The child does not go to the potty for a long time. How to potty train a three year old child. There are several game forms of training

28.04.2024 -

Hello, Elena

Going to the potty is a conditioned reflex that is developed like any other habit.
This conditioned reflex is finally formed by the age of 4-5, when all the subcortical and midline structures of the brain responsible for the control of defecation and urination finally mature. That is, there is still time, but it is not enough.
Getting your child used to the potty should happen from a very early age. Many doctors advise starting potty training from the moment the child can sit independently.
In your situation, it is necessary to develop not only the unconscious habit of relieving yourself in the potty, but also constantly explain why this needs to be done.
First of all, the baby takes an example from her parents. If you go to the toilet, take your child with you, explain what exactly mom (or dad) is doing, what exactly is happening, what you are going to do later, that is, talk through and explain to your daughter all your actions. The main thing is to always say that this “big white friend” is exactly the same as the baby’s. Perhaps the girl will want to go to the toilet like her mother, and not to her own potty. Therefore, do not interfere with her desires; there are special toilet seat covers on sale that reduce the diameter of the seat, as well as podiums (steps) to reduce the height of the toilet.
Find out what exactly is causing your reluctance to go potty. Perhaps they once pinched the skin or insisted too actively, which subsequently formed into negativism towards this pot. If you can come to an agreement and understand the baby, you may need to change the potty. When buying a new pot, choose physiological models, calm colors, without any music or light accompaniment.
Potty training a child is a matter of the mother's habit of putting the child out, rather than the need of the child himself. We need to show her and explain what exactly she is doing. That when she urinates, urine flows out, show her this process, you need the baby to understand what is happening to her. What if she urinated in her pants - it was wet and not pleasant. By focusing on the process itself, the learning process will be more effective. When she feels that the process of urination has begun, she will not be able to wet her panties without her noticing.
The same situation is with defecation ("big walk").
Persuasion, persistent requests, scolding do not have much influence on the process of potty training a child, everything becomes even worse when persistent negativism towards the potty is thereby developed, the child will not be able to relax while sitting on the potty, and will be in constant anticipation of screams and reproaches.
Only by your own example, a detailed explanation of all actions, with a comfortable potty (or toilet accessories), and most importantly, repeated repetition throughout the day can you achieve success.
For the first time, keep a diary of urination and bowel movements. You will be able to catch him at a certain time and put him on the potty on time, the main thing is to make it comfortable for the child. The baby needs to relax. Typically, a 3-year-old child urinates once every 3-4 hours, and “generally” can urinate 1-2 times a day. You need to calculate the time for a comfortable hike.

Often, parents expect that the child, if not immediately, then after a couple of failures, will understand exactly what to pee and poop in the potty. If this does not happen for up to two years, then mom and dad remain relatively calm and self-controlled. But if this does not happen after two years, then parents begin to panic: after all, in many magazines about children and on specialized sites on the Internet they write that the most appropriate age for. Well, okay, 2.5. But three years is already a critical age.

But in fact, you shouldn’t be upset, much less panic. Experts believe that every child is unique and does not necessarily have to conform to generally accepted patterns. By the way, it may well happen that the chosen teaching methods are simply not suitable for the child and he needs to try something else.

The Last Effective Potty Training Methods When All Others Have Been Tried

First tip Naturally, it is not to force the child, not to scold him, not to shout, not to frighten him. Such actions can permanently discourage a child from any impulse to “go” where he’s supposed to go. If such “methods” have already taken place, then it is necessary to change them to affection and patience as soon as possible. If necessary, you need to stop trying to train, and continue them after a while.

The best ways to teach a child in any way are through games. . The main thing is not to turn the potty itself into a toy! If this has already happened, you need to replace the pot with another one that differs in color, shape, etc.
It is also necessary to exclude mental and physiological reasons for refusing to use the potty.

There are several game forms of training.

“The potty wants to be fed.” You can come up with a fairy tale in which the main character is a potty, and tell the child that the potty needs to be “fed” and “watered.” Yes, yes, and explain to the child WHAT the potty eats. And that without THIS the pot will starve.
Role-playing games with a toy. This is not just about simply placing the toy on another potty next to the child. You need to demonstrate the whole procedure: take off your pants, panties, plant it, maybe, for clarity, pour water into a pot, then pour it into the toilet. Also demonstrate what will happen if you don’t “go” to the potty on time. The doll can wet its pants, and this is very unpleasant, especially if there are people around. You need to wash the doll, put on dry pants, and next time let her “pee” in the potty.
“The award has found its hero.” This is a simple but very effective method. The baby is simply rewarded for each successful “trip”. The reward can be small inexpensive toys, stickers, pictures. The main thing here is to stop issuing “prizes” in time, otherwise the child will begin to refuse to do his work for nothing.
"Game of Accuracy." Everything is clear here: the baby is asked to hit the potty accurately. This game is more popular (and suitable) for boys. You can even draw a target on the bottom of the pot.
"Playing to be an adult." After the baby has done his “wet work,” you need to take the potty with him, pour the contents into the toilet, and wash the potty. If the child has not done anything, you can add water to the pot unnoticed by him (for example, with a syringe without a needle) and repeat the procedure described above.
You can come up with a game yourself that your baby will like.

Reasons for potty refusal

There may be several reasons why a child cannot learn (or does not want) to relieve himself in a potty.

Psychological

These reasons include:

experienced (or being experienced) stress (family problems, external stimuli);
fear of the potty. A child may be afraid of the potty offered to him: it is too bright, noisy, cold, the baby has previously been accustomed to;
crisis 3-4 years. At this age, the child is going through a crisis, can be stubborn, refuse to fulfill requests, and show aggression.

Physiological

a recent illness can also negatively affect attempts to potty train a child;
the potty may simply be inconvenient for the child;
potty training before the child is old enough to do so.

Help from a psychologist

So, if problems arise with potty training, it is worth identifying and, if possible, eliminating the reasons described above.
If the child still refuses to do “things” in the potty, it makes sense to contact a specialist. After all, some other signs of psychological problems may be present: general nervousness, deviations from normal behavior, depression.

If the baby behaves as usual, is cheerful and cheerful, there is no reason to panic.

And the simplest and most important advice- be patient with your beloved child, and everything will work out for you and for him .

Alenka2004 09/22/2007 at 22:39:58

SOS! A 3-year-old child categorically does not go to the potty or to the toilet.

Please tell me what to do - my dad and I are on the verge of a nervous breakdown - a 3-year-old child is pooping in his pants. It is impossible to teach, each attempt leads either to hours of hysteria, or to retention of stool until we are allowed to go to our pants (once I endured it for 4 days). The diaper was removed at 1.5 years old, then he started asking to pee.

There were no problems with peeing until last weekend; the child asked to pee and kept it at night. We put a diaper on loose stools again a week ago at his request and now there has been regression - the child only pees in the diaper, has stopped asking to pee and can’t hold it in at night. Maybe someone has encountered a similar situation? We don’t know what to do... Persuasion, threats, promises don’t help

Teri 09/23/2007 at 00:15:58
do not scold under any circumstances +
We had almost the same thing. At 3 years old, he didn’t even ask to pee, and he didn’t even ask to poop: (I didn’t sit on the potty at all, I only peed while standing, I also pooped while standing... I didn’t sit on the toilet in a child seat...
At 3.2 years old, we turned to a homeopath, after the first two doses of medication he began to go to the toilet on his own, his speech began to develop (this was also a problem - general underdevelopment of speech), he began to poop on the potty much later, only this summer, but he himself I came to this or I read that the sphincter must “mature”.... This is a developmental feature we have.... I understand you very well, it’s hard, but still, don’t scold the baby, it’s not his fault, there are many reasons ....
- Alenka2004 09/24/2007 at 22:42:54
  Sveta, thank you for your answer!
  Could you provide the contact details of the homeopath you contacted with this problem? You can here or, if more convenient, by mail: [email protected]
  Thank you!
  - Teri 09/25/2007 at 00:35:37
    Well-known name on the forum:)))+
    Rudovskaya Vera Alekseevna, Center for Homeopathy named after. Popova, tel. registry 234-234-1. Although she is expensive, the last time she prescribed treatment for us (with a break) for the whole year, and 1 box of medicine now costs 6 UAH...
    Sveta (former Teresa), Andrey (03/10/89) and Alyoshka (04/03/03)
    No matter how much you feed a woman, she will still buy herself a bikini...
    - New_baby 09/30/2007 at 20:34:35
      and how much is it expensive?
      if it `s not a secret:)
      You can email or ICQ
      Thank you
      UMC 2380636
      ICQ 283050634
      - Teri 01/10/2007 at 01:01:06
        call the center, this is the reception phone number
        They will tell you exactly how much, I just don’t know how much now... We visited her in early January (usually they increase tariffs starting from the new year), so I paid in advance (until November 30) and was accepted at the old price. She usually makes an appointment a month in advance... And one more thing: the initial appointment is more expensive, and a repeat appointment is somewhat cheaper (a repeat visit is considered to be a visit in the same year - not the calendar year, but the current one). To save money, I can also suggest: for an initial appointment you can make an appointment at appointment “with students” (doctors who go to homeopathy courses - V.A. teaches there), last summer this appointment cost 100 UAH..... There are also family discounts (3 people from the same family are served at the center ) - this also needs to be clarified at the registry what's what....
        Sveta (former Teresa), Andrey (03/10/89) and Alyoshka (04/03/03)
        No matter how much you feed a woman, she will still buy herself a bikini...
        New_baby 01/10/2007 at 09:24:39
        Thank you
        UMC 2380636
        ICQ 283050634

Angela_Shura 09/24/2007 at 13:11:37

I read and observed this picture using the example of my nephews

Our daughter-in-law also taught the little ones (although they are 11 years apart, but both cases are identical) to ask to go potty early

at about 3 years old the eldest started doing everything in his pants again
the smaller one is now starting to do the same

the position is like this: they taught it early, the child could not control it on his own at that age, it’s just a development like Pavlov’s
then the child begins to feel and understand what is happening - his “program” has failed, he needs to relearn

After a while everything will be back to normal

The smaller one is now also going crazy..

I didn’t teach mine - my eldest gave up diapers in stages
the little ones are now also starting to consciously go and pee and poop, as it turns out

our doctor (homeopath) asked us whether children poop while standing
then I once read in the description of some drug that it is also prescribed for pooping while standing - this is one of the symptoms of some kind of malfunction in the body
I can't say anything more..

in my opinion: well, we went back to diapers - well, now... diapers are better than threats-nerves
possible consultation options on the issue: psychologist, homeopath
other specialists are unlikely to be able to understand the problem

J. R. R. Tolkien

Tanya_Slava 09/27/2007 at 10:28:08
And here it started to leak - if you don’t put a penny on it every hour - a wet spot on your panties
and if he asks, his pants are already wet (before this, everything was fine for almost half a year, but now I’m nervous, he stutters a little, maybe this has something to do with it).
- Angela_Shura 01/10/2007 at 11:51:36
  Of course, nerves and incontinence are always connected...
  remove psychological problems and the consequences of a nervous breakdown - everything should stabilize..
  Many of the living deserve death, and many of the dead deserve life. Can you give it back to them? Same thing. Then do not rush to condemn him to death.
  J. R. R. Tolkien

Miss_Lambert 09/23/2007 at 00:22:39

I'm not sure, but still...

After 1.6, everything was almost great with us, except for the nuances... It happened that they tarnished (and not only) our reputation... At almost 2 years old, my son was operated on (a slight adjustment in orthopedics) and... A couple of weeks is recommended I had to wear diapers (just in case) until the stitches were removed... Everything went away, the stitches were removed, life got better. But only PROBLEMS started with the potty.:((
I stubbornly tried to prove to the child that peeing and pooping in the toilet is bad...But...Without results...And then I just stopped pressing for a couple of weeks, then I offered to do THIS, like dad does....in the toilet ...
Believe me, little by little everything returned to normal (although I had a few pee breaks and I scrubbed the latrine every day :))
In short, this is what I mean... We were, of course, younger, but...
Maybe for now, for a while, you will stop the active pressure on culturally going to the toilet... Maybe your little man just got into a pose because of the active participation of his parents? And you (the parents) don’t need to focus attention on THIS problem? Guys, a couple of weeks won’t do much for you, just relax... and do without diapers at home... Of course it’s possible, it’s not as convenient as diapers, but there’s a washing machine... And light remarks about the fact that everything It’s COOLER to be dry and clean, and what a great son, that EVERYTHING works out for him.

Nemo mimpune lacessit

Alenka2004 09/24/2007 at 22:40:08

Girls, thanks to everyone for the advice!

I've almost calmed down :-)

hukry1 09/27/2007 at 11:38:07
We had this until 2.11 months
held stool for up to 4 days, he was afraid, we had a psychological problem, as a consequence of a physiological one, namely, after an examination in surgery, they determined that his rectum was lengthened, they underwent a course of treatment + gymnastics, he began to poop less hard stool = stopped being afraid of pain = They motivated me with gifts that the potty brought for every “poop eaten”; in the end he became friends with the toilet and the potty.
Although we encountered another problem due to the fact that we attributed everything to psychology and delayed physiology a little. Now the topic will be higher.
So I advise you to get examined. And screaming really won’t help, it will only make it worse, this is from personal experience of screaming and insulting a child for wearing shorts

Soleil 09/23/2007 at 14:30:24

Found it!

In an abbreviated form, if you don’t mind :)) After reinstalling Windows, Fainridar has not yet been installed:((
The boy had a problem with intestinal obstruction from birth and was operated on at an early age, but that was not the case. The parents continued to anxiously monitor whether their son’s intestines were functioning normally. The boy misunderstood his parents’ concern and came to the conclusion: “Dad and Mom only pay attention to me when I have problems with bowel movements.” The parents needed to develop such tactics so that the son himself would realize that his behavior was ineffective. It was important that the actions of both parents carried kindness and severity at the same time. At that moment, when the parents noticed that their son had already soiled his pants, they simply silently hugged him. The important thing was that this was done silently, and the boy did not receive the usual negative attention from them. A parent's hug meant, "I love you, no matter what you did." Immediately after this, they moved away to a sufficient distance so as not to inhale the “aromas” (:)))) of undesirable consequences, again without saying a word. There was no need to wash him, since he did it on his own (he was 9 years old). It was a manifestation of the parents’ strictness that they remained next to their son during this unpleasant procedure. Already after 2 weeks. The tactics of kindness and severity yielded results. There were only 2 cases and those occurred at a time when the family was receiving guests and the parents experienced understandable awkwardness when using their tactics, so the son did not miss the opportunity to take advantage of his bad habit. And then he never did it again.
Of course, the age difference between you and the boy described is significant, but you can think about how to behave based on what is described