ambitious colleague has been surpassed in his career, a neighbor earns twice as much, a younger brother has built a luxurious dacha. I also really want all this, but I have neither the strength nor the desire to get up and start acting - laziness.
Some are ready to cry out of pity for their loved ones (“no one understands or appreciates me”, “life has passed”). There are representatives of the stronger sex who throw hysterics, hoping to evoke compassion and sympathy from loved ones, especially women with a strong character. Most often, this is not only a manifestation of weakness, but also a request from the “little boy” for help.
Involuntary male tears can be triggered by physical pain, such as when a dentist hits a nerve, or when the nose is bruised, when the blow stimulates the tear glands. In addition, everyone's pain threshold is different. By the way, many people experience “physiological” tears both when cutting onions and when the saying “laugh until you cry” comes into play.
7 stages a man goes through when breaking up
If you ask a man a question about how he copes with a breakup, the answer you can hear is, at best, normal. But in fact, there is only one answer to this question - silently. Women cry more and talk all the time about their broken hearts. Today I read one publication on http://wjday.ru/ and somehow thought about this question. Men have long been conditioned to keep everything to themselves. In public they are silent, silent and patient, withdrawn into themselves. Which quite often turns into incurable alcoholism for them, not counting the diseases that can arise against the background of a nervous breakdown.
Scientists from the University of Königsberg have established 7 stages that almost all men experience during a breakup:
This is due to the fact that he cannot believe that this really happened. In other words, men deny everything that is happening. There is a feeling of not understanding, denial, fear.
At this stage, men become irritated, angry, violently generating anger towards everything that surrounds them. At this stage, the consciousness comes that this really happened, and experiences all the negative emotions. In 60% of cases, men have these negative feelings directed exclusively at themselves, since they know that they are the stronger sex, and they think that they have not coped with all the difficulties they have faced with their chosen one.
Third stage: final awareness of everything that is happening.
When the big flow of anger has gone, men usually begin to understand what really happened. Depression begins, which lowers self-esteem to the very minimum. At this moment, men stop feeling anything about themselves, they simply go through a stage of existence in their heads.
At this moment, the male sex begins to think about at what stage of their relationship the misfire occurred, each time going through the wrong decisions. Such thoughts occur, of course, at all stages of experiencing separation, but especially after anger and depression, men finally make a verdict in their heads about where and what mistakes were present in the relationship. 
When men have realized everything that is happening and have worked on the mistakes in their heads from past relationships, the search for something new begins. Moreover, everyone has new ideas in different ways, someone begins to look for a new passion, someone throws themselves into work, and someone sees life in alcohol intoxication. The latter is usually the most common option.
Well, everything is clear here, self-esteem returns, a new meaning to life is found. Many men have a desire to find the woman of their life, start a family, and finally throw away the whole past in their lives.
At this stage, men can easily start looking for their new passion, doing their favorite things without bothering their heads with unpleasant thoughts. There is only one thing, a man will always remember the good moments from previous relationships, but he can also hate it just as much for a breakup initiated by a woman.
It is worth remembering that if a man is silent, does not express obvious feelings, and your friends tell you that he still goes to the bar on Saturdays to drink beer with his friends, this does not mean that he absolutely does not care about your breakup, most likely he simply buried his emotions as deeply as possible.
...Once I had to become an involuntary witness to the loud scream of a middle-aged man. At one service in church, I suddenly heard a groan escaping somewhere from the depths of a man’s chest. Turning my head slightly, I saw a well-groomed man standing literally two steps away from me. Throwing his head back, he seemed to freeze with his arms raised up.
Occasionally his body was shaken by surging emotions. The face had long been wet from tears, which were already flowing in streams into the very ears. ABOUT! These streams of tears... You don't see this often! This sobbing man haunted my consciousness for a long time. Why was he crying so uncontrollably? What happened in his life to provoke crying in public? “He probably asked for mercy from the Almighty,” was the first thing that came to my mind... 
...And here in front of me is a letter from a young guy. Jerky quotes hold my gaze: “I am a very whiny person. Offending me and bringing me to tears is no problem... I can be offended by any offensive word and burst into tears... Do you think that this is not courageous?.. I hate myself for this and fight with it, but, despite all my efforts, I remain like this same. And now, as I write these lines, tears are quietly rolling down my cheeks.”
I gave only three situations in which men cried. I have always wondered: “Is this a sign of weakness or an expression of pain?” I asked myself this more than once. And a number of others following the first. Why do men cry? How should we women react to this phenomenon? And what do men themselves think about this? I decided to look for answers on the forums. Let's see what happened as a result.
What do women say about men's tears?
Most women note that they are sympathetic to men's tears. Even if they were taken by surprise by such a situation. After all, it’s not every day that men roar! Still, the “weaker” sex is not used to seeing the “strong” sex cry. Apparently this is due to the well-established stereotype “A man doesn’t cry.” Violating it automatically launches a program to search for the subject’s inconsistency with those unspoken standards that were instilled in childhood and which he, a man, is supposed to follow.
Women perceive a man's tears as a manifestation of serious, real feelings. “If a man cries, it says a lot! This means VERY painful! And looking at a man’s tears is VERY painful! If O is crying, it means everything is VERY serious!” The female sex almost unanimously says: “Men’s tears are stingy and break out when the heart simply cannot withstand the stress. But if a man constantly whines, then he’s really a wuss.” It’s clear who needs a wimp next to them. But women don’t like deeply hidden male emotions either. They want to be close to men to share their suffering.
Some compassionate people advise “men to cry more.” They say that they will live longer and be healthier. Otherwise, you see, they carry all their experiences within themselves, don’t share what hurts them, and then they have heart attacks and various ailments. “After all, men are people too, and sometimes it’s better to have tears than physical self-torture!” Women willingly share their experiences and rush to console with the results: “Tears cleanse and liberate.” Cry, men, when you cry. Feel better. Women know what they advise.
And one lady in love shared a touching moment of parting with her beloved. “Before leaving for Europe for 2 weeks, I gave him a box with 100 reasons why I love him. When he finished reading 101 reasons, I saw that he cried, with happiness, but at the same time with regret that I was leaving!!!”
What do men say about their tears?
Men, as I have noticed, do not scatter thoughts throughout the tree. Short and to the point. But if they speak, then it is worth listening to them. Dear women, hear how and why our men cry? Let me give you a few succinct quotes.
“I don’t know what to call this condition, when there is a pinching and sharp cutting in the chest, and then it radiates to the bridge of the nose, but the tears do not flow. I think this is a “male” tear. Not outside, but inside yourself...” - this is how men cry, it turns out. “We just show emotions in public less often... We men have only tears - crocodile tears. I meant that there are almost no tears (crocodile tears - when a crocodile cleans its eyes of all debris). In general, do you know that a man feels pain 30% stronger than a woman?!”
Another male revelation: “The reasons for men’s tears are the same as for women - pain, resentment, disappointment... But it is so customary that men hide their tears, suppress their feelings, and allow themselves to howl only alone without witnesses.” But one of the representatives of the masculine family is trying to reach women’s hearts: “If you saw a man crying in front of you, you saw his soul, he opened it to you, that’s worth a lot.”
Men openly admit that they are tired of hiding behind “cynicism or eternal humor.” They want to express their pent-up emotions. They are tired of being “blocks of stone” and have long been striving to become ordinary feeling people with a soft heart. So let's help men be men with the whole range of feelings: joys, pains, sorrows... Let's lend our strong feminine shoulder, women, if something happens?
If a guy cries because of a girl, what could happen?
Video When men cry...
Quote: A man only cries in two cases.
In principle, a man gets mad only in two cases: when she’s not with him... and when she’s not with him.
Ivan Okhlobystin (40+)
You only need to thank a man in two cases. If He leaves your life once and for all. Or if it remains in it once and for all.
Perhaps, only in two cases is a person not afraid to do stupid things and seem funny: in childhood and when he is madly in love.
Oleg Roy (100+)
When big challenges arise in life, there are only two paths: the path of the victim or the path of the hero of his novel. Remember, the choice is yours!
Konstantin Pi (50+)
If a person betrayed someone because of you, you should not associate your life with him, sooner or later he will betray you because of someone.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (100+)
When you completely, unconditionally trust a person, you end up with one of two things: either a person for life, or a lesson for life.
We change ourselves mainly for one of two reasons - inspiration or desperation.
Jim Rohn (30+)
In youth, a man wants sex, and a woman wants love. In adulthood, he wants love, and she wants sex. And only in old age do they want the same thing: peace.
Konstantin Melikhan (100+)
A person has only two paths: either progress or degradation; conservatism in its pure form contradicts the essence of the laws of the universe.
Alfred North Whitehead (5)
The great mysteries of our existence have yet to be solved; even death may not be the end.
Nikola Tesla (20+)
If a man cries when breaking up
Marie, there is no need to change concepts. All the people are crying. This has nothing to do with spine and strength at all. You can train a rabbit to sit with a straight face. The question is - why?
If our unfortunate men have been told that crying is shameful, then this is monstrous. Many were also taught that they are disabled in everyday life, they are not able to wash their own dishes, this is not a man’s job. And no one is ashamed for it. And for tears, normal human emotions are ready to rot.
It bothered me that my husband didn’t cry at all; his mother-in-law raised him to be such a “courageous” boy and mentally raped him. It took me 20 years to learn that you HAVE to cry when you want it. Not in public, of course. And tears are normal.
Do you know why some men have a higher mortality rate? Their vessels are not so elastic; they cannot withstand pressure surges. And it is emotional emancipation that eliminates such a misfortune.
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Why yours cried is unknown. Maybe love, maybe the notorious borscht, or maybe from resentment that he was abandoned. You won't know the truth here.