What to do if you are a wimp. How to eradicate painful pliability in yourself and be moderately daring. Stand up for your opinion

Hello, dear readers! Irina and Igor are with you again. Surprisingly, often the period called “candy-bouquet” does not show the chosen one from different sides, but makes him a knight, a defender, a romantic.

At the stage of falling in love, there is a tendency to add to a partner those qualities that are not inherent to him, so often girls do not notice that the guy is weak-willed, indecisive and does not at all look like an adult man.

Don't worry. Let's try to figure out what to do if the husband is a rag?

Why?

Before taking action, it is important to understand: why do men become wimps?

Many blame genes for this, but this is not entirely true. Most often, parents are to blame for raising their child incorrectly. Often, the blame falls on the mother. Often mothers forget that there is a man growing up in the family and begin to treat him like a small child.

The boy did not feel that he would become a support for his family, because he was used to his mother cleaning up after him, feeding him and wiping his mouth. The father did not show strength of character, did not show how important it is to be strong. Often in such families, the mother blows dust off her husband, making him less independent. In general, this situation finds its origin in education.

The first thing you need to understand for yourself is not to be a support for the family, not to take on the role of a man. Sit down and talk with your partner, but don't let it sound like mutual reproach. Explain to him why this conversation started, what you want and what specifically you are not happy with.

With your actions, try to help show your masculinity. For example, be weak in his presence, but more on that later.

It also happens that the partner is shy and feels insecure. In this situation, it is important to understand and help you relax. Don’t reproach, but support in every possible way, try to accept your partner’s point of view and smoothly guide you in the right direction.

Believe me, it’s already bad in your soul, and if you continue to finish it off with witticisms or jokes at the address, you will only make it worse. He needs support, so inspire him that he is the only one and in any case the best, at least for you.

Actions

So, what can you do to help a man find himself?

Let me make decisions. It is clear that weak men suffer from a lack of their own opinion. Needless to say, they have no plans to defend it at all. If the partner also turns out to be lazy, then these two qualities can destroy any positive in the relationship.

He doesn’t want to delve into his phone or apartment bills, he doesn’t want to figure out why his neighbor doesn’t give him peace even at night with his repairs, he doesn’t want to look for the necessary products. It’s much easier when you exist, who will warm you, feed you, and pay the bills. Agree, you don’t want to get out of such a cozy hole.

However, there are pitfalls here. You allow them to trust you, but in the end, at the first mistake that occurs, you will have to listen to how unlucky you are for making such a decision. As soon as you notice such examples in your husband, take immediate action.

Ask for advice or help, force them to express an opinion, weigh the pros and cons, then make a decision that will be personal. Don't blame someone for having a wrong opinion. Smoothly guide your partner in the right direction. Just do it carefully, try not to remove the weak desire to express your own opinion.

Be weak. Men love it when girls show weakness. Start small: ask to open a jar, get something you need from a high shelf, screw in a new light bulb.

Gradually, when your partner understands that you can’t do without help, get used to other, larger things.

For example, complain about how tired your hands are from carrying large bags - let him help. Praise him, tell him what a wonderful man he is and how lucky you are, because the neighbor’s husband does not treat his wife so attentively. Give compliments.

Men are as greedy for them as women. Believe me, having praised once, you will get a great desire to do something good for you again.

Replay. Be capricious, sometimes reach the point of childishness, but under no circumstances always be a child. Put your partner in a position where only he and no one else can cope with the task.

Buy appropriate literature for your husband. For example, pay attention to the book by Alice Muiry "Self confidence. A book for working on yourself" . The more confident your man is in his actions, the more often he will begin to take the initiative into his own hands.

Started - finish. Yes, you have developed in your spouse a passion for making independent decisions, but it is important that decisions are followed through to the end, and not abandoned halfway. Convince the man of exclusivity, praise him for his independence and desire to show care, so that his partner can respond to you with even more help.

It doesn’t matter at all whether he wants to build a new house or start running in the morning. It is important that your partner feels supported. Then it’s easy to move mountains, and it’s not difficult to start something new.

What other tips would you add to our list? Share your thoughts in the comments to this article.

Remember that in the current situation you need to be patient. One day or week is not enough to radically change a person. This is long and painstaking work that will allow you to see another partner in front of you.

Gather your strength and take action decisively. Help a man cope with lack of independence, and raise a husband for yourself. See you soon!

Best regards, Irina and Igor

I’ll tell you today about the process of turning a man into a rag and what to expect from it later..

In general, in our society, every second person in the family has a rag! Henpecked, unmanly, whatever you want... And this is absolutely not the man’s fault, he was not born this way, he became this way. And the producer of all this is a woman! Stupid, arrogant, hysterical woman!

In general, what’s interesting is that women are often proud of this formulation “a man under his heel” and often even flaunt it in front of their girlfriends. They show off because a weakling man tries in every possible way to please his wife... And the chicken brain does not understand what danger lies behind this whole scenario. The chicken brain only says: “I said it, he did it.”

Let's start the analysis with the psychology of men. And here everything is extremely simple. All men (okay, let’s say 99% of men) are absolutely non-conflict personalities, it’s in their nature to get things done, AVOID ALL NUTS, be strong and self-sufficient, and relax at home with body and soul.

When a man meets THE SAME, he is inspired and sincerely believes that he has found that quiet haven where he will be accepted, treated kindly and respected throughout his long life.. And in parallel, behind the guise of a princess, everything is carefully disguised and hidden - because on At the subconscious level, a woman knows what a man needs (and how he wants to get married) and diligently plays her role as an affectionate cat.

As expected, a man is not happy for long... After six months or a year, the masks come off, the cat grows feathers and the clinic begins. And this is jealousy, commercialism, demandingness, eternal discontent. After a certain period of time, the man is not directly explained, but “it will be my way!” Otherwise, don’t expect a normal life.”

Let me return to the fact that men, our dear men, are loyal by nature and do not like to get involved in conflicts! Therefore, they understand one thing - “I’d rather do what she wants, but I will find peace.” All these games and manipulations ultimately make the man in the family weak, vulnerable and unhappy.

A woman doesn’t understand this from the word “at all.” She decides that she is so beautiful, smart and irresistible that a man will dance the dance of St. Vitus to her tune, as she wishes and whenever she wishes..

The man begins to avoid communication and presence in every possible way, and begins to search for a comfort zone. Yes, at home he continues to play the role of a caring and obsequious family member, agrees and agrees in everything, because he understands (no fool) that only in this way his bird is satisfied and calm. Outside the house, he feels like a MAN - with friends, with mistresses, and even alone over a cup of coffee in a cafe!

A weak man, unable to cope with the pressure, may start drinking or running around with friends. As a result, he will immediately be labeled as an “alcoholic”, “ungrateful brute”, “parasite” and God knows what else... After all, a bird will never look for the reason in itself!

A strong man will make the right choice - he will tell you to fuck off and go on a free swim.

The average guy will have a mistress. Because the other one will let him quickly feel who is the boss in the relationship. And for them, the stronger sex, this is vital!

Ladies, my ladies)) Believe me, everyone who is “under the thumb” chooses one of the above scenarios!

And now I will try to explain to you how to behave at home with a man and how to be with your husband!

No matter what character you have, you must keep yourself in check at home! Personal example.. For example, my character is not very simple! I am a rather tough, principled and sometimes conflicting person, I won’t let anyone offend me 😀 But my husband doesn’t even have a clue that I can be like that. With him I am completely different, because I have nothing to prove to my husband. He is a man, I am a woman! I am NOT for gender equality! And I like to be like this, an affectionate and purring cat. My husband is my god, my boss, my master (whatever you want). I can let off steam on anyone, but not on my loved one. This is my rule! Because I understand what this means. Because I respect my man!

In the relationship between a man and a woman, everything is the same as in ordinary life: any virtue in the extreme becomes a vice. It may well turn out that your concern, desire to help and selflessness have long been perceived as excessive. There are sure signs that you have gone too far in your quest to be good. It doesn’t matter whether you are courting a woman or have already won her heart, if you behave too well, this may cause you to get something completely different from the relationship you dream of. Women appreciate gentlemen, but cannot stand "rags." Perhaps it's time to decide who you really are. Here are some signs that you are overly agreeable.

1. You show too much respect.

In most situations, good manners and respect for others will serve you well. The women who brighten your life deserve respect in particular. While women will certainly appreciate your gentlemanly behavior, there are a number of areas where showing too much respect may not be appropriate. We are talking about the bedroom.

Showing too much respect while being under the same blanket with a woman is a clear sign that you are too nice. A woman expects a man to be spontaneous, assertive, and adventurous in the bedroom. Your girlfriend or wife does not want you to be delicate or insecure in bed. They need passion. They want to be in the midst of a devastating blaze, and a few loose expressions may be in order.

2. You are too attentive.

You invariably show interest in every little thing your wife or girlfriend does, which is another sign of being too "nice." You are interested in her career, her family, her hobbies, but you are interested in her life much more than your own. Sooner or later, not only will she get tired of you constantly poking your nose into her affairs, but your excessive interest in her will make you a boring bore.

If you have no aspirations of your own, neglect your own interests and forget your friends only to focus all your energy on your relationship with a woman, there is every chance that this relationship is doomed to fail. If you give up everything that makes you interesting, and by and large makes you who you are, then you, first of all, kill the guy she fell for in yourself.

3. You give too many compliments.

Overdoing it with compliments is another sign. Every woman undoubtedly loves to be complimented, but every woman wants your compliments to be sincere. Once you start telling her about her unearthly beauty six times a day, words will lose their meaning.

There are moments when your chosen one really looks stunning: she will certainly try to look her best for a romantic dinner by candlelight. However, at times, if she is sick or suffering from a severe hangover, a woman can look like a train wreck. She definitely wouldn't want to hear about how wonderful her eyes were if they were actually glassy and bloodshot. Give her compliments constantly, but in a calculated way, so that none of them lose their significance.

4. You are too understanding.

Nowadays, everyone is just focused on tolerance and tolerance. Condemning someone's actions, words or views has been elevated to the category of "not fashionable." The only problem is that an excessive tendency to find an excuse for any, even the stupidest prank, is a clear sign that you are overly “correct”.

It is an undeniable fact that some people are extremely dislikeable and even the best people do bad things from time to time. Trying to “understand and accept” the point of view of another person, who at the same time steps over you and your interests, has nothing to do with tolerance. This is spinelessness. Sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself. Most importantly, if your partner sees that others do not value you, over time she will begin to do the same and one day leave you for a man with self-esteem.

5. Being too optimistic.

The last of our list of signs of being too “correct” has to do with your mood. If you constantly smile and show cheerfulness, it's too much. Everyone has moments in life when a person is very “out of sorts.” Moreover, sometimes anger is the only correct reaction to what is happening. For example, bad behavior of children or a slacker subordinate cannot but cause righteous anger. In such cases, anger is a necessary reaction. And this statement remains true if your companion acts badly towards you. Showing that her behavior makes you angry or upset is not a sign that you are unstable, it is a sign that you are human.

We have listed just a few signs of excessive correctness. As you can see, the key idea is to have self-respect. If you have a clear understanding of who you are and what you want in this life, you will not allow anyone to step over you. If you do not have respect for yourself, then be prepared to have their feet wiped all over you.
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Hello, dear readers! I think you will agree with me that there are very few women in the world who want to see not a man, but a mattress next to them. A real woman is looking for a partner who can protect her, support her, teach her something new and shield her from all problems. How not to be a pushover to a girl, what mistakes do guys make and can this be corrected? Today I want to talk to you about how not to put a girl on your neck and what to do if you have already done so.

Basic mistakes

Sometimes care and attention can develop into painful compliance. How does this happen and why does a guy become a wimp and a wimp in a relationship with a girl? Let's look at the main mistakes that lead to this outcome.

Remember that sometimes girls specifically test guys for compliance. How much he will allow himself to be manipulated. Sometimes you really need to put a girl in her place and show her that you are capable of being strong, brave, and sometimes daring and disobedient.

Change will not come easily to you. You need to work hard on yourself. Analyze your mistakes and not repeat them in the future. It's hard work every day. But if you make up your mind, then act and don’t look back, don’t be afraid of anything and boldly move forward, then you will definitely succeed.

I wish you good luck and success in all your endeavors!

Let's start with the definition of the word WUSSY (rag, weakling, weakling, weakling, sluggish, indecisive person).

It comes from two words - “wimp” (everyman, boring person) and another word starting with the letter P, then a U, two S and at the end a Y (“pussy” - here in the meaning of “woman”, a rude word). In other words, a weakling (or wimp) is a boring, submissive guy who acts like he is in distress, needy.

The opposite of a weakling is Maximus in the first battle scene in the movie Gladiator.

When you act like a wuss, the whole problem is that women are NOT ATTRACTED to weakness... and therefore, they will never be attracted to such weaklings.

Never in my life. Never. Never.

A woman can MARRY such a brat either because he is the best she can get, has a lot of money, or he has been paying attention to her for so long that she has given up.

But she will never feel ATTRACTION to him.

Women don't CHOOSE who they are ATTRACTED to, and they don't CHOOSE how they feel about someone.

It just HAPPENS.

One of the problems that guys face is BECOMING A MESS over time...

Once you step on this path, you gradually become an even bigger weakling with a woman and the feeling called ATTRACTION begins to fade away in her.

She will tell her friends “I don’t know what’s going on... but for some reason he started to irritate me,” etc.

It irritates and angers women when a man she is interested in begins to act like a FREAK. These emotions are triggered in most women in the same way that dominant behavior triggers ATTRACTION.

This vicious circle ends with the guy being left alone and wondering what he did wrong... He thinks that if he had told her how much he loved her, she would not have left for this rude jerk.

Okay, now your questions:

1) “What does her behavior mean? Does she have an interest in me or something?”

I interpret her behavior as NATURAL and VERY, VERY PREDICTABLE.

If you behave this way in the future, it will most likely happen again.

Is she interested in you?

Yes, but no more than a FRIEND.

You, by your behavior and the way you communicated with her, KILLED the ATTRACTION that she felt for you. You will have to come to terms with this and take responsibility for it.

You've become a wuss and now you're paying for it.

You have to come to terms with your “inner weakling” before you can fix anything.

2)”Is there, according to your experience, a chance to return her, i.e. make her interested and attracted to me?”

It's a difficult question.

There is a chance, but here's the problem: probably 90% of the time, when I tell a guy how to get his girl back, he screws it up... doesn't do exactly what I tell him, etc.

And of course things get worse.

That's the problem:

Setting your sights on getting back not only reduces your chances of getting her back, but also limits your love life.

The best thing you can do is CONTINUE to live your life. The irony is that your chances are greatest when you DON'T even TRY to get her back.

Instead, date others and be rare in her life.

In other words, she won't feel ATTRACTED to you again if you're constantly in touch, be her friend, be “nice” to her...and try to “win her” again.

It would be nice if things worked that simple, but they don't.

Why do guys pursue women and continue to do the WRONG things...even after she's gone?

In such cases, we tend to think “that's not fair” and “I did everything right” and feel right because we are the good guys...but fail to notice that it is not producing the RESULTS we want.

Remember..

Falling in love is not HONEST, not “correct”, it doesn’t care how cute you are. Falling in love can sometimes be cruel and painful.

The irony is that she may be just as depressed about this situation as you are.

Women HATE when guys become wimps.

I know, I know...she behaved in such a way that you became more and more weakling. It's her fault..right?

Women act this way to TEST you.

They are not TRYING to make a wimp out of you. But if you DO become a wimp, she will realize that she cannot trust you as a man and should leave.

Now she behaves this way not because she wants to offend you, but because with you she did not get the feelings she wanted... and now she gets them from that idiot.

SOLUTION..

Like I said, you need to get on with your life. Humble yourself.

It's more important to start dating OTHER WOMEN IMMEDIATELY.

Not in a couple of days, not next week. NOW.

Stop calling her. Stop answering her right away. Don't be her errand boy.

The last thing you want is to “just be a friend”...so STOP BEING A FRIEND.

The next time she calls, tell her you're meeting someone else at home or going on a date. Of course, this must actually be TRUE.

Stop being AVAILABLE. Enjoy your life.

Go on dates.

If you find yourself thinking about her and wanting to hear her voice, SLAP YOURSELF. If you can't, have a friend do it.

When you talk to her, say:

“Calling for therapy? It won’t work...I have to run to the gym to get in shape for the date on Friday.”

And remember...

Never in my life will “I was a nice guy and treated her well” solve the problem. There are other rules and exceptions here. And if you want to keep an attractive woman, it would be a good idea to study them.

This is a skill you won't get by being “nice” and acting like your mommy taught you...

If a woman feels ATTRACTION to a man, she will do almost anything to be with him. But if NO, then there is almost no chance that she will stay with you.

This is EVEN MORE correct if we are talking about a truly ATTRACTIVE woman who is not deprived of male attention.

The irony is that it is much easier to make her feel attracted to you than to be a doormat (follow her, buy her gifts and take her to restaurants) and thereby pester her.

For many years I was a child myself.

I made all the classic mistakes.

But over the past few years, I've not only learned how to banish the "inner brat"...I've also learned how to create ATTRACTION through communication and body language alone.

I just wish they had taught me this 15 years ago...

If you are reading this now and you have banished the “inner brat”, learned to ATTRACT women without stalking them, without buying gifts, without groveling in front of them, then listen...

THE TIME HAS COME.

Things won't fix themselves.